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Relationships

Partner just battered me in front of our 3 yr old

59 replies

Dolphin321 · 14/03/2018 01:28

Dont know why im writing this as i already know answer but i am often
and keep taking this joke back
Tonight i had a go at my partner because he doesnt kiss me. I confronted him about his lack of love for me . Of course im.an idiot because hes hit me plenty times before.
As i was talking to him he was getting more and more annoyed and kept throwing my daughters toys at me. Quite hard. It was for a reaction and it worked. I chucked a plastic toy at him which bounced off him and just touched my daughters foot. I know i shouldnt have reacted but he was goading me and it worked
He then flew accross the room and held me up against the wall slapping me hard accross the head and face whilst shouting at me..i tried to fight him off me so he battered me around the head some more then held me down on my daughter's bed bruising my arms then held his hand over my mouth to point i couldnt breathe. Then he let go and kicked me in my leg. My poor child was screaming crying and trying to pull him off me. He then said it was my fault and went in.the kitchen to eat strawberries in an apparent attempt to normalise the situation and so he wouldnt have to leave as i was repeatedly asking for my house keys back
Hes done this b4 and says its my fault as i nag and go on
.i do go on and on when im.upset so in the past ive felt as if i deserve it somehow. I had implants due to a breast deformity and he constantly calls me fake during arguments and calls my mother names. We was together 8 years when i had his child he left me 4 another woman 3 months later..she dumped him and done him for harassment 4 constantly messaging her asking her back and like a dumb fool i took him back after she took him.to court. Hes now on probation doing a DV course called building better relationships. Which clearly hasnt helped. What response am.i expecting? I don't know. Most times he can be very charming and help with money and around the house, planning holiday with me and our daughter and being funny. Not romantic though and its ok. But he intermittently does this. Ive thrown him out but am reluctant to call police as social services get involved. He is gonna come back tonight most likely saying he is truly sorry and hes under stress ect and he is freezing cold sleeping in his car and shivering which is why i let him back.in last time as didnt want him telling his friends ive made him.sleep in his car when they dont knoe whats happened. .im at a loss as to how dumb i am

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Mooey89 · 15/03/2018 20:46

Dolphin, you are amazing.
Well done for taking the first steps to secure your future.

I wanted to give you hope from 4 years down the line.

My son was 6 months old when my EXH strangled me, again, and I decided that enough was enough.

I’m going to be honest here,

I didn’t report it. I didn’t want him to lose his job or reputation and I think I wanted to minimise what had happened.

He told me he loved me and he’d change and I wanted to believe him so badly that it took me a long time even after moving out to well and truly cut ties.

I have had counselling now and put boundaries in place and can absolutely see ex for the abusive prick he is, following the abusers script.

Have a read of Lundy Bancroft, it will really help you.

I’m glad you reported this, OP

Last year my ex took me to court for joint custody of our son.

All the police reports I had were after the fog had lifted - times when he’d harassed me by texting 30 times a day, threatening to kill me, calling me a whore during handovers.

If I’d have reported the abuse at the time I might have been more able to protect my son from the contact with his father.

He didn’t get joint custody but he did get more than I was comfortable with (every other weekend)

However, we now have a non molestation order, live with order for my son, no handovers done by him and he is not allowed in my road.

I recently bought a house with my lovely, kind, amazing fiancé and life is so, so good.

Congratulations on the rest of your life x