Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

I would like to only drink on Saturdays again. I don't go too mental as once I've had my takeaway for tea I'm ready for bed! But, tonight is "Date Night" (at home!) so I won't be able to resist the wine

Day three for me...

It felt strange going to the supermarket and not buying wine and the tins of gin and tonic I used to neck along with the bottle of wine.

In fact, it feels strange not to be drinking, full stop.

I know buttonz I feel the same, not having to wait at self serve to get my age checked (which doesn’t come under any scrutiny anymore).
Two weeks for me getting loads more done round the house, think I might dig out my sewing machine and some easy patterns to have a go at now I’ve got more time on my hands.

Great to see you Sweet, you sound as if you're taking lots of positive action and being AF will help you see things clearer. Amazing that you've been nominated for an award! And by your students...that must mean a lot, even if you're playing it down. Does that mean you get to go to some kind of ceremony? I have a very dull life so I am living vicariously through you (potentially) buying a new outfit and getting dolled up!

Welcome Kake, it's amazing how it spirals, isn't it? Well done for taking the first step, you'll find lots of comfort and good advice on here.

Buttonz, Trust and everyone else who said nice things about me inspiring them, that is lovely but so shockingly surprising to me. If you go back a few threads on this gorgeous old bus, you would see that I was drowning for so long. I would give up booze on a Monday and be drinking a bottle of wine by Tuesday...over and over and over again. I was a mess and for so long I couldn't see a way out. My point is that if I can get this far AF, anyone can, believe me.

Margie, yes it's nominated by students university-wide, then short-listed by the Student Union (I think), it's not quite new frock territory, but I might brush my hair . I'm playing it down, because I feel awful to be highlighted as being good at something that I physically couldn't do for the last few weeks - so in the space of 24 hours, my boss' boss both authorised paying someone to take over something for me, and congratulated me for being recognised for doing the same thing. But I am trying to do positive things instead of letting it become depression.

Buttonz even in just a few days, have you noticed how much lower your shopping bills are?

Blue I find having that plan -salad-hot choc- really helps. (And I once did a pilates class that was so tough, two days later, I couldn't laugh because it hurt too much!)

Jayne, I wish I had half your energy!

The bus is awesome.

Sweet - yes, I've saved about £18 in three days!

It's also nice not watching the empty bottles and cans pile up, before doing yet another walk of shame to the recycling bin.

I'd be lying if I said I don't miss that warm buzz.

But I don't miss waking up, thirsty and ashamed, at 3 am... those awful feelings of guilt and terror...

Margie - that is amazing!

The cycle of drinking... giving up, then giving in... it's horrendous.

It is an addiction, but it's also a habit and a ritual. Buying the booze, putting it in the fridge, counting down the hours until you can pour the first glass... chugging the first three glasses until the booze kicks in...

I just want it out of my life.

Well done buttonz. I didn't actually think about the saving money part if I did stop/cut down. That's a very good benefit!

Morning all!
Well done to buttonz jayne and blue you are doing so well and welcome to kake I hope you get as much as I do from this thread. Everyone is so supportive. Just keep posting!
Sweet so glad you are getting some help and well done on the nomination. I’m sure your bosses recognise that you are worth supporting!
Mint yes the Pilates is good. My trouble as well as having no rhythm for Zumba I also have no balance and often fall out of the standing poses in Pilates or yoga but I do agree with everyone that it is a great workout. Another good one is aqua which is very underrated I think. If you get the right instructor you can come out of there feeling that you have had a good workout and combined with a steam and jacuzzi makes you feel so refreshed. I like to go to that on Saturday mornings.
Anyway I’m having a break from exercise today and going shopping after work to buy some new clothes for my holiday!!
Have a great day everybody

Morning All.

I had a dreadful night despite the meditation class, but what little sleep I had was AF, so better than nothing. I seem to have snapped back into AF rhythms relatively easily, thank goodness.

Trust, it's so bloody exhausting though, getting help! I agree about Aqua - no one can see whether your feet are keeping up. I've got Pilates
booked for tonight and Aqua for tomorrow morning, I haven't been since I had flu, so it's going to hurt.

So what are you going to spend it on instead, Buttonz? Make it something nice for yourself.

Have a good day, Babes. If you are in the early days of sobriety or moderation, make plans, don't give yourself chance to slip into easy, old, unthinking habits. Change your routine.

Ah sweet I know what you mean. There seem to be so many hoops to jump through to get to the right place and person that can help you. Why does it have to be so hard? Hopefully you are getting there. X

How is everyone this sunny afternoon? Sorry, I realise it might only be sunny in my part of the world, drizzly/frosty/snowy/rainy delete as appropriate!

Making slow progress, but definitely in a forward direction.

Sweet Glad you're sounding more positive.

We've had an unexpected snow day today. School's closed. We built 5 snowmen. DS's loved it. It's mainly melted now so we've been shopping.

I've treated myself to some Becks Blue as I got an unexpected pay rise. Apparently, the standard of my work is far better than I realised. I'm really flattered. I didn't ask for it.

Baking, that's fantastic!

Well done Baking

Hi Sweet - I'm going to put the extra account into a small savings account and watch it grow as I save the "drinking" money.

I'm hoping that will motivate me!

Day four for me - one thing I've noticed is that I feel quite emotional, more than normal...

I'm not sleeping v well, but I think that's because my body is too used to being anaesthetised by booze.

At least I feel ok in the morning - no hangover.

Buttonz, Spanna often says she wished she'd actually put her AF money in a separate account because it would be thousands!

Back at the beginning of Dry Jan, it took over a week for my sleep to begin to equalise, but even with less sleep, what I got was better quality. I also got really tetchy with DH and DS.

Sweet - £24 so far!

I absolutely hate to think how much money I've spent on booze...

I've drunk heavily for many years, with breaks only when pregnant...

Buttonz decent sleep will come! That I promise you. When I first went AF I was very emotional and would cry at anything for no reason in particular. Your emotions will be heightened as there's no booze to numb the reality of what's going on. Persevere because it is so worth it. You'll start noticing changes in your appearance, mindset, the way you look at life etc. And good for you for deciding to put your money that you'd have spent on booze in a separate account, it soon adds up - I use the I'm Done Drinking App and mine's at over £14,000 now

Jayne fab idea to get your sewing machine out, get making, fab distraction (I hope it was you babe that mentioned that!)

Sweet good to hear that you're back on track me dear Sounds like you've got some classes to immerse yourself in. Be kind to yourself and know that we're all here to support you.

Baking congrats on your pay rise

Trust you're right the bus is a great support for all of us. I wouldn't be where I am today without it. The babes old and new are amazing. The best thing is that we all 'get it'. Keep going lovely!

It is true to say that on the eve of a day off I always treated it as my Friday and my reason to have a drink. This then became Thursday, Wednesday - it didn't matter if I had to work the next day, fuck it I just needed that first sip, first glass - which actually didn't even touch the sides

I think most of us have had those cringe wake up moments when you think WTF did I do, say, not do, behave, upset people...the list is endless BUT what is done is done - there is nothing we can do about it now, except for learning from it and moving forward. Try and forgive yourselves for those moments. Be kind to yourself and look forward not back. Keep going babes you are all awesome. Keep posting, there's always someone here to pick you up and support you.

Friday tomorrow for many of us it's witching hour. Have your evening planned, get some treats in for yourself. If it helps make dinner at a different time, get into your PJs early, hide your car keys in an awkward place so that you have time to think it through before you reach for them for that journey for wine (or whatever your drink of choice is) change your sheets, paint your toe nails. Whatever it takes!

Apologies for the essay, love to all x

It was me spanna (with the sewing machine) haven’t managed to reach it yet it’s right at the back of the cupboard. How did I accumulate so much crap!!
Brilliant post btw spanna I love this bus, it keeps me going.
Buttonz your doing great! Good idea about the savings.
Sweet glad your back on track x
Still AF and feeling determined I went out for lunch today and didn’t feel tempted I had a mock tail and enjoyed the meal so much more I feel like my taste buds have improved.
Welcome to all those who have just joined.

Wow, Spanna! That is an amazing amount of money.

I hardly dare work out how much money I have spent on booze...

Tens of thousands of pounds.

Buttonz best not think about it eh? I try not to think about the wasted money!

Jayne oh yes the actual taste of the food -YUM

Spanna - agree totally. No point thinking about it.

Thanks Sweet, Trust, Spanna - it really was unexpected. I keep wondering if they have an ulterior motive. Like paying me more because no local place will match it and I'll get used to having more money and effectively become trapped...I wish I could just be positive.

Buttonz I was overly emotional and sleeping badly at first too. I'm on a much more even keel now. Well done getting to day 4. I wish I'd kept my drinking and smoking money separate now. It's just kind of been sucked up by other things.

I think building snowmen today is potentially going to ruin me tomorrow. All my leg muscles are aching like I've been working out! Day 67 I think for me today. Had 3 Becks Blue tonight. They're definately my favourite AF lager.

Morning all
Baking I think they are paying you more because they don’t want to lose you and because you are worth it! Was it you on here a couple of weeks ago worried about a mistake at work? I overthink things too. Keep doing what you are doing. It is obviously appreciated.
I am off to a circuit class after work today. Work people seemed surprised at first that I was not going out for drinks after work since Xmas. Particularly when Dry January stopped. At the after work do’s this year I haven’t been drinking at all so think people are totally accepting of it. Strange how people’s perceptions can change so quickly or maybe they are just not bothered enough. It’s food for thought.
Anyway hope you all have a good day. Today I will not drink and will enjoy my weekend.