Sorry if this turns out lo g and boring...
I think it's probably a 'rough patch' and the 'incidents' probably sound minor but I feel really strange like I might just have changed the way I view him irreparably. It just doesn't sit right.
Been together 4 years, lived together 2. I have DD from previous who is 7. DP has recently bought a business, which I am involved in to a small extent. He and DD get along brilliantly almost all the time.
Bit of background - 1.5 years ago, I caught him messaging on a porn site. He insisted it was just porn to him, I felt the messaging crossed a line and he'd lied a lot about it so we split for a week or so. Since then, he's always been transparent, when it comes to that anyway. I dont think he really does transparent as it turns out.
Started a few weeks ago when I was looking through his emails to find something work related and something caught my eye. He'd set up an account on a credit score website in my name to credit check me. We'd been talking about buying house. I've had financial difficulties due to divorce in last five years and spoke of how I was worried about my credit. So he looked but never told me he had. I didnt like that at all, so we rowed.
Last week he didnt tell me that nearly 3,000 had been taken out of our bank account by mistake (true, it's being put back). When I found out, I'd been asking him about finances but he lied about it and then when I found out he'd known about this way before I did, he lied about knowing. Not just once, but denied it til he was blue in the face and I didn't understand why.
And today, he's been telling me I need to be firmer with DD. She's a very good and easy kid, often described to me as a 'delight' by independant, unbiased adults. Six year olds can be annoying though obviously, and this morning she was talking in a baby voice and nagging me to get out of bed (I am so not a morning person). He told her off a couple of times. He wasn't technically wrong but it wasn't really necessary. Afterwards he told me he felt bad. I said not to worry she's fine. But I also told him he's been a little quicker to annoy latey, which I know is due to over work and tiredness, but over the weekend maybe try and reset with her.
He then told he was just trying to set ground rules as he feels she needs structure and boundaries. Oh and apparently he's been doing research lately and babytalk is a 'serious issue', as is her too strong attachment to me. He has never shared this advice or even the fact he felt there were issues.
I'm now thinking he's hardwork and I wondering what the fuck is going on in his head.