AIBU to be annoyed that I never got anything for Mother's Day??

[Rmcni08]

So over a week ago my mother in law quite suddenly passed away. Obviously today is Mother's Day and I am very aware it's going to be an awful day for him. I wasn't expecting presents and flowers or a meal out like we normally do. But AIBU to be a little disappointed to not even get a card from my 3 children? I actually feel a bit awful being disappointed but I can't help it. Obviously I haven't said anything to him and I won't but I do feel I little sad I didn't get even a card,

Seriously?

How old are your children?

Yes you are being completely unreasonable. Get some sense of perspective here. And just give your family some hugs and treasure them.

Blimey I think he's got enough on his plate, he's probably not even acknowledged/realised it's mothers day

How old are dc

I think it's one year you are going to have to put your own feelings aside and just get on with the day. He has lost his mother make it about him.

We've got 3 under 6. I do feel like crap feeling disappointed!

He lost his Mother a few days ago. I think you can let this go..

hope you feel better.

Perhaps let it go this year and your 'own' day later in the year

Yes. YABU.

The day isn’t over yet
You can ask the children to draw you a picture ,do some baking , take some photos , watch a film , go for a walk , choose a bunch of daffodils and hug your husband.

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL but it's likely to feel very raw for your DH today of all days so definitely don't mention it.
I'm surprised that your school age child/children didn't make a card at school though.

wow his mother just died days ago and your making it all about you! Surely your dc made your cards at school I know my two did and I told dh not to bother buyin cards as the kids had made home made ones.

Obviously I won't be mentioning this to him it's just quite a complicated situation if I'm honest without going into too much detail, they hadn't spoke in quite a long time she basically cut us all off, her grandchildren included because she didn't agree that we have 3 children and are not married. I can't remember the last time he or I spoke to her! I know it's obviously still his mum and I have been very supportive and understanding this past week but I genuinely can't but feel disappointed that I didn't get a card.

In the very sad circs, , with dcs too little to go and buy anything themselves, I think your Dh can be excused. I had thought at first that your dcs were older.

I do understand why you're feeling disappointed, though. Don't let it show, though I don't suppose you are. In the circs you would probably feel bad later.

I used to have a colleague whose 2 grown up dcs - who'd always given her grief anyway - both failed to send so much as a card, and then both separately said they had, but '...it must have got lost in the post.'

In other words, it could be an awful lot worse.
I do hope you feel better soon.

yabu and you know it.
did the older one not do something at school for you?
give your dh a hug and get over yourself!

This is the woman that gave birth to him and raised him who has just died what can’t you comprehend? Regardless is the last years were strained between them that’s still his mother!

Also no cards from school, we had to travel to where his mums lives on Wednesday and stayed their to Friday evening so I think they missed that in school.

You sound incredibly selfish.

You need to be offering your support for much longer than a week! You sound like you have an empathy chip missing from your brain.

Aw. I can understand your disappointment. He's probably forgotten or blanked it admist his grief, however complicated that might be. The kids would've needed him to produce anything as they're so young. Buy yourself some flowers or paint/ draw/ bake with the kids. Ask them to make something for you. Next year will be better.

I have plenty of empathy thanks! And I know how long my support is needed. At the end of the day I am only human, and as I've said before already I have not mentioned it to him nor will I be I came on here to talk about something I couldn't talk to my partner about because I know he is hurting just because I'm disappointed over a card does not make me a horrible or any less supportive other half.

I lost my mother and o can tell you it’s the worse pain I’ve ever felt... I think if anything you should be there for him. It’s probably still sinking in for him and it being mother’s day it might just hit him hard. He’s going through a LOT and you care about some MD card?? Get a grip and put your big girl pants on!

Ask your kids for a mother’s day hug. Ask them if they’d like to make mother’s day cards to celebrate and bake a cake with you.
Then go for a walk and something. But some flowers when you’re out.

If he does realise it's mother's day, it's probably too painful for him to acknowledge, given that he just lost his.

Why do people have to pile on with the heavy handed personal insults? OP has SAID she wouldn't draw his attention to it. She knows she's prob being unreasonable. She was just feeling a bit sorry for herself. Yes yabu OP. But don't beat yourself up. Give Dh and the dcs a hug and be happy for the health of your family.