If you have been in a long relationship and got together young

[Historicallyinaccurate]

If you and dp got together young (around 19) and are/were in a monogamous relationship, have they at any point attempted to catch up on what they'd missed out on by not playing the field when younger? Do they all feel like they've missed out? Do they grow out of this or has it affected your relationship?
After a bolt of recognition reading a post on another thread I'd like to understand it a bit better - is it common to men in long term, young starting relationships, or is it more dependent on the type of person they are to start with. If that makes sense?

Historically - I couldn’t be absolutely 100% sure but I really don’t think he has and I know I haven’t strayed since. Neither of us are like that now. Back then (uni days) we probably knew we wanted to be together but we gave in easily to temptation and as we were living apart it was easy to do that.

As far as I know, ever since we have lived together and been married we have both been faithful for the past 20 years. I know I trust him and I know we are happy, which is good enough for me.

I got with my gf 12 years ago when I was 20 she was 32. Probably only still with her because of 2 young kids. But since our sex life is non existent now and knowing some of her past partners and what they got up to I wish I didn’t settle to young and got a few things of my todo list worst part for me is knowing she would do things with them (some one night stands) that she won’t do with me after 12 years and if I suggest or try to do something sexual she looks at me like I’m disgusting and like she never done it before. Constantly getting rejected and listening to All my mates crazy stories and I can’t help feel I’m missing out. Only good thing about my relationship is the dc

Historically - I am not saying anything about the behaviour. None of that involves or affects me.

You asked how it is with others. And all I can do is tell you what I’ve observed.

I am sorry you are in a bad place - which I am guessing by a few details in your post.

Unfortunately - given that it seems that your H has admitted to having that need - it’s in the open now. And it won’t go away.
In a way - it’s amazing that your H admitted it - bc - in my observation - people mostly don’t. They act on it - and either get caught (which either opens up or breaks up the relationship)

• or they don’t get caught ( and either get it out of their system - like my friend’s H in previous marriage, or continue uncaught)

So - you can leave. Or figure out the way to deal with it in a way that maintains the relationship.

Op my dh has never suggested regret that we settled down young, if anything he feels lucky that he didn't go through all the angst of break ups etc. Maybe sometimes he wishes he had screwed around a bit when he was younger, but I am as sure as i can be that he has never played away during our marriage. We are having some issues recently but not related to fidelity. Neither of us has had a sexual partner apart from each other and I think that makes it easier in a way, you don't miss what you haven't had ifkwim. If I had had sex with lots of different guys I think I might miss the variety, but I guess i will never know.

Met at 17, married at 22, now late 30s.

Both only ever had long-term (for our age) relationships before, so both very inexperienced.

Have both strayed, but not from curiosity, more from low self-esteem (myriad reasons).

Both acknowledge that we probably settled a bit too early, but still love each other (and what we've built together) hugely, so neither is resentful.

Think if we were honest, we both wonder whether we missed out. But at same time, not sure either of us would jeopardise things again just for the sake of curiosity.

I was 16, he was 25. Got married when I was 17, been together every since. Six boys, three grand children and don't feel like I've missed out on anything

Have both strayed, but not from curiosity, more from low self-esteem (myriad reasons).
@DiscontinuedModelHusband how can you not be resentful about your partner straying?

@MrsWOLF1 and others in similar circumstances, isn't it different when your dp was older than you when you got together though? I'm assuming a 25 year old male has a lot more experience than a 19 year old, so wouldn't feel they had missed out as much.
I'm talking about a 19 or old male, possibly one previous sexual partner, some other gf.

Dh and I met at that age. I had 'played the field' quite a lot, he hadn't.

I insisted on an open relationship to start out with, partly because I didn't really believe in monogamy, partly because I felt he was too young to settle down. I always told him what he did was none of my business, and I didn't particularly want to know, so long as it had no spillovers into our life together (i.e. no emotional involvement and safe sex).

We've been married for over 25 years now and are both most definitely monogamous. I suspect that not having it be 'forbidden' played a big part in his not feeling 'deprived', and therefore it not becoming a big thing.