Men or women can wank over anything that happens to turn them on. Before porn was readily available, for men it could be the lingerie photos in his partner’s/sister’s/mum’s mail order catalogue, topless or bikini clad models in tabloid papers or magazines, or even just photos of what they consider to be attractive women in any publication. I don’t think it’s ‘rapey or invasive’ wanking over random women’s FB photos, just a bit unusual. These women won’t know they’re the object of anyone’s wank fantasy, so how can any harm have been done to them? Even IF they were women personally known to the wanker, it still wouldn’t do them any harm if they weren’t aware of it. And who knows what fantasies they may have about friends, colleagues or anyone, really, if it’s only inside their head? The only issue here is getting caught and then making up some spurious excuse about his partner cheating. Maybe that was just a knee jerk, guilty reaction. But by the sound of it, he’s not a very nice character, and getting caught in this way will just add to the stress in the relationship.
Not all men/women masturbate, but many do. Who do women fantasise about? Men in uniform, hot colleagues or sportsmen and other well documented scenarios.
Some people don’t have a problem with their partners masturbating, others do, but if they dont know it’s happening and then catch their partner at it, it’s bound to come as a bit of a shock.
I think the old fashioned idea that if someone’s in a sexual relationship, they ‘shouldn’t need to masturbate’ is way out of date. If you’re incredibly horny but your partner’s just not in the mood, or not available, where’s the harm in scratching that itch, as long as it’s not replacing your usual sexual activities with your partner and is done discretely (unless getting caught is something that turns you both on)?