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Original poster

Dating Thread 129 - Time to put a new spring in your step

999 replies

RunsforCake14 · 21/02/2018 20:14

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
Thread gallery
20
hatty44 · 24/02/2018 05:01

Ooh this thread is fun!

pringle
vet
Thanks both for commenting. You are totally right I am overinvested in him. The problem is I have never done a FWB type thing before. After an awful marriage I decided I needed to get out there and have some fun for me, but it’s kind of backfired as that’s not really who I am.
Still I will dust myself off, refind my dignity and try some proper dating again. I’m sure he’s not worth me pining over.

Kinunir · 24/02/2018 07:09

Pringle You went out on a date, that's the most important thing at this stage. Well done!

Val I hope you are filtering for the right type of man. You need a good chef to server up those moose burgers Grin

kitten Previous one? I've forgotten all about her now!

hatty Be true to yourself. After all, this is meant to be fun Smile

Love Years ago I drunk messaged my then boss on POF. Things were awkward with her at work for a few months after that!

esk1mo As a wise puppet once said, "Control. Control. You must learn control".

Kinunir · 24/02/2018 07:10

ignoring Meeting someone hot and going for the moose burgers is my intention at the moment. I didn't even fancy tweaking Miss Trekkie's antlers last night though Grin

Next!...

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 07:58

Kin - you have still got steak and red wine tonight so you never know - just curios coz I always find it a bit awkward - what did you say to miss trekkie at the end of the evening? Gram me up scotty?

Kinunir · 24/02/2018 08:16

I know, I'm looking forward to that! I told her the Force will be with her. Always. Grin

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 08:18

Kin seriously - how did you nicely say thanks but no thanks

Kinunir · 24/02/2018 08:21

I told her all the things I liked about her and then lied and said, actually, I don't think I am looking for anything quite so serious right now - she probably walked away thinking I'm a bit of an arse but her self-esteem remains intact.

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 08:29

What a gentleman - I just said I had a really nice evening but can't see this going anywhere - I hate that part - just spent half an hour swiping on tinder - now time to get up and make a cuppa - happy Saturday

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 24/02/2018 08:30

val it is interesting how people deal with this - my experience is that people just disappear although they say "let's do this again " or "talk soon" - why do they do this ?

I get the disappearing as they don't have ability to be adult or polite even but why make out as if there is further intent ? I would rather someone is honest as in "I don't think there is a real life connection " but there seems to be so many dicks out there .

kin let's hope she's not reading this Hmm

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 08:38

I know Bloody - I just think it is best if you let people know where they stand - that way no one gets over invested in something that is not going to happen - I did also say to him that I would be happy to meet up for a drink every now and then - and meant it - he is new to this area.

Lovemusic33 · 24/02/2018 08:53

Frustrated, I’m talking to 4 or 5 people at the moment and I still don’t have a date for this weekend, they all seem to live quite far away or are with their children this weekend. Mr Vegan (old iron) messaged me last night saying ‘your still here, I’m still here, let’s change that’, I haven’t messaged back, there’s just something about him that I don’t like but can’t put my finger on it, maybe it’s the whole vegan thing and the fact he looks undernourished Grin.

Popple123 · 24/02/2018 09:08

Hi guys,

I know I don’t post a lot but I read this religiously and am probably breaking the ‘dont Date the thread rule!’

pringle don’t be disheartened by the Greek - at least you’re back out there.

So much can change in one week...last weekend I had three dates lined up (sat - mon) and none of them happened. Fine, whatever move on...so then had one on thurs wasn’t expecting much and I was pleasantly very surprised. Which doesn’t happen often!

All positive signs from him, we kissed a few times - which I never do. He was spamming me with messages (Not love bomb just chat) post-date. Yesterday evening much quieter and no mention of seeing each other again? Hmmmmm

How do I not overinvest? (May have already done!)

MargoLovebutter · 24/02/2018 09:18

I can hardly keep up!

Sounds good Popple! I have no idea how you don’t over-invest. I’m sure I would.

Hope steak & wine is fun tonight Kin. Is this a date with prospects or MB thing?

Kinunir · 24/02/2018 09:20

Margo Steak and wine tonight looks like a potential MB scenario, given we're eating at her place.

VixenSixen · 24/02/2018 09:51

Hatty- my first thing after leaving a very long term relationship (7.5yrs) was FWB arrangement, I didn't want another relationship so I met MrBytheSea and we were both really upfront from the beginning about it. Said from the start if one of us started feeling differently things had to stop. I got very overinvested quickly- I think partly I'd been in a loveless relationship for so many years where I was emotionally abused that suddenly this guy was telling me all these amazing things it was totally intoxicating.

I told him how I felt and we agreed to cool things for while, he has a lot on moving city & moving jobs for the next 2-3 weeks so we don't really have time to see each other but it has given excellent head space and time for me to think a bit more rationally about it. We will see each other again and I think I'll be in a better place to handle it when we do.

The most important thing is to just keep up the communication and be honest, at least you both know where you stand and you are less likely to end up getting hurt, plus, a woman who knows what she wants is attractive for a man too 😜

VixenSixen · 24/02/2018 09:55

Well, last night's date went REALLY well, got on like a house on fire and had a lot to talk about.... it was finally nice to put a face to a name and he treated me like a lady too. Our lives are very different though and we come from different world's so I think I may end up making a good lifelong friend out of this rather than anything else.....id prefer that to be honest anyway because he is so easy to speak to and it was a meeting of minds yesterday. We are meeting again 😊🌻

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 10:09

Popple - give us a clue on why you think you are probably dating from the thread.

saveyourkissesforme · 24/02/2018 10:15

Dating the thread Popple?

Enjoying the thread and continuing to be in awe of everyone. I'm fast coming to the conclusion that apart from the fact that I really do think that OLD is tricky for the over 50's a lot of my problem is confidence and a reticence to market myself even though I know that's what's needed. I don't like many photos of myself and find writing the profile uncomfortable so in reality I've slung on a few bearable photos from the last two years including a few selfies and am nervous of asking anyone to help with taking better ones. I wrote a profile a while back and don't even like looking at it so I don't. Would a few people mind looking at my profile on Match and telling me what I ought to know anyway? That might give me the wake up call that I need.

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 10:30

Kin miss steak and wine is lucky that you are one of the good guys - I wouldn't invite a man to my house for a first date - enjoy your steak , wine and dessert!!!

Kinunir · 24/02/2018 10:33

Val So good in fact that I'm thinking of not following through - I've never had a ONS and don't know how it would sit with me afterwards Confused

BeenThereDating · 24/02/2018 10:34

Kin I hope you find a nice piece of Rump waiting for you tonight where Sir Loin will be moved to rise the occasion and you can T-Bone her against the kitchen worktop while ticking her gently on the Topside of her antlers.

I'm so sorry to drag the thread down to my level but be thankful I didn't throw in the line about Fillet Up because that took everything down another level. It must be the subliminal effect of those Leslie Phillips photos that Cover keeps leaving around.

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 10:41

kin - why don't you suggest a change of venue? That way you can meet up without any added pressure - if all goes well you can take it from there love the steak puns

Pogmella · 24/02/2018 10:43

Been he's hardly going to Steak Diane ;) Make sure you get it well done...

(I mean that's quite good for a veggy of 20+ yrs, No?!)

ValMc1 · 24/02/2018 10:44

As long as you both know it's a ONS I don't see the harm if you both want it - I've only ever had 1 and I was 16 at the time - he was so so hot and I just had to have him - was a crushing disappointment !

Lovemusic33 · 24/02/2018 10:44

Been Grin

I think we might all be a bit jealous of Kin having steak and wine tonight? I know I am.