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Original poster

Is anyone else just 'done with men' or dating/relationships?

63 replies

RedHareWithBlondeHair · 04/02/2018 20:15

I think I'm just over it tbh. I can't express it fully enough.
The initial rush of feelings, then the abandonment. I just don't want any of this anymore. And what when you have children? Fuck all of it.

OP posts:
Ruddygreattiger2016 · 04/02/2018 20:31

Yup, same here! Just me and dd, blissful!

hattyhighlighter · 04/02/2018 20:34

I am for now, for those very reasons. I'd rather focus my time and attention on me and the dc and our happy family life. It goes so quickly and they're getting older, I don't want to miss any of it or get sidetracked with some 'bloke' I've decided most aren't worthy anyway Wink

Maybe when dcs are older or left home I might date then though.

Badhairday1001 · 04/02/2018 20:35

Yes I'm really happy on my own with my kids. I don't know if I will ever want to be in a relationship again but I can say with 100% clarity that if I do I won't live with them. The thought of sharing my space with a man and all of the shit that it entails is just horrible.

gingergenius · 04/02/2018 20:37

Yep. Only. Erm eith one man since I split from my husband (so in a 9 year period)

He lived with us. It ended badly. I'd never live with another man while my kids are still kids (ie under 18, and possibly older!)

I am so disillusioned by relationships.

gingergenius · 04/02/2018 20:38

Sorry for gobbledegook -

Erm eith one man meant 'only been with one man'

petbear · 04/02/2018 20:39

Married almost a quarter century here, but I have to say if me and DH split tomorrow - or he died - I would never entertain another relationship. Couldn't be arsed.

petbear · 04/02/2018 20:40

I mean, I am happy in my marriage, and I love my DH. I just would not bother again.

GaraMedouar · 04/02/2018 20:40

Yep me. For the moment at least anyway - one manchild/ cocklodger too many .
I’ll wait another 12 years until kids all grown up and then maybe date? Maybe.

Original poster
RedHareWithBlondeHair · 04/02/2018 20:45

But why? I think i've decided perhaps it's me. And I therefore think fuck it.

I've had EA relationships, been engaged and all else in-betweeen. Also my father and mother divorced when I was very young. I just don't see how it can happen meaningfully so. If you want sex then there's quite a few options but if you want to be in love then it's not worth it.

I'm just having a rant.

OP posts:
HundredMilesAnHour · 04/02/2018 20:45

I decided about 10 years ago that I was done with men/relationships. I was badly hurt by someone and just couldn't make myself vulnerable like that again. So I haven't. And I've never been happier! The first few years weren't easy as I missed 'having someone' but now I wouldn't give up my freedom for the world. No emotional rollercoaster, the milk is still in the fridge where I left it and my career has taken off in a big way. It seems weird to be so happy alone but I am.

CJD7263 · 04/02/2018 20:49

Why would you want to start dating again when kids are older? Surely after 10 years or whatever without dating, you wouldn’t miss it in the slightest.

SilverdaleGlen · 04/02/2018 20:55

I'm 2 yrs since finishing a 20yr marriage, kids are settled I'm ok. I'm dating, in the sense I have available hook ups. The odd text flirt and am generally enjoying myself on an occasional basis!

My friend keeps advising me on how to be unavailable and make a man wait/want more but do you know what, why?

I am with you, I don't want feelings, I don't want some man in mine and my kids space. I do want he odd but of fun. And if the doomsayers are right and I'm all alone when the kids have left home? Well then il pack myself off round the world because it will only be my choice to make!

HerBigChance · 04/02/2018 21:06

Agree with HundredMiles

I just couldn't he arsed with the hassle. Long term relationships in the past have given me very little in return for the emotional investment and there seem to be too many immature manchildren about. Someone recently oposted on MN about somthing simlar: I don't have another heartbreak in me. And they're right.

I was very unhappy after my last relationship ended three years ago, but I have developed personally/mentally so much since then and am so much happier alone. I've got lots of plans for the next chapter of my life and I just don't want a man in the way of that.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 04/02/2018 21:10

I’m happy with Mr Kalinka, but if for some reason he were no longer around, I don’t think I’d seek another relationship. Single men are either single for very good reason, or have complicated relationship histories with exes, kids, etc. I know who ends up doing the emotional hard labour.

Eleanorsummer · 04/02/2018 21:14

I am starting to feel that way too unfortunately.

mumgointhroughtorture · 04/02/2018 21:20

I've been single 4 years and I really can't see me finding anyone to give up the single status. Reading posts on here about cheating / abusive / cocklodging / lazy men I just smile because I don't have to put up with any of this anymore . I was in a rships with a narcisstic and he ruined my life . I'm happy now going through life and doing what I want to do without thinking of anyone else or asking for "permission " ...

Being single for me is the good life .

NorbertTheDragon · 04/02/2018 21:23

I split up with my husband last year and I can't even think of dating anyone. Yuk. I don't even know how! There's no way I could do online dating, so I'd just have to meet someone. As I rarely go out that's not likely! And I certainly wouldn't want to live with anyone (except my kids, though sometimes not even them!Wink)

ALittleBitConfused1 · 04/02/2018 21:28

I can't see myself having another relationship, I just don't feel like it's in me.
My last break up was horrific and traumatic there's no way I'm allowing myself to become that vulnerable ever again.
It's not that I don't realise that not all men arseholes, I know they aren't but I have no desire to become emotionally invested in another one again.
I enjoy dating, I like male company and a bit of a flirt so occasionally I will OLD but if ever it looks like feelings will become involved i end it. Its nor through fear its a concious decision. I do not have the want, need, head space or energy to enter into or susrain a relatiionahip.
I like my freedom, I enjoy my family and friends and I crave personal space.
I'm focusing on my career, my home and I value my moods being dependent on only me as well as being able to live my life on my terms. It would take someone pretty special to make me even consider compromising any of those things.

Backtoblack1 · 04/02/2018 21:33

I’m feeling like this too. I’m happiest with my children and hope to be like this for few more years at least. Don’t think I could ever live with a man again. Plus, I’m loving having my super king size bed to myself (despite the D.C. camping in sometimes!)

IrisAtwood · 04/02/2018 21:44

My last break up was horrific and traumatic there's no way I'm allowing myself to become that vulnerable ever again.

I absolutely adored my ex even though he was emotionally abusive. I gave him everything, and I mean everything. He took it all, threw into the dirt and ground it to dust. Three months later and I still break my heart everyday over how he treated me.

I am now living with my ex husband who was always my best friend and have no intention of every letting anyone hurt me that badly again.

UnimaginativeUsername · 04/02/2018 21:44

I’m in the process of splitting up with my P of a decade. I plan on being single for the foreseeable future. I was a single parent before I met P, and it was much easier than being in a relationship in many ways. Once I’ve sorted through all the shit that is getting out of this relationship, I have no intention of getting into another one. Maybe when the kids have grown up and left home, but not now.

Alison100199 · 04/02/2018 21:57

Came out of a long term relationship and am now trying the hell that is on line dating. It's brutal and I feel like giving up and just remaining single. So much easier.

Fadingmemory · 04/02/2018 22:00

Indeed! No man around for over 15 years. Freedom!

beachcomber243 · 04/02/2018 22:12

I value my independence more than opening myself up to being hurt, used and rejected by anyone anymore. I haven't deserved it and it will not happen again. Made my decision many years ago now and have stuck with it.

There is so much freedom, peace, happy and calm times out there, so many things to do and see and I won't let anyone take away from me again. No one criticising, showing no interest, snapping or scoffing. I please myself.

CapnHaddock · 04/02/2018 22:18

Yep. No interest in having another relationship. Hugely liberating!

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