Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Morning All. Woke up with a horrible metallic taste in my mouth, I get it every time I give up, I suppose it must be the body ridding itself of something nasty.

Sleep was patchy, but at least I didn't wake at 3.20 and stay awake, which is what I was doing.

Baking, smoking and drinking are so closely linked, it's good you're so aware of what one would lead to - mindful abstinence!

Lots of work to get through today - some deadlines that have snuck up on me, but I feel fitter for it.

Deep breath, today I will not drink.

Morning all - another boing :).

Back in London and about to drink coffee in the garden :). Actually correction I'm now sitting in the garden!

We waited to come back to London yesterday until 6pm, the traffic was still heavy so it took nearly 3 hours rather than 2. At least it's a short week and we'll be back again on Friday.

sweet - don't worry I haven't burned, am anally retentive about the sunscreen. Good work, I also have a strange taste in my mouth this morning. TBH it feels like garlic but that can't possibly be correct!

clear - fabulous another runner. I only pootle about running 5ks ever slower - what distance are you doing? Am hoping now I'm finally shifting this stone that has crept on that I'll get some faster times back. I was about 10-11 lighter when I ran my PB.

mavis - brilliant. The wine craving will go - I promise you. I often think I just want a nice cold drink in the sun. I've drunk a lot of fizzy water with lime this weekend!

baking - yes agree with you. The two things probably go together. But great that you're not doing either :).

Back to work today - hopefully not too hectic. Am WFH fortunately.

In other news, some weight finally seems to be shifting - I am 1 1/4 down on this time last week. Just need to keep this up through to Friday. If I can break through this plateau then I'll be massively pleased with myself. I don't think I've put two weeks of loss together for about a year!

Have a good day all. xxx

There was a good article in the guardian this weekend about running and addiction.

Running has been so important to me. The first thing that helped me reduce drinking. I have my fourth half coming up.

baking the app I've got is easy quit drinking, you can backdate your start date!
Quitting smoking is soooo hard. Chewing gum helped me loads (and now, 14 years later it would never occur to me to want a cigarette)
Twattage well done on the weight loss, and the bank holiday driving. We did not time it well, it was bad!

Morning say - great article. I can also correlate my running starting with the stopping of the wine! Here is a link to the article:

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/may/07/find-it-difficult-to-resist-alcohol-or-drugs-how-running-can-help

One of the best things in life is waking up in the morning and going for a run with a v clear head. It's amazing - I would never have said that 5 years' ago!

baking - you can backdate on the DJ app as well I think. I've just had a look at my stats - 61 dry days, 68 wet, since 31 December. £481 saved this year (when I think I was drinking every day in December, that's a lot)!

mavis - the driving thing is such a pain isn't it. You've just had an amazing lovely weekend and then you have to get in the car and sit in traffic for hours. If I'd my way we'd still be at the coast and coming back this evening, but the husband was insistent he needed to be in the office today :(.

Mavis For me quitting smoking is/was a work in progress from 2016. I tried gum, patches, vaping, cold turkey but I was still drinking daily and for me they're tightly linked. From January I vaped to the 12th and then stopped. I've been AF since New Year too and in some ways that's made it easier. I feel if I start one the other will follow and that sort of helps. I might download an app. It's been 4 months for both and I'd guess I've saved a few hundred.

Say, Twattage The guardian article was interesting. I've been thinking about starting running. Mainly because people on here seem to get so much out of it. The only running I do is from work to the train and I've noticed it's getting easier. Initially I'd be close to death by the time I reached the platform but I'm definitely breathing easier. I'm swimming a mile twice a week most weeks too so I think that's helping.

I'm on the way to work. I feel much better about it today than I did last night (and last week). Hope everyone's having a good Tuesday.

Can I get on the bus please? I got very drunk this weekend on an empty stomach and was vile to my boyfriend for no good reason... I don’t remember why or what was said but I know it was a wake up call for me, and the only way to ensure it never happens again is to give up drinking completely.

I’m a bit scared of how I’m going to handle social events as I have massive anxiety but my boyfriend is being supportive, and thankfully forgives me for being such a massive twat.

Welcome, Duchess, clamber on and join us - no shame here, we've all done similar or worse.

Bloody wine witch though, day three, I've got more done in the last two and a half days than the previous two weeks, so what thought passes through my head? "I deserve a glass of wine to celebrate" (Fuck off twatting brain and do something more constructive!).

I haven't by the way, just venting.

Thank you Sweet, I’ve been to the docs today and made an appointment with the alcohol counselling team in town for Friday. I drink as a crutch when I’m stressed, which is often, but I really want to cut it out this time instead of pussyfooting around like I have before.

Welcome aboard duchess. I was also a 'drink on an empty stomach and verbally abuse my DP' kind of drinker so feel your shame. I'm glad you've had a wake up call though and that your DP is supporting you.

twattage i started with a c25k in September and got hooked! I am currently training for a half marathon so completed 13 miles on Saturday. Was sooo hard but at least I know I can do it now. I just need to work on completing without crying next time

Thanks baking, it definitely took all my determination to get back at the end but luckily I had company. I have joined a local running club and they are amazing at supporting the pretend newer runners.

That article is great. I agree with the comments about running making it easier to manage addiction. I sometimes worry I'm getting addicted to running now though! At least it's better for me than smoking and drinking though

sweet I just had to sit through a morning at work with the whole team discussing their drunken antics over the bank holiday. Made me feel a bit sad to be honest as I felt a bit left out...silly really but I suppose it's a feeling that I am somehow punishing myself by not having a drink in the same way you see wine as a reward.

Anyway, enough chatting. The boss is screaming for yet another report (not my job but no bugger else will do it) and I'm resisting the temptation to tell him to sod off.

Happy Tuesday babes...catch up later xx

Hello- ( again ),
Ive tried to do this a couple of times but really scared this evening. I have to start a 2 week course of medication on wed and i absolutely cannot drink alcohol for 2 days before, during treatment, or for 2 days after its finished .
This is the kick I need but really could do with some hand holding .
Im so nervous .
I drink almost a bottle of wine most nights . In the past ive missed a few nights and been okay ( a bit sweaty ) but no other side effects .
If i do feel ill will I be able to work okay ?
Anything I can do/ drink / take ect to help. I think I heard of a herbal tea that someone recommended but cant remember .
Im just going to embrace this as the change I need, but please can i climb on board and join you on this journey ?
I cant actually imagine a whole weekend AF right now and I want to take control so much and get out of this habit .

Duchess, I drink as a form of self-medication for stress and anxiety too. It quiets the noise and chaos in my brain, briefly. But, here's the kicker, even after just 2.5 days af, the anxiety is more manageable, and because my focus and productivity are improved, that's a virtuous circle, because I'm less stressed about what I need to do or haven't got round to doing. Well done on making positive steps.

Clear, but didn't you just think 'what utter dicks? are they children or grown ups?'

Tink, in many ways, the enforced abstinence will make it easier, it takes away that internal debate, shall I/shan't I? Not, you just bloody can't! But planning is good. I drink/drank at similar levels and managed to function, but believe me, there were effects, you just get used to them as a normal state. I've found even a day or so in, work is easier, yes you might have to work through and see the hangover to the end, but that's what paracetamol and caffeine are for. We will be here to hold your hand whenever you need it.

I made it through the reward craving, I'll be ok now until 5pm (damn you Eddie Mair!), I'm a bit spotty today (more toxins on their way out), but at least one chin has already melted, and my tummy isn't as bloated still fat though.

Welcome tink and duchess. You are in the right place!

clear - 13 miles in the heat - wowzers. Great that you've joined a running club. I did look into it but it's hard as I am not in the same place for the whole week and my schedule is unreliable at best! It makes it hard for me to have any fixed hobbies, but running is great as you can just go out wherever you are.

sweet - stay strong! Work has been quiet today so have asked the husband to bring home risotto ingredients - going to knock one up to take for lunch tomorrow :). I'm massively productive at the moment :).

OOh, Twattage, lovely, with a rocket salad on the side?

sweet you're right, it did all seem a bit childish to be honest. I might seem boring to them but at least I'm not waking up with the fear every morning wondering what the hell I did last night

tink welcome! I'm pretty new to this but try not to think about going a whole weekend. Just think about getting through the next minute/hour/evening and feel free to post if you're feeling low. I've found the advice from here on having a selection of non alcoholic fruit juices and cordials, plus soda and lemonade over ice really helps. I mix them up and try new flavours so I don't get bored of the same drink xx

Not sure yet sweet - will depend on what is in the client's canteen tomorrow as can't carry too much on public transport across London for 90 minutes in the heat!

clear - I forgot that last night there were loads of drunk people out in the garden (they'd obviously been at it for some time). It just sounded like a load of people shouting at each other and braying. When looked at in the cold light of day, it all seems a bit different.

Weclome duchess and tinkerbellx well done for clambering aboard. tink you've got a great 2 week+ opportunity to experiment. Find out what drinks you like - hot, cold, fizzy, sweet; are there new hobbies to occupy your hands and brain, or re-ignite old ones? Notice how you feel when you wake up sober and not foggy, save all the money you would have spent on wine and treat yourself to a massage, facial, something new..... if you're averaging 5 bottles a week that's hot to be £70 or £80 to spend at the end!

Venus you're so much classier than me - five bottles of wine a week wouldn't add up to that, still a big number, but over £10 a bottle is strictly for birthdays and Christmas

So glad I've stayed AF and clear-headed today. I have another few hours of marking hell to get through, so I will say goodnight and sweet dreams until tomorrow.

Thank you for all the messages and tips .
First night almost done and I'll keep reading this thread in bed so thank you .
Liking the idea of focusing on the next hour / day rather than the fact that I can't drink for almost 3 weeks .
Also focusing on how I feel in the morning and how much better I'll be at work .
Have already been a nicer person his evening .
Have bought some nice low cal soft drinks .
Bit nervous about side effects .
Well done it's great reading everyone's positive stories and huge amount of support .

Good night all - I made the risotto (pancetta and pea) and it's in two big portions to take to work the next two days, I've had two cups of tea, and about to start a new book.

tink - take it one day or less at a time otherwise it will be too much at some points.

Sleep soundly all. xxx

Hi all can I join you? I've watched thread on and off over the years, avoided it at first but knew I'd end up here

I've been in a shitty rs for many years. I carved my own space with wine he didn't like me drinking so that fed into the escape thing. It was my 'happy' time because everything else was so awful.

I've left now but it's hard after so many years. Then I had a bad health report and stopped drinking there and then. This was on May 1st. Until yesterday it was kind of euphoric and new. Now I just feel depressed and very empty. I guess my crutch and so called friend of many years has gone. Still on the wagon though. I feel I owe it to my dcs too.

On the upside have started couch to 5k. I lumber along ridiculously but I guess it'll improve!

I do feel much much better. No more coughing, less breathlessness, clear head. I hope weight loss will follow. Will the empty bored feeling go?

Sorry for rambling on first post!

Hi Working I’m a newbie too, and well done tink on your first night

I feel a bit of a fraud because I’m not drinking every day. The trouble is for me when I start it’s hard to stop, and I can be fine until a point and then I black out. Wake up in the morning and find I’ve been a total cunt, or just have the Fear even if I’ve been perfectly fine and nothing happened.

My boyfriend is being supportive, he says I’m not in the doghouse for what I said at the weekend but I feel like I deserve to be, so I’m staying in there for a bit until I get my head sorted. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore, myself included. Boyfriend keeps saying I dont need to give up completely but I think it’s importsnt that I do.

The thing that worries me is other people; it’s embarrassing to admit I have a problem. Whether I’m an alcoholic I don’t know but I certainly have a problem with drink.

Another thing that concerns me is what I’m going to replace it with

Morning, and welcome Working, there will be low points, but that's because you're readjusting, not just old habit and supports, but your whole brain chemistry. It will get better, at some point in the next few weeks, you'll get the 'boing' a super surge of energy and well being, but do be prepared (and plan for ) the lows, the 'oh, is this it then?" it will even out.
Duchess there's no "You must be 'this drunk' to be on the bus" sign, we all have different patterns (though no off switch is fairly common), different aims, but we all want to change.

I've woken up with a headache - heat I think, and too much screen time. anyway, day four., onwards and upwards. Meetings, marking, more marking and NO WINE.

See you all later.

Morning lovelies, well I kind of fell off the bus on Sunday, I went out to the pub with a friend with great intentions but was persuaded to have a drink which turned into several However... although I would normally think sod it I might as well carry on and drink the next night I didn't so it ended up just being that one day and I'm now firmly back on board. Strangely enough it's actually made me realise that I didn't actually enjoy being a bit drunk, I didn't enjoy the hangover and I'm MUCH happier and less anxious not drinking so I think it's sort of been a good thing for me (iyswim) anyway sorry for rambling and hope you're all having a good week