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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

999 replies

SweetLathyrus · 01/03/2018 16:17

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

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dementedma · 01/06/2018 22:52

Just checking in from Orkney and haven't read the whole thread but I see Barrie has been called into action. I hope someone is looking after him in my prolonged trip in the sidecar.
I have lost my heart to Orkney and found peace here. Too much to explain but a turning point. It is nearly 11pm and still not dark outside. Today I saw whales, actual whales!
I love this place.

Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
venusandmars · 01/06/2018 23:15

ma Orkney is fab, I'd live there if I could. And what stunning photos! Hope your turning point is taking you to a good place x

dementedma · 01/06/2018 23:44

Some more

Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Bumbelinadance · 02/06/2018 06:47

Ok day 3
Slept badly
Woke very early feeling tired
Legs all sort of shaky / pins and needles
Horrid taste in mouth
Eyes dry
Just feel dehydrated

Off to drink lots water
Going to a juice cafe later

Have a good day everybody

SweetLathyrus · 02/06/2018 07:44

Ma the photos are extraordinary, is it your stock stack? It looks magical and healing.

Bumble I have a headache like the worst kind of hangover too, there are lots of physical changes from drinking, so it figures that we have to do it in reverse once we stop. Is the taste slightly metallic? I get that every time for the first two weeks or so. Unlike a hangover though, your headache is about healing, not damage, so embrace it.

This will be my first weekend free of work in months, so I will be gardening, dog walking, going to the theatre (Penelope Keith in The Chalk Garden) and having pre-theatre dinner with DH looking out over the sea. I'll drive, so no temptation (I'm already rehearsing, "I'll have a lime and soda, please.")

Have a lovely weekend, Babes, don't let the WW steal your free time.

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Twattage13 · 02/06/2018 08:27

Morning all - wow those Orkney photos look amazing!

I hope you are okay ma - you definitely sound better than some previous posts.

Yesterday I hosted a bbq at my place in London for my UK based team - was a lovely pm and we had a few games and ate lovely food. I pulled forward my second sidecar day of the week, so today will be entirely sober with tea and TV tonight, and a run on the beach tomorrow.

I really want another loss this week - I am 1 pound off getting back into my usual stone bracket so I am focused and determined again. I nearly had a major wobble thinking my WW plan had stopped working and I was going to remain fat forever now I'm 43, but I've proved to myself this is not the case.

Currently thinking what to do today - might go over to the beach and share a pizza with my boy for lunch :).

Love to all babes.

xxx

Duchessgummybuns · 02/06/2018 09:34

Wow ma those photos are stunning! I’m adding Orkney to the bucket list of places to visit for sure!

Sorry to hear you’re feeling crappy bumble, giving your body extra water and nutrients sounds like a good idea though.

Enjoy your weekend Sweet, get some relaxing in! Driving sounds like a good idea to resist temptation, that’s what I’m doing tonight.

Pizza sounds amazing twattage 😱 im jealous, I’m taking the boyfriend out for dinner tonight so I’m trying to save myself for a big meal later.

As for me, I had an ok nights sleep, have done my workout and squats for the day, going to take the dog out in a bit then have a nice long bath. Have a fab day all XX

bakingcupcakes · 02/06/2018 11:31

Hi Babes, it's been ages! Well, just over a week which feels like forever.

Mint I made 5 months dry yesterday! I feel very satisfied with myself. I don't miss it like I used too.

Welcome Imso and Bumble. I don't have any experience of AA. I couldn't face a meeting. I think it's worth a go if you think it could help though.

Ma Orkney looks beautiful. I've never been that far north.

Twattage Well done on the weight loss. I'm too scared to go on the scales thanks to all the crap I've eaten lately. On the plus side we're now running low on food and can't leave the house to buy any!

Sweet That sounds like a lovely weekend plan.

I'm trapped in my house. DS came down with chicken pox on Wednesday. He's covered. I did a food shop on the way home from work Wednesday and we've been here ever since. I feel like I'm going mad. I had planned for us to go away this weekend but I've had to cancel. I also told DS we could go to Cbeebies land in half term but I don't think we'll be doing that either. It's too far to drive with the risk of being turned away. There's no chance of him being spot free by Friday. I'm hoping they'll scab over soon though. No idea what to do about work either as he can't go to childcare until they've scabbed and my parents struggle having him full days. I'm thinking of asking if I could do slightly shorter days and taking the other hours unpaid. At least then I won't lose all my pay.

I went out with work one night last week. I drank mocktails and had a good time. I also smoked 2 cigs which I enjoyed but haven't felt the need to go out and buy any. My managers took the piss about me being sober but no one else commented. I didn't care anyway. They were really hungover in work the next day where as I felt fine.

Anyway, this has become really long. I hope you're all having a good weekend.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 02/06/2018 11:49

Hello everyone!

I had a huge wobble yesterday - Friday night with no booze?! But I stayed strong. I was actually just taking it minute by minute at one point! 😅

Went for a drink with DH and ordered a lime and soda. Lovely barmaid caught my sober vibe and listed all the lovely soft drinks they had, so I opted for a rhubarb soda thing and it was actually nice. I was looking at everyone else holding their enormous glasses of wine and feeling really grumpy for a bit. But I went through that with smoking so I know it's just a stage.

Then dinner in the garden. I was dreading this. I poured Sprite Zero into a cocktail glass to make it more fancy. It was actually really really really nice to be clear-headed all evening.

I realised I've been drinking with DH because of my crazy insecurity - like I don't feel I'm "enough" without a drink to make me lively/funny/confident/relaxed/sparky/something. I need to explore this. I think it's at the root of a lot of things.

Anyway - first sober Friday night achievement unlocked! ⭐️

dementedma · 02/06/2018 20:45

the photos were just taken on my phone. sweet has it nailed with the word "healing".
It is a very spiritual place. You can feel it in the standing stones, the Brochs, the sky and sea and space.
When you touch the stones of buildings that are thousands of years old, you can feel the memories and wisdom over the centuries. It gave me something I sorely needed and I plan to go back just as soon as I can.
I have more photos but it won't let me post them. will try later

Bumbelinadance · 02/06/2018 22:17

Oh dear
I had 2 glasses this evening
Was at pub
Told self it didn’t count if not home alone
But it DOES count to me

Going to think carefully tommorrow and retrace my steps
My mum and brother had annoyed me with their “ wisdom “ on how to raise my special needs child earlier
I told myself ( lied to myself ) I was “ Catching up “ and “ it’s saturday “

I hope everybody has done better

Duchessgummybuns · 02/06/2018 23:08

Don’t beat yourself up Bumble, tomorrow is another day. Sounds like you’ve worked out what your trigger may have been so you can recognise it in future and find another way to deal.

SweetLathyrus · 03/06/2018 08:23

Morning All. Had coffee and croissants in the garden, groomed the bunny, clipped his nails, put on a load of washing and now I'm off out to walk SweetDog, I may have a bit of a boing!

The play wasn't great last night (actors struggling to deliver undeliverable lines), but it was nice to be out and I discovered that a pub in one of our favourite locations has a huge range of grown-up soft drinks from now fewer than four different companies, plus fevertree mixers and all the usual soft drinks. RESULT!

Ma I've never been further North than Edinburgh, but I now really want to go to Orkney.

Bumble, as Duchess says, it's helped you to identify some triggers, you can be more prepared next time. You need to be in active conversation with that habitual inner voice. Straight back on it today. You'll feel better.

WhatsGoing, that's, great, maybe the tide is turning just a little on drinking expectations. Your DH obviously thinks your the one for him - trust him.

Baking, you star. Chicken Pox is horrible for the first week or so, poor DS. Feeling smug when you don't have a hangover and those around you do isn't charitable - but it feels BLOODY BRILLIANT (and yes, I'm secretly smirking at DH this morning!).

Twattage, it's a lovely weekend for the beech in my bit of the South.

Planning on mostly sitting in my swingy chair for the rest of the day with a book and the Archers Omnibus (it's a bit shit at the moment, but old Sunday habits and all.)

Have a lovely Sunday, make this a day you don't drink.

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MintToBee · 03/06/2018 08:53

dementedma
Did you see the standing stones on Orkney? They've long been a dream of mine. We packed the van up yesterday and headed out to the Galloway Forrest. Damn those midges!!!!

Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
dementedma · 03/06/2018 09:09

mint I love the Galloway forests - great for star gazing in winter - but yes, the midges are a bugger.
I spent some times at the standing stones. I'm struggling to put it into words what it was like and the feeling you get there. will post a photo later if it will let me. they are very different to the stones on Lewis. Less sinister and more.......welcoming, if that makes any sense at all.

dementedma · 03/06/2018 09:17

Ring of Brodgar

Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine
Apocalyptichorsewoman · 03/06/2018 10:34

Morning! Can I join in? 😀

I'm 116 days sober today. I had to stop smoking at the same time as I was in hospital with severe asthma. It's a real rollercoaster at times, but I'm feeling so much better. I go to AA and have a sponsor which helps enormously, but I realise that AA isn't for everyone. I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I ran my health into the ground.

I saved loads of money through stopping drinking and smoking, so I saved it all up and bought - a horse 🐎 😀

He's not a posh racehorse or owt - he's ex-riding school - but he's mine and I love him!
We will be going our on a hack later today 😀

Courage mes braves - if I can stop drinking - honestly anyone can! I just take it a day at a time.

SweetLathyrus · 03/06/2018 12:52

Welcome, Apocalyptic, brilliant, and something fabulous to show for the money saved (as well as meaning you'll probably never have enough money to drink and smoke again Wink.

It's good to have Babes with AA experience around to answer questions.

Mint, Ma beautiful photos, you are in a glorious part of the world.

I came on to say that the sunshine is giving me cravings, but just landing on the page has made me feel better, and I think it's because I'm hungry - off to find food.

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dementedma · 03/06/2018 13:44

Orkney Prayer

Stones
Sea
Sky

Tangled on a rosary of light.

Blessings drop from skylarks.

Mists on Holy waters rise,
Incense
Hangs.

Peace in rock pools gathers.

Ancient tongues still murmur incantations,

and psalms give praise in all the singing shells.

MintToBee · 03/06/2018 14:06

ma
How I wish there was a like button.
Have you been to Avebury?

dementedma · 03/06/2018 14:17

thanks mint
i can't get the last two lines right. That is about the 20th version and still isn't quite there yet.

dementedma · 03/06/2018 14:28

This is better, i think....

Orkney Prayer

Stones
Sea
Sky

Tangled on a rosary of light.

Blessings drop from skylarks.

Mists on Holy waters rise,
Incense
Hangs.

Prayers in rock pools gather.

Ancient tongues still murmur incantations,
And peace lies in the singing of the shells.

dementedma · 03/06/2018 14:35

bugger - shouldn't all be at left hand margin. it has more shape than that but when I post it aligns the text left.

venusandmars · 03/06/2018 15:01

Take a photo of the prayer and post that...

dementedma · 03/06/2018 15:21

ah, good idea!