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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I need to stop my affair

95 replies

plushsuppie321 · 26/02/2018 11:27

I met the man I'm having an affair with 15 years ago. We had a FWB relationship which I always wanted to go further - but he didn't. I moved away, met my DP - who is a hard working, kind, supportive and caring man. I had fertility issues, and after 3 rounds of IVF we have a beautiful girl. He stood by me throughout my IVF (he had no fertility issues - the problem was with me).

Four years ago, the affair man moved to the area where I now live. He contacted me, telling me about his relationship problems. I'm now in a horrific cycle - he contacts me demanding sex, I comply. He uses me, I fake my enjoyment - and then he tells me to go. Until the next time he wants to use me. He slaps me, pulls my hair, is aggressive - and I allow it to happen. I have no idea why I'm doing this. My DP and my daughter are wonderful people and deserve so much better.

OP posts:

HarrietKettle · 26/02/2018 13:01

Stay tuned for the updates, folks

BadTasteFlump · 26/02/2018 13:04

I really hope that's true. And for all of your sakes (ie you, your partner and DC) get some counselling asap. Whether you stay together or not it will help.

ShatnersWig · 26/02/2018 13:05

Very sudden Road to Damascus conversion

Hotpinkangel19 · 26/02/2018 13:07

Your poor family. They deserve better.

taffett · 26/02/2018 13:07

That was a quick change of events

Original poster

plushsuppie321 · 26/02/2018 13:09

I'm not going to post here anymore, but thanks so much for all your responses - you've been very helpful.

OP posts:

LemonShark · 26/02/2018 13:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BadTasteFlump · 26/02/2018 13:16

The power of Mumsnet

ShatnersWig · 26/02/2018 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BadTasteFlump · 26/02/2018 13:18

That actually makes me feel sick

HarrietKettle · 26/02/2018 13:18

I reported and was asked what in particular concerned me about the thread?

you are funny HQ.

Sarahlou63 · 26/02/2018 13:20

Sounds like you need to google masochism...

ShatnersWig · 26/02/2018 13:20

Harriet Amazing what MNHQ delete, don't delete, question and don't question sometimes, innit?

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 26/02/2018 13:47

Honestly you're asking us for advice on this one? Surely it's a no brainier. Block the prick and treat your family with respect

lunar1 · 26/02/2018 14:32

What steps are you on about? There are just two, stop cheating and tell your partner so he can check if you've infected him with anything.

EvieGeorge · 26/02/2018 14:40

I would forgive my partner if he cheated on me
Of course you would .... Cheats generally resort to that line

Of course you should tell him, morally you should because he didnt consent to having sex with someone shagging around with some weirdo

PointyBirdsAnointyNointy · 26/02/2018 14:44

That was a quick turnaround OP.

AthenasOwl · 26/02/2018 14:48

You'd forgive your partner for cheating? You'd have a cheek not forgiving him seeing as you've been fucking someone else for 4 years 🙄

LemonShark · 26/02/2018 15:32

AthenasOwl 😂👏🏻

Changedname3456 · 26/02/2018 16:59

It’s got to have been a wind up. On the slim chance it’s not, at the very least get yourself tested for STI’s OP - and then tell your partner if you’ve managed to pick something up.

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