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Original poster

My ex posted my underwear back to mr

55 replies

Leogrrl · 30/01/2018 19:54

I haven’t posted here in years but something both horrific and laughable happened today and I would really love a bit of virtual handholding.

I had a messy break-up about a month ago with a guy who went back to his ex. He lives abroad and last time I was at his apartment I left a pretty underwear set behind (deliberately). I had also lent him some books.

Today I received a parcel (his handwriting, but no note) with my books - along with the underwear and another sex-related item.

The books I appreciate back but the underwear and the other stuff? Wouldn’t any sane person throw these away?! Or at least message to ask if I would really want them back?

I feel so upset and cheapened. The items were all stuffed in an old supermarket carrier bag which makes it even worse.

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 30/01/2018 19:56

Why did you (deliberately) leave them? Maybe he thought it was a cheap shot and so decided to do it back?

fourquenelles · 30/01/2018 19:57

What Littlechocola says.

Original poster
Leogrrl · 30/01/2018 19:57

At that time all was well and he indicated that he would like to have something of mine around when I was away (silly I guess but it was not like I “forgot them on purpose”).

OP posts:
AnchorDownDeepBreath · 30/01/2018 19:59

I suspect people will interpret your OP to mean that you left them deliberately to see if someone would find them; and that might colour comments.

Anyway; don't feel cheap. Just one of those things; nothing to get upset over Thanks

Original poster
Leogrrl · 30/01/2018 20:00

Oh, I see! No, it was nothing of that nature. Thank you for your kind response. :)

OP posts:
Littlechocola · 30/01/2018 20:03

Ahh. Don’t be upset, go out and buy some killer undies that he will never get to see.

Pleasebeafleabite · 30/01/2018 20:04

I’d be grateful I got them back tbh

Vitalogy · 30/01/2018 20:05

I think if he'd put a note in just saying that he'd thought you'd want these items back, no hard feelings or some such, would have been better.
Either way, I'd be glad to get my stuff back.
Sorry you're going through this tough time. Things will get better. Onward and upwards OP. Best wishes.

LemonSqueezy0 · 30/01/2018 20:09

Perhaps you were hoping for a message to reopen the lines of communication? Better not to keep the wound open longer than necessary...

The price I pay for my nice underwear sets, I'd be glad to have them back!

SandyY2K · 30/01/2018 20:15

Now the relationship is over...he's just returning your stuff. No need to feel cheap at all.

Original poster
Leogrrl · 30/01/2018 20:18

Thank you for the kind comments. I think I still feel pretty bruised after the break-up, and it’s actually the first time anyone has returned underwear to me - I suppose I associate it with all the intimacy and so on. Well, I’ll throw it away myself and buy something much nicer. A good idea!

OP posts:
Florallee · 30/01/2018 22:09

Yes, it's great you've got the books back. But to give you the underwear back is Hmm

Hope you're okay.

Crispbutty · 30/01/2018 22:13

Was it expensive underwear? If so and he knew that then it was maybe the reason he returned it rather than throwing it out.

Original poster
Leogrrl · 30/01/2018 23:26

It was expensive at the time of buying but he wouldn’t have known that, although I suppose it looked quite “nice”. Although (apologies if tmi) it had been worn while I was there! So, basically I opened the package to find a dirty pair of my own pants. Not exactly the delivery of a lifetime!

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 31/01/2018 00:06

Could it be that he got offended by you leaving him your dirty underwear? As you say, I opened the package to find a dirty pair of my own pants. Just wonder, no offence.

Somewhere I read a good advice not to leave your personal things at your boyfriend's place. If they want to see more of you let them marry you.

Original poster
Leogrrl · 31/01/2018 00:12

He was very definitely not offended by this at the time, no.

OP posts:
tygr · 31/01/2018 00:16

Surprised at people who just throw underwear away - you can wash it you know Confused

HellonHeels · 31/01/2018 00:21

Yes you can wash it but it won't wash the associated memories away. I can understand wanting to bin it.

Ladyglittersparkles83 · 31/01/2018 00:26

If their meaning is only expensive underwear put them in the wash and retrieve when you find a man who'd appreciate you in them, if they hold a painful memory etc bin them I wouldnt want to stumble upon them in my knicker drawer every time I grab a pair and longer over memories x

Vitalogy · 31/01/2018 03:59

I don't think most blokes would check for an item needing washing, be a case of bundling it all up and posting off.

ZacharyQuack · 31/01/2018 04:42

This reply has been deleted

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Angelf1sh · 31/01/2018 06:30

Why on earth would you feel cheapened because he returned your stuff? I seriously doubt he was making any kind of point and was just returning everything of yours. TBH I’d just be grateful. Most exs of mine would have just binned everything.

I also don’t understand binning them, you’ll still have the memories.

AuntieStella · 31/01/2018 06:33

Returning someone's property - whatever that property is and whatever the person thinks of it - is the only correct thing to do.

He didn't want to talk to you about it, he just wanted rid and has acted correctly.

Perhaps they were in a plastic bag because they needed washing. He probably didn't see himself as your laundrymaid.

GreenSeededGrape · 31/01/2018 06:37

Zach read the fucking thread Hmm

I get it OP. But as far as he sees it he's returning to his wife and can have nothing of you around.

Florallee · 31/01/2018 07:16

I get it OP. But as far as he sees it he's returning to his wife and can have nothing of you around

This.