Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Has everyone gone to bed early?

Never feel that what you have to say on here isn't important, or isn't read, or would show you in a bad light. All welcome, all the time

I'm here. had a horrendous dental appointment this morning and feeling very sorry for myself...

Morning - I was here but felt I might be hogging the thread so didn't post!

Day 38 - have a client event this morning so am up v early. The last 4 days have whizzed by. Feeling much better. x

I'm here too. On holiday and keep falling asleep with DS! It's been really good so far. Done lots of tourist things.

However, I smoked. Only one on Sunday when I arrived in my friends back garden in the sunshine. I'm not as gutted as I thought I'd be but not happy either. It was odd as we turned up, lots of people there, some already drinking etc. DS wouldn't come out of the hallway for ages. It spun him out I think as our house is so quiet and calm. I couldn't drink as I was driving but I didn't really want to at 3.30 in the afternoon anyway. I'm not used to seeing daytime drinking anymore - odd as I used to do so much of it!

Ma My wisdom tooth is growing again. It's been particularly bad yesterday/last night/today. It's driving me mad. You have lots of sympathy from me.

Red I find AF easier than moderating. I seemed to be constantly trying to control it and failing.

Twattage You don't thread hog. I know what you mean though as I feel the same when I notice I've posted several times in a day and hardly anyone else has!

CrumbsInBed
Not mine unfortunately. This is work. Although I'd love a flock of Valais to myself.
dementedma
Awwwwwww, a Tiggywinkle!

I have just checked my dry January app and I am starting Day 92. I'm gobsmacked!! I am still getting craving Sunday lunchtimes for a lovely cold glass of Pinot. I defrosted the freezer instead!
I'm off home for a week in June and my friends are already organising a huge night out down our local. I suspect antibiotics will be my excuse there. It's going to be so tempting. It's only March and I'm already stressing about it. 😕

Hi All

cupcakes - I do know where you're coming from on this. I think in an ideal world I would like to eventually be AF. And I agree, it must be easier than moderating.

My problem seems to stem from the fact that DH and I have always "drunk together" since we first met. He is very good at regulating his intake - he can have a couple of beers or glasses of wine and then stop. He also never touches shorts.
I like everything, beer, lager, wines and spirits.

I think over the years "drinking" has become a significant part of "who I am". Friends and family would know me as someone who "likes a drink". They don't really know (or I don't think they do...) what I am like when I overdo it, as this generally happens at home, in the company of DH. I can't think of a time I overdid things in public, as it were. It's almost a secretive thing. In fact it is often secretive. Typically, DH will be in the sitting room watching TV and I'll be topping up my glass in the kitchen, out of his sight.

Our social life with friends and family invariably includes alcohol and so any attempt to change that is bound to be met with questions/comments/making fun of us/encouraging us to have "just one".

I've always been a people-pleaser and so it is easier to go along with others than to stand out and say no. Although in recent times I have been getting better at this.

Historically DH was away a lot with his work and so I built up quite a big social network of my own to compensate. Now I'm retired I've got lots of people saying - meet me for lunch/come round for a drink one evening etc. It's hard balancing being a decent friend with trying not to drink - in my own circumstances.

I have tried and failed many times to moderate. But now I am on this thread and part of a community who are all "trying" in their own way, I am determined to make better progress.

I had two glasses of wine with Sunday lunch - again to be "sociable" and "fit in" with family members, but even those two - not huge - glasses made me feel muzzy-headed on Monday.

The good thing was I ONLY had those two glasses - no sneaking off later for a crafty top-up of G&T on my own - that for me is a victory!

And that's how I am having to play it at the moment - small victories - does that make sense?

Another small one - I had the choice of meeting a friend for a coffee tomorrow morning OR inviting her round to my house tonight to keep me company while DH watches football. I chose the first option, because the evening one would doubtless have involved a glass of wine or two. I know it's avoiding the issue a bit, but I have to do what works for me.

Sorry for what feels like a self-indulgent post, but it is a massive help to me to write it down like this as I don't have anyone I feel I can unburden myself to in real life.

Thanks all for listening. Love and warm wishes!!

RTB

Bit of thread-hogging here, sorry - but DH is out so I can type away without being spotted!

Just reading back your posts from the last few days - taking my hat off to all you AF girls - you are so impressive.

Lux some great advice on what to say - and sound breezy with it, which is half the battle!

Crumbs - welcome and good wishes from me. I haven't been on here long but I feel I'm among friends and it's helping me a lot to keep focused.

Re. nice drinks, I'm on the elderflower cordial, well diluted with ice and lemon. Lime and soda is always a good standby. Also like (Robinsons?) pink grapefruit cordial.

DH helps by putting out a large glass jug of cordial on the table when we have our evening meal. Little tweaks like these are really helping me.

Hi all, hope I can join you?

After a long time trying to cut down and moderate my drinking, this weekend I finally accepted that I can't do it. Well, I can...for a while, but then gradually my intake goes up and up and becomes more frequent. The old story.

So I'm on day 2 AF. I'll read through the thread now but I just wanted to say hallo. Also, typing this out is helpful in itself. I'm determined to live a life without alcohol.

Sending all best wishes to you all.

Welcome Cat i won't call you The Oldest ☺
Good luck, just join in, you'll find us very supportive.

Thank you LuxuryWoman2017! I do look fairly old and raddled, but am hoping going AF might help me regain my feline youthfulness.

Welcome Cat🐱

You've come to the right place.

Red I think small victories is a good way to start! Climbing Mt Everest also requires one step at a time, so no harm in starting small and then growing over time. Its good that you've figured out some of your triggers though, now its just to develop some good countermeasures :)

This is my fourth week of no alcohol on weekdays and I had my worst cravings yet.

It has been an awful day and the temptation to buy a bottle of wine and a couple of gin in tins was horrendous.

I've ridden it out, thank god...

welcome all and just a quick check in.
mint you are doing so well!

I have a temporary denture which feels horrible. Without it I currently have no front teeth, much to the amusement of the dcs. I get that it looks funny but it makes me sad. My whole face, jaw and head are thumping and I can't articulate clearly or eat easily. Still, it gives them something to laugh at.

Oh ma that's miserable, and anything that affects your smile is horrid. I hope you get it sorted soon. One day your dc will have something similar, then they'll realise that it wasn't funny at all

Poor you, Ma - tooth pain is horrendous x

Babes - sorry for radio silence. Still here. Still stressed and struggling. But just agreed to divorce after 22 years of marriage - at least 13 of which have been desperately unhappy. No idea where I go from here and all but a few loyal bus travellers don't know me. Bit yeah - been a long time coming. Stunned, scared and relieved all at once. Onwards.

Morning all babes.

Only just catching up - had crazy day yesterday at work and ended in the sidecar (planned) with the husband. Massive client event and then had to take the decision to get rid of one of my contractors - not easy and I am worried about collective workload again, but the person is just not up to scratch.

Starting day 38 again today.

looking - I know that feeling. If it's what you want and you've been unhappy that long, it will probably be a massive relief that it's over.

ma - hope your teeth are a bit better today. That is rubbish.

buttonz - well done. Hopefully the cravings will start to reduce.

cat - welcome! You are absolutely in the right place. I am not doing amazingly well but I keep trying.

red - can relate to loads of your message. My drinking started escalating in my previous marriage when I was by myself a lot.

It's pouring with rain but I am fine with that as I put down grass seed on Monday evening, so hopefully it will be taking well. Last year was a disaster as we had a totally dry March and hardly any rain in April either.

I love spring rain - it always make me believe it's going to be a good summer!

Love to all and rothbury if you're reading, I hope you are ok.

xxx

Mint That's awesome. You're so close to treble figures.

Red I get what you mean. And all the small victories will add up.

Welcome Cat

Buttonz well done for riding it out.

Ma That sounds awful. I hope they get sorted soon.

Hope Well done. Sometimes making the decision is the hardest bit.

I have got awful wisdom tooth pain today. It's driving me mad. It's kind of ok with painkillers but my water's in the car and they've worn off. I'm trapped in a massive softplay area with no cafe We won't be here much longer as I'm driving to meet friends soon. That's assuming I ever find DS.

looking your life will be turbulent for a while, but it WILL settle down, and you possibly can't imagine the sense of peace and freedom you will have. And you can be happy once more.

dp and I are going out for dinner tonight. We're going to take the car, and we're fighting over who is driving... we BOTH want to! What a change from a few years ago

Have a lovely evening Venus

looking it is scary I know that having left my LTR last summer but oh the ultimate relief. You will need time to plan, reflect and regroup but you will also go forward, small steps then big confident strides. Plan treats for yourself, half an hour to meditate, a nice coffee and cake - doesn't matter what just be a good friend to yourself, it's really important lovey 🌹

Hope everyone else is well, Mint you're a superstar. I keep missing Margie I'll keep an eye out for you cos I loves to hear your news xx

Red you're a wise one and you're doing great. Miss you Made and Elba if you're out there, I'm always wishing you good things.

MissHoolie I think of you often and hope you're OK. Check in if you can.

Everyone, so many of us, keep on keeping on.

looking so very, very proud of you. I know more of your situation that most and so happy that you are going to have a proper, peaceful life without his poisonous hatred. Well done.
DD1 has sent me a link to gettting dental implants done in hungary. has anyone done this, or is it a con?

Not a con ma just weigh up the thought if you need follow up treatment and do a lot of research. I've known as couple of people have dental treatment and surgery there who highly recommend.

thanks lux. it's still a lot of money but it would be worth it to have permanent teeth again. I think I can have the initial consultation in London so might try and arrange that next time I'm down.