Expected to leave home and my partner

[AmandaJ1995]

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we are expecting our first child together, however social services became involved in September/October (I found out I was pregnant in August, already 2 months pregnant) I found out yesterday that I now need to leave my home (preferably with a family member or friend who can help me with my son as social worker requested) but I am due to give birth in just under 3 weeks and they are unsure if my son will be safe from harm if I bring him home as they say my boyfriend has unprodictable behaviour because he snapped once with the social worker... Is this fair?

Those are some decent options there. the M&B unit that's for "druggies and alcoholics" as you put it might not be as bad as you think. Have you visited? is the other m&b unit likely to be significantly different? In a m&b unit there should be additional support available because all the women there are in a position of needing to urgently sort themselves out in order to be able to keep their babies. Sadly not all of them will succeed but in that environment you yourself - without the same challenges of addiction - have an excellent start to motherhood and a well-supported transition to independent living.

Going to the council and declaring yourself homeless (and yes you are homeless unless you want to choose to surrender your baby at birth) would also be viable but a much tougher path. With a newborn you would be fast-tracked to the top of the list - you wouldn't get a house but maybe a small flat. There would be a lot less support and you would be alone with your newborn a lot of the time. Your midwife and health visitor team would help to some extent though so you wouldn't be completely alone.

Pick one of these paths. Fighting this and objecting to all the options is only a route to making your situation worse.

To be fair, there used to be lots of places to suggest but given the resources have been cut to the bone by this wonderful government we have in power now, there's very little out there. The SW will be suggesting f&f to OP because there will be children on their caseload that require those resources more. It's the sad truth that CSC is on their knees and whilst it may seem outrageous that they can't be the magic care fix everyone wants them to be with housing etc, this is what people have voted for.

How are you, @AmandaJ1995

I've been thinking of you. How did the doctors appointment go?

I will echo the advices of the above PP's. SS have the best interests of your baby at heart. I hope that you are making progress and working with them as much as possible. When will you hear about the M&B unit?

Everything was mentioned that needed to be mentioned at the doctors, they are making another appointment for him and also are looking into an adult ADHD supporter, the reason I said the one for mother's on drugs and alcohol won't expect me is because I am not on drugs or an alcoholic

CAB have said that I definitely need to contact the council if that's what they've suggested which I have done and they've put a homeless report in and have put in the notes about if I am not re-housed by the time the baby is born then legal action will be taken so now I just need to wait for a call from the homeless team, I will find out when the SW contacts me I have messaged her to let her know I have spoken to the council

I hope it gets sorted for you quickly Amanda and I hope you find a way forwards for you and your child.

I think there's a lot more to this than you're saying
That is just what I was thinking.

I hope they can help asap as I am panicking in case he comes early and I don't have anywhere in place

OP when I was in a similar position, I got help from CAB to apply for council housing as a homeless person. My SW badgered the council dept and got me fast tracked to the top of the list (to a 2 bed council house, which is very hard to get in London) so in hindsight it was well worth engaging with SS and advocacy services. You have a lot of leverage in this situation, and in the long run it could work out pretty well for you, you just have to jump through any hoops SS ask of you and be on your 'best behaviour' when they're around. They can also help with costs like discretionary grants for appliances and childcare. It's all very intrusive and demanding but on the flip side you can also use the situation to your advantage.

@Persiancatlany read further up in the comments I have explained without getting personal

Sounds like you are doing all the right things and you are doing your best. Everything crossed you get something sorted

I am panicking in case he comes early and I don't have anywhere in place

No need to panic. Resources are massively stretched obviously and it is unlikely that you will get to move anywhere before your baby is born BUT there are safeguards and structures in place that will kick in once your baby has arrived. You won't agree to discharge from hospital (and none of the professionals will either) until you have a safe place to be discharged to. It will be very tough but so long as you continue to have a positive attitude to SS support and guidance and aren't avoiding or minimising any more then it will all be OK.

I hope that this is all coming together for you.
As a care leaver try looking at Barnardos in your area to see if they can help.

I'm currently living in a homeless hostel have been since the 2nd March, as our son was born on the 26th February so I was stuck in hospital until the 2nd, they still haven't allowed my partner to meet his son

Congratulations Amanda on the birth of your son I hope you are both doing well.
I know it is a rocky journey ahead but I wish you both the very best and I hope you are rehoused soon.

Thank you, yeah we're both fine thank you, I just can't wait for the day we can finally be a family together

Congratulations on your son. I hope you’re being looked after and that everything is resolved soon x