I just made a holy show of myself and feel oddly relieved now.

[JesusTapdancingChrist]

I messaged my ex asking if we could meet and got told in no uncertain terms that he wasn't interested and that I need to move on .

He's right. I do. And now that I've had a good old cry, I feel oddly at peace. I've spent months hoping he'd get in touch, convinced that he was still in love with me as well. Now I know 100% that he isn't, any uncertainty is gone and I have no choice but to put him behind me and move on. That feels almost like a positive right now.

The worst thing? I did this after he broke up with me in the first place by ghosting me. Where the hell is my self-respect .

A few months after he disappeared I started online dating and while it was fun to get dressed up and meet new people I knew that deep down I wasn't ready to be intimate with someone else. Knocked it on the head and have been feeling very lonely for the last few months (hence the bad, bad choices).

So that's that. I'm still not interested in dating but am going to focus on myself and my future now.

Manly pats on the back welcome.

Is that your bedroom? It's gorgeous! I'm on my own for the week so I'm watching Ab Fab, it's on Netflix. No soppy romance there!

Not sure how empowering it is, unless alcoholic with weird issues is what you're going for!

Thanks fred - found a lovely vintage frameless hanging mirror in a variety shop today which is going to look great in my room.

I do love Ab Fab. Am dipping in and out of League of Gentlemen which is also on Netflix - had forgotten just how totally daft and great that show was.

Right now I'm watching Get Out. Only 15 mins in but enjoying it so far. Have poured a glass of really lovely red and am trying really hard to focus on enjoying the me time.

Update: Am doing so much better. Feeling really positive and having these moments of realisation every day or two that I haven't been thinking about Roy Crapper and his crappy flappy jeans.

And I'm off on a date tonight 😁 . Received a message on a dating site from someone I've actually met once in real life (he's really good mates with someone I know who has been telling me that he's a truly wonderful guy) and we've very much clicked. We've been doing that thing where you get into a chain of really long messages chatting mostly nonsense but you're making each other laugh and are into all the same stuff and you're getting each other's references and it's really really good fun 🤣. It probably won't turn into anything 'real' but I've been smiling more in the last week than I have in ages.

Onwards and upwards!

Jesus I'm sorry that your dating disaster has been my entertainment, but you are a funny and reflective person, and there will be someone else out there better than Roy Crapper. Rejection always hurts, but that doesn't mean he was right for you. Hope you have fun with your online/rl guy, I admire you protecting your children in all this.

Thank you @Inthedeepdarkwinter .

Another wee update: last Friday was the single best date I've ever been on 😮, have never ever clicked with someone the way we did.

Currently sat here waiting for him to pick me up for date 2 😬 and we're seeing each other this weekend as well.

Roy who???!

Jesus so great to hear your update, sounds like you have moved on and moved up- this guy sounds great! Hope it works out for you.

Jesus that's fab! Loving your updates. Have a great night

Had a really really lovely night. Great food, lovely wine, we pretty much didn't stop laughing the entire time and on the way home we were singing along to terrible 80's music in his car and I just felt really happy and so unbelievably comfortable with him.

Still being cautious and rational but I've been like pretty much all morning.

Oh this is a great thread and has made me laugh. Well done Jesus (it feels really weird to type that!)

Please tell us new guy has no kids?

Good luck for the future.

He does have kids @Spookle.

I'm trying not to overthink things at this point because it's so early but I do think that to not pursue this just because he has DC would be a mistake. I've been pretty blown away by how natural and right this feels and I know he feels the same (huge plus point in his favour: he's very open and honest).

Just going to enjoy things for now and see what develops.

Date 4 tomorrow. It's going really really really well.

🤣

I hope you have a very happy Easter @Jesus (never thought I'd ever type that) and that things are still going well with your new man.

This has been such a great thread - onwards and upwards indeed!

Ahhh I actually love this happy thread. Women supporting women.
It makes a fresh change.
Good look on date number 4 Op, can't wait to hear about it!

This is a great thread. Glad it’s working out. Good luck!

This is a great thread. Love the journey and love your bedroom xx

Just caught up with this entire thread!

I'd have dumped him for the shit tea ha ha ha!

Flappy ankled twat

Glad to hear it's all going well with the new guy, don't forget to keep us all posted on how it's progressing!

Oh and your bedroom looks lovely!

So nice to see more posts . This thread was 100% what I needed to push me over the hump of fixating on useless clown ex.

Things are going ludicrously well with new man. We're officially an item, have both ditched online dating and are pretty sickeningly smitten with each other . It's just been the most natural, organic beginning to a relationship I've ever experienced. I feel like I've known him forever. No-one has ever made me laugh the way he does or made me feel so wholly comfortable and content just being in their presence. He's so smart, hysterically funny, affectionate, really outgoing, charming, decisive, sweet, straightforward, kind, generous and really quite hot too . I feel like a stupid teenager and I kinda love it . I'm always so logical and pragmatic (cynical?) and while we will still be taking things very slowly because of our DCs etc, it's so nice to just feel happy/excited/full of butterflies again.

We've made lots of plans already, right up until Sep/Oct without a single second's hesitation because it just makes sense.

If someone had told me a month ago that this would be happening I'd have bitterly scoffed in their face. You really never know what's around the corner!

Thanks for all the lovely supportive messages. I will definitely keep updating!

aggressively smacks back

Well done my lads.

Lass* ffs

Well done Jesus! Fantastic thread.

A further mini update:

Have only gone and fallen in love 😮. Thankfully it's mutual. Am very very happy. Still have my sensible head on re: kids etc (not planning introductions for at least another 6 months) but otherwise am feeling like a giddy lovesick teenager all the time. Just can't believe this has happened.

or for everyone!

Yaaaaay! I love a happy ending

This thread is giving me hope, and i love the bedroom