Would you stay with someone who lied to you?

[BeauxReves]

Just that really. He is kind and caring and we get on well but I have caught him lying to me on a number of occasions. He says his actions were completely wrong and he promises he will never lie to me again. I agreed to give him a chance to show me it would never happen again. But he has no problem lying to other people still, which I know because he is very open about it. It bothers me how dishonesty comes so naturally to him. Am I over thinking it? As long as he is honest with me does it matter? I guess I’m worried I won’t know if he lies to me again. And if it comes so naturally to him, can he stop himself from lying to me too?

Hard decisions

Why should he change? He's got what he wants, and when he hasn't he'll move on. Sorry op, do you want to feel better in the long term or for a few minutes once in a while? Try to separate the pregnancy issue out. This man needs to go, then what do you want to do? What is good for you and your children? Good luck, be strong

Thank you, I’m trying to be strong but it’s hard. I’ve had to be strong for so many years

My ExH is like that. When you first meet him he appears charming with a steady stream of plausible stories. Then they started getting more and more unbelieveable but he would swear blind that they were true. He would lie about everything from the big stuff like getting into trouble at work or dating other people to silly things like why he was late for something. It got to the point where he was lying about things that could easily be proved to be false and the complete lack of trust wasn't sustainable.

We have a child so I have a lifetime of still having this in my life. I can't question how true anything is as he just gets abusive. So I just don't engage with it and don't believe anything I can't independently verify.

If I found myself in your situation I would terminate the pregnancy and concentrate on my dcs so as not to have to live like this but it's an awful position to be in. Good luck and be kind to yourself

Thank you, I can’t sleep again. So I just called the clinic and booked another appointment. I’m terrified. And not looking forward to telling him. Next problem is getting there and back as can’t drive myself.

Ah that's good you've made the decision
I think you shld have the termination and then tell him after so he doesn't try to talk you out of it.

Can you get a taxi or a bus to the clinic?

@BeauxReves so glad you have come to the decision, it will be the right decision long term. You will look back at this in a years time and think what a relief that blokes out your life.

I hope I will. It doesn’t feel right but neither does having his baby. Feels like it’s a loose loose situation.

It's never an easy decision to let your head rule your heart - I think you know deep down that he's not a reliable partner and despite your love for each other, he may not be the best long term partner for you. It's not going to be just the two of you for much longer so it's not just you who will need to deal with unkept promises and the lies. The most important thing for me in a partner is reliability because without absolute trust it's hard to plan to build a life together, especially raising a child together. I know it's a really tough situation and I'm sorry you are going through this at the moment.

It's a very hard decision to make.
Glad you got an appointment.
Do you have a friend who would be there with you.
I know if one of my friends needed me, I'd be there for them.

Yes I have been worrying about the impact of his actions on a child, especially all the drama he creates.

I’m not sure there is anyone who can come with me. Only told a couple of people and they will be at work. Think I’m going to have to ask someone if I can borrow the money for a taxi. I’m still broke

@BeauxReves just checking your going on ok? When's the appt? Are you going to tell him after or just say m/c??

Thank you for thinking of me. I’m a bit of a mess tbh. So sad and conflicted. Appointment is Monday. I haven’t told him yet but know it won’t cone as a surprise to him but still worried how he will take it.

Google - Pathological Liar. it's real disorder that needs therapy. The person can't help but lie even if they don't want to, it almost comes natural.

Not long now! You just need to remember your current dc and how it would affect them!! Xx

It really will effect them, just like the fact I’m depressed is probably effecting them too

You imagine it will turn there lives upside down !! Stay strong short term pain for long term benefits

Are you ok?

Was it all ok?

Had to cancel due to child care problems. Really not sure what I'm going to do. Thank you for asking.