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Original poster

I just told BF I never want to see him again

59 replies

Nolongerwithauser · 26/02/2018 18:01

I'm so fucking angry and I'm shaking with rage but he thinks I'm being massively unreasonable.

Massive backstory that I've posted about before. Been with DP two years and he has an ex that won't let go of him. When we got together she really was pretty awful about me, really didn't want us to be together (they are still friends) said I had a personality disorder (I don't). She ended up removing him as a friend on FB as she 'couldn't handle seeing him do lovely things with her' her words. Didn't see or speak to each other much for a year.

Fast forward to October last year and DP started having a rough patch and low and behold, she appears as his FB friend. Messages start between them and basically she has started buying him to work at her house. Loads of pathetic little jobs, which he lied to me about twice. Said he wasn't there, found out he was. I was angry about him lying so we split for a few weeks but got back together.

This weekend was kind of the last straw. He said he was working there this Sat afternoon for 3 hours, 2-5pm. We'd had a bit of an argument on Thursday night as he said he had no joy in his life after us taken him away, all expenses paid, the weekend before. So he left my house on Thursday night at 11pm. I felt like he engineered this argument if I'm honest.

Saturday he ignored me and finally got in touch at 8pm after knowing I'd need a lift to the hospital to see emergency GP at 10pm. I told him to fuck off, drive myself there, bleeding heavily as I've got a condition with my womb. In loads of pain.

Anyway he came round last night and we worked it out. He said he was only going there for the money etc.

Fast forward to today, I got sent home from work with my illness and he phoned me at 5pm and said 'I'm not coming round tonight, I'm working at ex's'.

So I lost it and told him to fuck off. He popped in and we had a shouting match, basically he's saying he doesn't care if she's got feelings for him, he needs to do all this work for her for the money. However it makes me feel doesn't matter. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nolongerwithauser · 26/02/2018 18:03

(Sorry for all the typos, I'm so angry and upset Sad)

OP posts:
Addy2 · 26/02/2018 18:09

I'd LTB if it were me.

Original poster
Nolongerwithauser · 26/02/2018 18:12

So I'm not being unreasonable? Thank you so much! He's made me feel like I'm being pathetic!

OP posts:
Manylights · 26/02/2018 18:13

He's playing you like a fiddle.

Get rid & leave the two of them to it. You deserve better than this.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 26/02/2018 18:13

If he wanted to he could get work elsewhere, the fact that he's choosing to work for someone who clearly is not a friend to your relationship speaks volumes. Bin him off and let her have him. Flowers

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 26/02/2018 18:15

He's made me feel like I'm being pathetic! Another reason to bin him off. He hasn't said "I can understand why it's difficult for you, I really need to money but lets sit down and have a look at some ways for me to bring in other money so I don't have to rely on her any more". That would be the supportive and understanding approach. You deserve better.

MyKingdomForBrie · 26/02/2018 18:15

YANBU at all, he needs to FTFO.

Lillygolightly · 26/02/2018 18:16

Yep I’d tell him to fuck off too...and for good!!

Sod the money, he isn’t going for the money he is going because he wants to. Doing work on the house is a coveinient guise under which to see and spend time with each other. He think by saying that he earns money going there justifies it, it doesn’t!!

Your well shot of him OP

VitriolicMuse · 26/02/2018 18:21

You could do so much better than him. He’s massively disrespecting you just by staying in touch with his ex after she has been such a bitch. I would never entertain my husband going around to his ex’s house to do some DIY. I’m sure she could find someone else!!! I totally understand staying friendly with an ex, I do it myself but there’s a line and he’s crossed it.

Runlovingmummy81 · 26/02/2018 18:21

You don't need this level of shit in your life. Let them both get on with it. X

Original poster
Nolongerwithauser · 26/02/2018 18:24

I really did see red. It's the audacity of him thinking it's okay for her to buy him! She will be loving it too. She's as pathetic as him tbh. I feel like sending her a message saying 'You are welcome to now provide him with food, a car, money and everything else the weed addicted dickhead needs, love. He told me he couldn't get it up with you anyway'.

I won't but it was nice to write it down. Dignity.

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 26/02/2018 18:26

Ltb , if he needed the money that bad then get an additional job. Block the prick xx

Justmuddlingalong · 26/02/2018 18:26

Stop 'working it out'. It's not working. You're unhappy and after the same drama for 2 years, finish it for good.

Original poster
Nolongerwithauser · 26/02/2018 18:29

I don't understand how he's twisted it so much in his own head, that he thinks I should be okay with it?

OP posts:
Perendinate · 26/02/2018 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TellsEveryoneRealFacts · 26/02/2018 18:31

It is called 'having cake and eating it'. Ditch him for good.

Ryder63 · 26/02/2018 18:31

Let the ex have her 'prize'. You can and will do better without him, and can and will meet someone better - when you're ready.

RandomMess · 26/02/2018 18:34

It's all because the money for his weed addiction comes first,second and last...

You are well shot of him!

AdoraBell · 26/02/2018 18:35

You are not being over reactionary. She is keeping him on the leash and he thinks that’s okay. Let them get on with it, and you move on with your life. I hope you feel better soon.

MistressDeeCee · 26/02/2018 18:37

Id have done the exact same.

Its soul destroying, being in a relationship with a man who has an ex who won't let go - and actually the man is as bad, as he equally doesn't want to let go. I was in this scenario with my ex - we used to row about it until I felt physically ill and had a headache. One day I simply stopped arguing, and told him to go. I missed him a lot afterwards but was so glad to be free of the stress.

Deep down I also lost respect for him as I knew another woman could play him like a fiddle - when she summonsed him, there he was. Who wants or needs a man like that? Let him fuck off OP, don't be a part of their games. 2 immature people who can't make up their minds about life and are a complete pain in the arse to their partners can be done without.

They don't really want to be together, they thrive on the game. If it were different they'd be together and thats it. Save yourself the hassle and stay disengaged.

ijustwannadance · 26/02/2018 18:43

He is shagging his ex. You know that.
LTB and don't look back.

Original poster
Nolongerwithauser · 26/02/2018 19:03

I need to really look at why I accepted:

  1. Her slagging me off when she's never met me
  1. Her having the audacity to email My ex husband berating him because he physically abused me and somehow she ended up being the victim
  1. Him lying to me and using me for money.

I really need to give myself a good talking to!

OP posts:
Perendinate · 26/02/2018 19:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MistressDeeCee · 26/02/2018 19:07

You will learn from all this OP. Be glad your disloyal man is out of your life. She knew all about you because he was gossiping about you to her, in a nasty way. Otherwise how would she know? He can't lie to you or use you anymore so good riddance..he will feel it more than you do. We all make mistakes, the worst is when we know and won't rectify. I always say we won't die for lack of a particular man. So go through the feelings of hurt, upset, all that happens when a relationship ends, & know you'll come out the other side far better without this pest in your life

SandyY2K · 26/02/2018 19:12

Good riddance and don't take him back.

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