Boyfriend really paranoid, please help

[gaynor83]

We started seeing each other 9 weeks ago. We're both 35.
He's got a problem with cocaine and I only recently found out how bad it is.
Usually he is really lovely and loving towards me and seems very straightforward. Things have moved very fast between us and he has practically been living at my house. I've been starting to think he's the one and I love him. He says he wants to get off the drugs and he doesn't do it around me.
But the other night he was saying that someone has been telling him I've been texting guys behind his back...which is totally not true it's like he makes up stuff in his head and I don't know how to defend myself.
Things seemed to be ok again but today he's started again. I had an important letter of his in my car, and he asked for it today but I couldn't find it. Then later He rang and said he found it in my bin...said it's not working between us..and said cos I didn't answer the phone quickly "did I have my hands full"..as if in was up to something. I don't know how his letter ended up in my bin, possibly I accidentally threw it away but I don't know. Now he has turned his phone off and I don't know what to think. My head is totally done in. I feel like telling him in text that I love him but I don't know if I should...i know he was cheated on by his ex but I'm not the same.
I'm really worried about him too. What can I do? Is it the drugs making him like this?

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. You need to stop this, walk away and do some serious work on yourself before embarking on another relationship. Bear in mind, we teach others how to treat us.

You can barely have begun to get to know this man, combined with him being a cokehead and his paranoid behaviour, I think you would be crazy to do anything but dump him but I get the feeling you wont. Your choice to live with the consequences.

Why have you posted here asking for advice then ignored all responses?

RUN. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

Do not let him back in your house.

February people. OP posted in FEBRUARY

It is now AUGUST

Damn, stupid zombie thread

My BF is very insecure and paranoid. No drug or drink though thank god.

However, mine admits his problems and makes a noticable effort to communicate and work on it. Youve found out relatively early. Combined with the drug problems i say get rid. It is not nice, healthy or easy living with someone elses paranoia.

This will happen more and more frequently until its accusations every week. The accusations will devalue you. You will feel shit and worthless when no matter how you prove your loyalty youre still a dirty cheating whore (he might not say those words, but he might aswell, you will feel like one no matter how he phrases it).

9 weeks is nothing.

Seriously jump ship now. 9 weeks is no time at all. He isn't the one and don't be fooled in to thinking you can 'save' him, 'change' him or help him be a better person. Major red flags already. Moving too quick, addiction, paranoia. You are signing yourself up to a relationship that will be riddled with domestic abuse if you carry on with this

FFS

ZOMBIE THREAD*

Which, as the first poster in a while to post on one, you actively have to make a choice to post on as there are warnings. Just why!? (er, looking at you FishingIsNotASport - I'm genuinely curious! Why look it up from the depths of mumsnet and why post despite it being 6 months since the OP asked for advice...??). Always baffles me.

It looks like this (just FYI)