My parents are due to visit in a few weeks. They live a few hours drive away and we tend to see them every few months. I have two DC age 5 and 7 who adore their grandparents and my parents really love them too.
However, DH and I absolutely dread seeing them and I feel powerless to change this. I can’t even articulate exactly why. I feel stressed before they come which means I am stressed so the DC behave worse. I then get more stressed so they behave more badly, add in over excitement about seeing grandparents and it just becomes a vicious circle. My parents do not like my DH as they feel he is too harsh on the kids. This is despite us following methods recommended from a parenting course I did to help with behaviour (DC2 can be very challenging) which have made a positive difference to everyone.
I find it almost impossible to feel anything but a sulky teenager when they visit. I certainly do not feel like the parent in the house and am really not sure why. I guess having my parents there seems to completely change the dynamic and I feel they are in charge. Any advice for how to regain in control somehow?!
I need to talk to them before they come to try to make sure that the weekend is not filled with tears, arguments and me counting the seconds until they leave. However, I have no idea what to say. I see other people who have great relationships with their own parents and wish we could have that.
I feel as if I need a mantra!