When to have this rather awkward conversation

[Cherryblossom200]

Hi everyone,

I’ve met someone new who I really like, it’s still early days but we’ve been upfront with one another about what we want in life etc as we’re both slightly older. I’m 42 and he is 38.

I already have a little girl who Is 3 and he wants a child of his own. I know we are cutting it fine because of my age, but I would have another child as it would be lovely for my daughter to have a sibling. But it would mean fast forwarding the relationship which obviously is a scary thought. He is aware of my age and the implications. He has asked me outright if I would have another child and I said probably yes. But I still think we need to talk about it properly.

We’ve only been seeing each other a few months and it feels early to be discussing this all. But I just feel at our age it’s pointless wasting one another’s time.

I’m slightly unsure what to do. So far it feels right with him, our core values etc are very similar. But the whole child thing is quite a big pressure on me.

He lives in Switzerland and you are in a ldr with him.
Sorry based on that alone I wouldn't rush to have a child with him.
You don't know enough of his true character and i wouldn't risk my daughter's stability with him moving in and having a baby without the groundworks being done.

The fac that you're even considering this right now, when you do not know him from Adam, says it all.

No, he may not be any different from your ex at all, because you don't know him.

You really don't.

In your situation, if I really wanted another child I would be happier with using donor sperm than tying myself and BOTH of my children to a man from abroad who I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT AT ALL.

Please don't even consider this for at least a year.

This really IS all about your existing child and no, you aren't putting her first here, really.

You’re not in a relationship.

You never see him and you’ve already “broken up” twice in about five minutes.

Your dd (rightly) doesn’t know about him and what? You’re just going to get pregnant one day and spring it on her?

It’s not her fault you’re middle aged. It’s not her fault you’re romanticizing a few emails between strangers.

You’re a mother now, you don’t get to play fast and loose with your dd’s life.

And that’s not even starting on the fact that you don’t know this man at all, what he could potentially be capable of, and are planning on having him forever in your children’s lives...

This will be my last post on this thread. Thank you for all taking the time for giving me your advice and opinions.

The guy in question is coming to visiting me next week and I’m going to bloody well enjoy myself thanks every much! I’ve not been with anyone in 4 years, my mum said I’ve become like a nun. So I want some fun and I am interested in seeing where this goes. He knows my age and probably decided there may be a chance I can’t have a child. I will have that discussion with him sooner rather than later. But in the meantime I’m just going to enjoy the journey.

Thanks again everyone!

You do that op after all it should be fun.
I still have a feeling you will go ahead and have a baby with a virtual srranger, bet it won't be fun then

Thanks for your smart comments a little bit confused. I’ve decided to hold off on rushing it all and just want to enjoy my time with him when he arrives next week. If and only if things go well, then I will decide to have those important questions with him.

Thanks again