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Original poster

My partner has chlamydia!! Help?

67 replies

Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 16:33

Hello,
(won't let me post in Sex section)
Please help me figure this out.
My childs father told me this morning that he got a positive chlamydia test.
I have recently had two periods in a month, belly ache and had strange symptoms that I blamed on stress.

The clinic can't fit me in till tomorrow but I'm pretty positive I have it too

My question is,
Should I worry about my 1 year old? I thought they tested you during the routine checks during pregnancy?
If that's not true. What will happen? Did I pass it to her?

I was all clear at the time (unless they missed chlamydia) so does that mean that my partner cheated on me since she was born but is lying about being faithful?

He says one of us must have caught it 3 years ago before we got together from an ex.
But it doesn't make sense if I was clear a year and 9 months ago.

Or did I somehow catch it? I work as a masseuse and touch people all day long.

Thank you,
Sorry about all the questions. It's a confusing disease.

OP posts:
OutyMcOutface · 15/02/2018 16:34

How old were you when pregnant? I think that they only test mothers under 25 for chlamydia.

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 16:38

I was 21 at the time.
They definitely got me to test for HIV but can't remember properly the rest. They do so many different tests.

OP posts:
FancyNewBeesly · 15/02/2018 16:40

I don’t think they automatically test for it, I could be wrong though. You can be completely symptomless with it, for years and years, so it’s very possible you’ve had it for a long time. It’s also possible he caught it more recently. When were you both tested last, and what prompted him to get tested now?

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 16:47

OK, that's concerning. Because there's a good chance I had it and passed it on to my baby without knowing.

He went in the morning to the clinic and only told me after he got a positive test. Apparently his balls were hurting last night at work.

At the same time the last couple of days my symptoms started flaring up. I thought I had belly bug or uti. Even started taking herbal remedies as the idea of chlamydia wasn't even a thought.

OP posts:
dirtybadger · 15/02/2018 16:49

If you do experience symptoms (most women dont, its more common for men to be sympomatic) they usually start within a few weeks of catching it.

Why did your DP get tested?
I dont know about testing. Ask your GP if they tested for it when you were pregnant?

Im not a Dr/biomed scientist, but if it was me (with my limited knowledge!) I would definitely be worried about the possibility it is a much more recent infection..

MincemeatTart · 15/02/2018 16:49

Babies with Chlamydia transmitted during birth tend to get a severe conjunctivitis at about a week - 10 days old. They often get a pneumonia too and can be quite poorly. At a year, if asymptotic they are fine.
At 21 it is likely you would have been tested antenatally but they should have told you they were doing this. You may have forgotten.
If you were clear a year ago he didn’t catch it three years ago.
You didn’t get it working as a masseuse unless your massages are intimate and involve genital contact.

flipperflop · 15/02/2018 16:55

Seems strange that your partner would suddenly have signs and you also have symptoms at the same time? Symptoms show up when you first catch chlamydia..I would be asking your partner a few more probing questions...

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 16:56

Thank you for the replies!

OK that makes sense Mincemeat, she's been healthy and happy no problems since birth. Full of energy. I wish the clinic would see baby and I today.

I don't touch genitally but male client do leave wet patches on the massage towels from that area.

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 15/02/2018 16:57

Can you phone your go and ask if they tested you for it ?

I'd be asking a lot more questions tbh

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 16:59

Yeah it is weird flipper flop.
Until I know baby is fine and I didn't have it during pregnancy for sure..
I won't even put energy into confronting him.

OP posts:
LunarGirl · 15/02/2018 17:06

As pp's have said, if you are both having symptoms at the same time it does point to a recent infection. It's also quite odd, to me anyway, that his balls were hurting so his first thought was to go to a gum clinic. His mind jumping to it being an sti immediately is a bit suspicious.

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 17:11

That's so true. I was so confused how this could happen I didnt even think of that!.. Oh my god.

OP posts:
Karigan1 · 15/02/2018 17:11

Hmmmm I suspect someone’s been sticking his dick where he shouldn’t since I find it hard to believe you would both be asymptotic for 3 years then suddenly flare at the same time. Sounds recent to me.

Ask for your pregnancy notes to check if they tested for it and get checked as soon as you can.

Sorry! Flowers

Rosetree123 · 15/02/2018 17:12

I'm in Scotland and they automatically test you for it when pregnant.

PositiveVibes18 · 15/02/2018 17:19

If you are both showing symptoms at the same time it's a recent infection.

Plus the fact that your partners first thought was to go to the GUM clinic points to that he's been getting his dick wet elsewhere.

If I were you I would be probing further as to where he has been putting it.

SusanDelfino · 15/02/2018 17:23

Was he concerned for his baby when he told you? Seeing as he thinks the infection is 3 years old... Or was he not panicking about it seeing as he knows you wouldn't have had it during pregnancy?

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 17:34

I've rang my out of hours GP. They said I didn't have a routine check during pregnancy but not worry about baby as she would have shown symptoms by now.
Usually shows up as an eye infection after birth if it's transmitted in a vaginal birth.
If I show positive tomorrow they will check her just incase.

The symptoms started this week.. Never had issues before.

You are all onto something..
Thank you!! I had no idea. Immediately blamed myself.

OP posts:
LokiBear · 15/02/2018 17:34

I'd be tempted to tell him your maternity notes say you were clear and ask him what is really going on. I'm 34 a d when pregnant a year ago I was tested routinely.

luckiestgirl · 15/02/2018 17:36

I’d be suspicious of him I’m afraid

Karigan1 · 15/02/2018 17:40

Yeah I’d tell him mymaternity notes were clear and ask for an explanation too!

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 17:40

He accused me of cheating when he told me because doctor said I could have given it to him. Asked me if you can die of chlamydia (I am not a chlamydia expert and never had an std before!) But now wants to take me out for a nice meal.

It didn't cross his mind about baby because he isn't aware of these things.

It's weird.

OP posts:
SusanDelfino · 15/02/2018 17:42

He feels guilty.

Original poster
Miabluesky · 15/02/2018 17:43

I've told him the seriousness of the baby possibly catching it during birth and to just tell the truth.

This is all over the phone so I can't tell what's going on.

OP posts:
mindutopia · 15/02/2018 17:45

It would be highly unusual for him to develop symptoms long after an initial infection. It's very likely recent.

I don't expressly know what's typical in antenatal testing, but I know when I had my first 5 years ago they screened me for chlamydia. I don't know if it's because she was my first? I was 32 at the time, married, have been tested regularly anyway before that (I work in sexual health so I've always gotten regular tests). I would assume it's likely you were tested as well. I'm not sure if they did in my 2nd pregnancy though. I didn't even look at the tests because they said they were all fine. They just got shoved in my notes.

I think it's highly suspect that he decided to take himself to get tested and only told you after the fact. I know if my dh suspected he might have an STI, he'd be pretty panicked. And no, it's not possible for you to contract chlamydia yourself through casual contact. It has to be sexually transmitted.

SM2132 · 15/02/2018 17:45

If I had weird symptoms, I would discuss it with my partner before going to a sti clinic. Unless I had something to hide of course. You need to have it out with him, I think he has cheated. I'm sorry, this is a really crap thing to have to deal with.