Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Welcome sobored ... how uncannily close to SOBERED

sweet day 1 is fine, day 1 is good. Just gradually add to it x

Thank you @venusandmars! Irony of my name 🤔

One day at a time.

@SweetLathyrus ... why are you cross with yourself?

I am cross with me too 😡

Venus - that is completely wrong on MFP - not sure how it has been set up but I turn off the exercise calories on mine so they don’t even show. I have used various trackers and I don’t wholly trust any of them and also don’t think you should eat any calories back from exercise if you are dieting anyway!

You roughly burn 80-100 calories a mile on a good walk (there will be variances to that depending on your weight and speed/intensity) and 9684 is roughly about 5 miles so at best you have burned an extra 500 but as it was leisurely I would err on the side of caution and say 400 max. I have noticed over about 2 years that any exercise calories never seem to massively bring my weight down for some reason (even dab walking 4 miles a day and doing 9 hours of cardio a week) and it is mostly about creating the right food calorie deficit and any exercise is a bonus.

Why don’t you go back to basics and just choose a sensible calorie target in MFP that you can stick to (including a weekly or daily treat of ice cream if you want it) and then any exercise calories you do are a bonus? Far easier...

Morning all.
Waves to all the new and old babes. 🙋‍♀️I've finally got a day off work and am bloody furious with Scottish weather! It's been wonderful all week...well it looked wonderful out the work window. Packed the van up last night to go camping and this morning it's windy and chilly. I'm cautiously optimistic that it will clear later. Sobs into morning tea
So yesterday marked the 5 month mark of stopping drinking. It's been bloody hard at times. I've survived a hen night and a funeral. Just a festival and a holiday to go.
As to weight loss. ..I'm stuck yoyo-ing between losing 3 pounds, gaining 3 pounds and repeat. 😕
I'm only eating salads for lunch, have given up sugar in tea and have cut down on sweet treats.

Morning all - not quite a boing due to the weather but had a marvellous night's sleep.

mint - I know that 3 pound thing! I've been living it for the last 2 months since I came back from skiing. I've finally broken through with an extra half pound so I need this week to be really good.

Consequently I am off to Parkrun in a mo (I don't usually do it as I prefer to run on the beach at the coast and I also don't like running with other people as I'm so slow).

Am also on a no / low carb Sat. Omelette for breakfast and then roast chicken lunch with loads of veg and no roasties. Will be in the sidecar tonight but that's it for the weekend.

So annoying with the weather - why can't it be like the first May bank hol?

venus - yes I wouldn't trust anything that's telling you cals burned from exercise. I have a Polar GPS running watch and yesterday I didn't get out of my PJs / bed for pretty much the whole day. My watch said I'd burned 1400 cals, which seems to be about the same as it thinks I've done on a day when I've walked 18k steps to and from the client!

If I've been for a run or walked over 10k steps I give myself 3 points of WW extra food which is roughly 120 cals for the day (I follow old WW points from pre 2016). No more than that though - in old WW points they used to say 1 point for 15 mins of walking or running. Which is 40 cals if that helps?

duchess - hope you are feeling better? I also find it easier to type it out on here. I don't really care if no-one responds. I've written it down and I feel better.

Have a good day all - let's hope the weather perks up a bit!

xxx

Newcomer waves at @MintToBee 🤗

Can I ask your reasons for not drinking? 5months is superb. I did 8 days and thought I was doing well. I'm back on track now.

Have a good weekend all - albeit the weather is shite.

imsoboredwithitall
Of course. Christmas Day was my last drink. My DP got plastered and it ended badly. It almost tore our already fractured relationship apart. I stopped but he carried on until NYE party where he drunk a bottle of whiskey and managed to insult and belittle our friends. Not to mention what he said to his family. So we are both AF. We were up to that point both drinking heavily every night.

Sun's out now. All is better.

Twattage13
My gym recommended two poached eggs, a grilled rasher of bacon on a bed of roasted kale for breakfast. I'm going to try that this morning. Now the Sun's out I'm thinking of throwing shed loads of meat on the BBQ before we go adventuring into the wilds.

Hi all - just waiting to take DD to work and sat here in my gym kit ready to hit Fat Burn and LBT! Then have a massage booked in the afternoon as am SO stiff from all this exercise activity!

Venus I use MFP just to track carbs and sugar and I ignore the exercise minus calories too. The amount of time I spend at the gym I would be eating negative calories some days if that were true, and according to the scales it clearly isn't.

I found it so hard to lose weight for years and resigned myself to being fat, but it was hitting the weights hard and doing HIIT that finally got things moving for me. I am over 2 stone lighter now -though have shoulders like a hod-carrier- and am not too strict about food but try to swerve white carbs and sugar whenever I can and I do a 16:8 fast around 5 days a week where I only eat between 12.00 and 8.00pm and exercise in the morning (as fasted training burns fat). Worked for me but everyone responds to different things. I have loads of friends who lost weight on Slimming World but it made me fatter!

Mint fantastic going lady, congratulations on your 5 months and I hope the weather picks up for you and that you have a lovely weekend

Twattage that breakfast sounds yum - may have it for brunch myself after the gym today!

Sweet don't be cross with yourself. We all love you, you keep the thread going and buoy us all up. I will slap you with Barrie if you are not kinder to yourself (and then force on you to cheer you up)

Got to dash off and get ready anyway but just wanted to send a big hug and some to Duchess - I hope your counselling goes well and that you enjoy your lovely weekend.

Sorry for anyone I've missed namechecking. Life a bit odd and hard here - need to talk to WB after my solicitor visit but don't want to rock the rather fragile and wobbly boat of cordiality that we are currently on. Also as it is bank holiday he wants to take the kids to see his old aunt tomorrow which is fine, she is a nice old dear (and it is a shame the family are so immature that I am not welcome as apparently splitting up from him means nobody is allowed to acknowledge that I was there for 22 years) but am worried evil SIL will be there. The very thought of her being in the same room as my kids makes me want to vomit!

Right, onwards... back later x

OK so now I have the boing :) (aka runners' high).

Swerved parkrun as realised that it was sunny and with no wind on the beach as the wind is actually coming from the north today. Just plugged my watch in and I ran 4.68k at below my PB pace. I stopped to walk for 3 x 1 minute so if I can just knock the walking on the head gradually, I will be on a new PB this summer. I am really enjoying not drinking on a Friday evening and starting my weekend off with a lovely run. It feels amazing.

Going to run again on Monday but it will be a jogging pace run to cover the distance and stretch my legs only.

Only just got back from my parentals and the husband has put the chicken in to roast, so I've just had a roll for now and I'll probably have a cheese & ham omelette later this evening :).

The sun has vaguely come out now as well.

xxx

Thank you @MintToBee ..... did you quit with the help of AA or such like?

I am in some pretty heavy counselling for other stuff. But my drinking came to a head 2 weeks ago when I sat on my own with a half bottle of vodka & can't remember a thing. Not great.

I woke up, praying the will to never drink again. I lasted 8 days. I'm now 2 days in. I start again.

This is a fantastic support thread, I look forward to the updates and reading everyone's journey.

I'm ready and determined .... I can't have another blackout, I can't have another evening of pissing someone off, I can't risk all I have.

mint Did you make it to go camping in the end? Weather was weird here yesterday, rain, then humid and hot, then stormy through the night. Not ideal for camping either!

Twattage thank you I’m feeling much better after my Very Bad Day, think the old brain just needed a purge.

Imso Hello and welcome!

Looking It’s a shame your ex’s family have to be like that. Mine are similar but I was only with him 10 years, tbh it’s a blessed relief as they’re a bunch of dysfunctional weirdos and if they believe the lies he tells about me then more fool them it’s my DD’s opinion of me that matters and she once told me I’m a cool mum. She’s 8 so I got it in writing.

Sorry if I left anyone out I find it hard to write on my mobile. Had a good day yesterday MOT-ed and taxed my beautiful car so I’ve been bombing round the countryside. Went to the in laws and FIL wanted to top up my cider and I said “no thank you I’m driving” Not much but it’s a personal victory. I’ll be there again Monday but not driving and my plan is to drink sooo slowly he thinks I’m keeping up!

Off to Blackpool with all 3 of the kids today no matter what the weather does! I’ve never been before and I can’t wait for seaside tat have a wonderful day all xxx

Duchessgummybuns

Absolutely boiling in the end yrsterday. So ended up here...
It's so peaceful.

Evening babes (if anyone is reading - assume most people are out or enjoying themselves).

Had a brill day yesterday - went out with the husband in the PM and then came back and watched big weekend. Ended up raving to Underworld until quite late, dancing like a loon in my living room, (I am the original 90s raver - I used to go every Fri and Sat and also Sun morning on occasion) and then we had a massive thunderstorm.

Totally forgot to eat enough as wasn't hungry on top of my run and have just realised I only ate about 700 cals of food (although I had a massive roast with all the veg and it was delish).

So the beers went to my head on the empty tummy and I have had a hangover today (not like me). Done well not to overeat and am on tea ready to go running tomorrow morning. Feeling super chilled and relaxed this weekend - such a difference from last week's hormonal anxiety.

I have just checked my DJ app and tomorrow I will finally get to equal wet and dry days since 31 Dec (75 apiece, of which 33 wet days were whilst I was on holiday earlier this year, so this is not as bad as it looks)! Now to clock up to 100 dry days for 2018 as soon as I can.

Take care all. xxx

Hello, BBs! I hope it's ok if I drop in?

I've been drinking more and more lately and it's time to stop. Last night I picked a huge fight with DH for no reason at all, except that I'd drunk a huge jug of Pimms. 🙁

My Dad pointed out that I'm always asking "Shall we have a drink?" whenever we get together and it's just too much. My mum has a problem with booze that she'll never admit to - I don't want to go that way.

So I'm going to stop. I was just wondering - have any of you been to AA? I've found there's a group near me that meets at a convenient time (tomorrow night!) so I was thinking of going, but I'm scared of:

• Being noticed, and people knowing that I'm boozy;
• Everyone there being "worse" than me, so I don't fit in (I'm sure that sounds stupid, given the Pimms row, etc);
• Opening up to a room of people I don't know, about my most vulnerable failings and fears.

Have you been? Any tips..? Thank you.

bloody well done mint
I am on day zero as usual. I am away all this week up north. currently tucked up in a B and B on the island of Lewis with an amazing view over the water.

Morning all - back to routine today after a top weekend which for me only included beers I'd planned and nothing else. The scales are showing 1/2 a pound down on this time last week - onwards to Friday.

whats - I have been a couple of times back in the day. I would go if you if you've already got as far as looking up the time. No-one will be judging you.

Am off client-side today, not in the mood but has to be done!

xxx

@Twattage13 Thanks! I'll pop along and see what it's like. 🙂

Good luck whats - let us know how you get on?

I am already in bed with tea and cat...so tired today after going to the client. Fortunately tomorrow I am WFH.

Not a lot to report really!

x

It's always worth giving AA a go. And if one meeting doesn't suit you, try another time/place. I went, and while it wasn't my 'spiritual home' it was full of people who understood - all of them had been where I'd been and some of them had been to places I'd hope never to imagine.

Ashamed yo say that it was pouring with rain here, so I didn't go. But I also didn't have any booze! I'd normally have had a glass of wine with dinner.

It was great not to drink as I realised how tired/slothful I feel after wine. One glass with dinner pretty much wipes out the eat of my evening. My tolerance is really low.

I might go next week though. I feel a bit scared - but I think it's a good idea to check it out.

Hi all - welcome what and well done on not drinking last night, and Twattage glad you had a good weekend. Ma hope you are enjoying your work trip and Venus, Mint, Duchess, Bored - just hello and nice to see you! I am a bit down at the moment and having the odd drink to 'cheer me up.' Which of course it doesn't. Not tons as working and at the gym a lot, but probably more than I should in this state of mind.

Lots of issues going on re: separation, lots of meddling from spiteful bastards who have no business sticking their oar in. Am overworked and tired and stressed and down. Bank Holiday didn't help - they always upset me for some reason. Would be more specific but too identifying potentially. I just want to run away from my life...

Hi @LookingforHope 😃 I completely understand the drinking to "cheer you up". But it never does! Funny how we always expect it to, despite so many occasions where the first drink was fun and uplifting, but the following ones just led to our mood getting worse and worse.

I'm just back from lunch at TGI Fridays with the DC. A week ago, I'd have had a beer, as I was pretty much drinking something every day. Today I was firmly back on the Diet Coke.

I just read this blog and it really resonated with me. It's a bit cloying to anyone who isn't into dating advice, but it's about drinking and rang a LOT of bells with me. I think I've always drunk to gain confidence. But it never works:

www.thedatingangel.com.au/are-you-there-cosmopolitan-its-me-jessica/

Hi whats - sounds like you and I have similar problems around alcohol. Good luck with AA, if it’s not for you at least you gave it a go!

Looking sorry to hear you’re having a tough time. I always find drinking doesn’t stop the “down” feelings but shuts my brain up a bit for a while. Take care of yourself it’s too easy to spiral.

Hi also to twattage and ma, venus and all others

I’m doing ok, spend most of my weeks on the bus and weekends dipping my toe in the sidecar. Trying to learn a bit of self control, it’s working so far.

Looking forward to the weekend as I’ve realised I hate my job and can’t stand it much longer, need to figure out my options but the hours are so good for me around childcare. It’s a tough one.