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Original poster

How many of you moved in as soon as you met each other and are you still together?

128 replies

fairyfly · 02/05/2007 18:00

Did it work even though you moved too quickly?

OP posts:
Original poster
fairyfly · 02/05/2007 19:48

I have been so gutted, he has made me feel so special and safe, i'[m not going to run away from it. I deserve it and he knows so.

I also will not move to his area, i will not compromise anything, i have made many mistakes in the past this time i have laid down the rules. He can take them, he has said he would do anything for me. When he says these things i believe him, i believe a man for the first time in my life.

If it's wrong so be it, my last relationship was treated with absolute caution and it was all a lie.

This could be............ but i think i am not compromising myself with blind lust. I am not wanting approval. I am just liked for who i am.

I understand that after 11 days i don't know him, but i don't know the man i lived with for six years.

I have cried and been listened to and spoilt and treated so well this last week that no matter what happens in the future i am not going to hide from it.

I know i could be on my own for a lot longer and still go out with him, i know we don't have to move in together. I want to though, i want to take his help and care and heart. It's a waste of time struggling and running away from it. More of a waste of time than going for it.

OP posts:
NappiesGalore · 02/05/2007 20:17

ff - i think that it very important that you really are being you in this relationship, and not trying to fit yourself in because it looks so appealing for whatevr reason.

before now, ive had a few whirlwind, all encompassing lets get married and be together forever relationships and none of them lasted more than a year. thery all burned out when i realised they werent actually who or what i thought they were, or wanted them to be. or i realised the same of myself; that i was in efect, pretending to be someone else to fit the persons ideals...

OTOH -dp and i met, moved in together, decided to defy all the doubters by getting pg and having ashotgun wedding (love that phrase) and concieved that child within a few months... have since had 2 more children and both our lives have changed beyond recognition but none of it feels wrong, its all good. 5 years on we are still very happy and still both hoping to be together forever.

my word but i can waffle!! (and i want to vomit at the millsandboon post i just wrote eurgh!!)

Original poster
fairyfly · 02/05/2007 20:24

I have also had the lets get married and spend our lives together relationships. I was never in control though. This time i feel i am.

Lovely story Nappies.

OP posts:
PeachyChocolateEClair · 02/05/2007 20:33

I've also had the proposal-after-a-fortnight ones that were completely wrong- but Dh just felt different (although I did have scared moments, i just decided to put my trust in him at those times).

I did have a backup plan with Dh- easier as I was childless though would have been homeless- and I felt safewr as a result because it was a calculated risk, there was no unknown- if it felt worng i knew where I could get a small flat almost immediately, and I had to move out of XP's anyhow.

NappiesGalore · 02/05/2007 20:34

from what youve said on this thread ff, i think it sounds right for you.
enjoy it, however long it lasts! carpe diem and lifes not a dress rehearsal and all that...

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 20:34

yep, have lived together since literally day one and are celebrating our 5 year anniversary on tuesday and have 2 gorgeous kids

we just knew

Original poster
fairyfly · 02/05/2007 20:35

Well he has his own home, i want to rent, if it doesn't work out he can leave.

No ties.

OP posts:
filthymindedvixen · 02/05/2007 20:37

hmm, was living with someone else when I met him, felt such a lurch of ''I need to be with him. Broke up with boyfriend. Moved him in a week later . We are celebrating 12 years married in June (14 years together)

NotanOtter · 02/05/2007 20:38

i moved in quickly - moving up from smoke supposed to be a temporary thing but he accidently got me pregnant and 16 years and five kids later we are still in love and lust
not tied the know but thats for boring old folk!

bonkerz · 02/05/2007 20:40

I met Dh on internet and spent 2 days with him before coming to his house 180 miles away for what was meant to be a weeks holiday! Ended up staying and married 9 months later. Still together!

Original poster
fairyfly · 02/05/2007 20:40

and when you all moved in quickly was it physical attraction or something else?

OP posts:
PeachyChocolateEClair · 02/05/2007 20:45

Well physical attraction was there obv but it was more- just a semse of Oh he's here now really, if that makes sense? We're exceptionally close friends as well as a married coiple and that friendship chemistry was there from the start as well. I was also astounded by Dh's commitment- he'd waited 27 years to meet the right eprson to sleep with after all (wanted to be a virgin for the right one!) so I knew it ahd to be mutual- much to the disgust of the girl he went out wioth for 3 years and never slept with LOL!

PinkTulips · 02/05/2007 20:45

both, physical and emotional pull.

a month after we got together i had to go away, i'd arranged months before to go to portugal to work and as it had been arranged with my dad's business aquaintance i didn't feel i could back out. he was planning to follow me over as soon as i found a place

2 weeks later i was home as i couldn't find a place we could afford to rent and being there without him was unthinkable. a month later we had a pregnancy scare and both realised we wanted nothing more than to make babies and grow old together.

Original poster
fairyfly · 02/05/2007 20:52

I am so confused.

He has told me to stop worrying, stop worrying about him, stop thinking something bad is going to happen, stop being pessimistic, stop analising everything..... just to let him in. I said how could you possibly love me when you don't know me and he said because i love everything i know.

I am going to take his advice and just go with the flow, i am sick to death of being stressed and it is a ridiculous thing to be stressed about. Afterall it is a good problem.

I have asked him to go home......... to give me space......... i said i couldn't work out how i felt until i was without him.

OP posts:
filthymindedvixen · 02/05/2007 21:10

FF - when I moved in quickly I was in my early 20s and it was an adventure I suppose, and therewas always that slight youthful optimism of knights on horseback....

whether I'd do the same again in my late 30s with children to think about is not a certainty.

Do you feel the same as him? If you have any reservations, you are allowed to have some time to think about it all...
But yes, sometimes you just know and it will all be alright.

I hope this is your Happy Ever After. And I wish you luck in your decision.

Original poster
fairyfly · 02/05/2007 21:22

No i don't feel the same as him

he is confident, self assured, knows what he wants, thinks he deserves me, thinks i am perfect for him and the one he has been waiting for......

I have a completely different personality.....

I worry.

But..........

he stops me worrying.

I'm not posting on this again tonight i am actually sending myself mental listenig to all different opinions.

OP posts:
jenk1 · 02/05/2007 21:45

oh, this brings back memories, i met DH on the thursday night, met him the next day and the next, sunday night he stayed at mine and never went back home and that was 7.5 years ago and we have been married 7 years this november.
everyone thought we were completely mad btw but i just knew he was the one.

GythaOggsFrog · 02/05/2007 21:47

We did, and we're still here 20 years down the line.

pinkspottywellies · 02/05/2007 22:21

We met on the Thursday night and went out on the Saturday night for our first date, stayed over and it's now 8 years later (married for 5 years).

pinkspottywellies · 02/05/2007 22:24

ooh, just read why you're asking. You know if it's right. Everyone thought we were mad to buy a house at 19 while I was still at Uni but it was totally the right decision

babygrand · 02/05/2007 22:26

Fairyfly, he sounds great. You've only got one life so take a risk!

pirategirl · 02/05/2007 22:27

am I allowed to share my good memories, cos even tho mine (ex) turned mental, it was wonderful when we met.

Met on a sat in aug, talked about marriage 2 weeks later, got engaged in the december, moved in together just after. 12 Happy yrs.

If it truly feels right, do it.

PippiLangstrump · 02/05/2007 22:47

not only we moved in practically after a day together, we also made sure DD joined us 6 weeks from our first date (and yes she was planned! I know)

dd now 20 months are we are as in love as day one, actually a lot more.

I am as surprised as you all as I've never believed in love at first sight, true love, love forever and ever and all such things. I was so happy enjoying my life as a single girl and certainly was not thinking about babies.

eidsvold · 02/05/2007 23:03

yes - three dds, a move to the other side of the world and almost 6 yrs later.

got together and moved in almost straight away - engaged next month married a few months later ( only waited cause we wanted to get married in Aus), pregnant on honeymoon with dd1, dd2 2yrs later and now dd3. before our first anniversary - we had our daughter and seen her through life saving cardiac surgery - so stressful but we made it

no regrets!

Nikki76 · 02/05/2007 23:04

Got married in secret two weeks after going out....fast forward to 8 years later and have lovely DS