Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Hate husband’s choice

57 replies

Peachorange · 30/01/2018 14:54

We decided together on a particular stroller, which we both liked. He went to buy it, it was unavailable at the time so he bought a completely different one (both are it the ‘expensive’ category of strollers). The one he got was one we’d considered but was my least favourite. It cannot be returned for refund/exchange due to the conditions of sale. I hate it! The look, colour etc are the opposite of the one we’d chosen together even though (he’s right) it has the same functions. Apart from this being our first baby, we are quite newly married. My question is, is asking him how open he’d be to selling this ugly one (probably for a loss) and starting again worth it? I don’t want to put him off making parenting decisions in the future but I can’t believe I’m stuck with this stroller when it could be such an exciting part of the getting ready for baby process.

OP posts:
BoredOnMatLeave · 30/01/2018 14:57

I would sell it but I'm sure you'll get loads of posts telling you to get on with it as it doesn't matter what it looks like. Assuming you are taking most of the maternity leave you'll be the one using it the most so needs to be something your happy with

Original poster
Peachorange · 30/01/2018 15:00

Thank you for understanding that superficial things can feel quite important!

OP posts:
Josuk · 30/01/2018 15:08

You can, of course ask him.
I’d also be honest and say - as irrational at it must sound to you, husband, it is for some reason rather important to me....
And maybe he’ll come to understand, even if not to agree.

I will, however - also mention to you that until you get the baby - all your choices are theoretical. And you won’t know whether the stroller that looked good to you when pregnant is actually the best one for the baby.
And - few years after the baby - you will barely remember why colour and look of the stroller mattered to you so much.

I wish you an easy delivery and an easy and healthy baby.
The most important things, really.

SandyY2K · 30/01/2018 17:19

Why didn't he consult you when the one you wanted was unavailable?

Anyway...I'd sell and get another one...but identify what you want first.

Midnightpony · 30/01/2018 17:20

I totally understand. It would irritate me every time I looked at it!

LineySt · 30/01/2018 17:29

He didn't ring you when the one he went for wasn't available? That's quite unusual - particularly as you selected a retailer that doesn't do refunds or exchanges.

What would you have done, the other way round?

thenightsky · 30/01/2018 17:31

Oh sell it. You are the one using it the most anyway. If you have to look at something you hate every day its going to get you down. He should have rung you and consulted you when the other one was no longer available.

GummyGoddess · 30/01/2018 17:37

I'd probably wait until baby is here and see if it's any better for you then. I got the pushchair and pram I really wanted, dc won't have it. He's been carried almost exclusively in a sling since a new born, I can count on one hand the number of times I've managed to get him into the pushchair and he's 16 months now.

TwitterQueen1 · 30/01/2018 18:03

I can't believe they won't exchange it... it wouldn't matter at all to the shop.

YANBU - I don't understand why your DH went ahead and bought a different one without consulting you. Very odd.

It would matter to me.

GlitterUnicornsAndAllThatJazz · 30/01/2018 18:37

I mean he probably thought its just a stroller....!

caringdenise009 · 30/01/2018 18:53

It's just a pram. There will be lots and lots of more difficult issues, I think you should just let it go. Perhaps ask him to consult you in future, but really. It's just a pram you will pass to someone else after a while.

SleepingStandingUp · 30/01/2018 19:28

If you can afford to throw money away then do so, tell DH that only you can make unilateral decisions about the baby and buy a new one that's prettier.

basketweaver2012 · 30/01/2018 20:09

Have you seen the shop receipt? I ask as I can’t imagine why a shop would have a no return policy?
Unless it’s not from where you agreed to get the stroller originally? And it’s knock off or a seconds.
Why didn’t he just go somewhere else or order it online in the shop?
Seems sus to me Confused

Original poster
Peachorange · 31/01/2018 10:39

He bought it while travelling overseas. It was on sale....

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 31/01/2018 10:47

So how did he get it home? I wouldn't be thrilled if my new pram and car seat had been chucked around the back of an airplane.

If he's bright it abroad to get it cheap it doesn't sound like you can afford to just replace it with another expensive one unless he's got another pram shopping trip planned.

Which country are you in op?

annielouise · 31/01/2018 11:09

Sell for as much as you can get and buy what you want. If you have more than one kid you'll use it for the next five years probably.

annielouise · 31/01/2018 11:10

Bit of an odd thing to buy abroad as you then have to pay for it as luggage which adds on to the cost and you can't take it back if faulty Confused

LineySt · 31/01/2018 12:09

Does it even have a warranty? Good luck flogging it.

OhCalamity · 31/01/2018 13:32

The baby might hate it. Ours did. Screamed blue murder if I even laid him down in it. In the end we got a second one that took the car seat as that's the only thing he was comfortable in.

When he got older we went back to the first one.

As well as that, until you have the practicalities of loading/unloading it at the car, juggling shopping/ wiggly baby and trying to unfold it one handed you won't get a proper feel for the buggy and how it suits you or not.

So don't go buying another one before the baby is born, wait and see.

FancyNewBeesly · 31/01/2018 16:25

My suggestion is don't do anything yet. We have twins and we spent ages comparing and deciding between the various suitable double buggies. The one I liked with the best features actually looked really cheap to me, but as it had the best features I went with it anyway. Many mums I know went with my other favourite - and they HATE IT. Then again, I don't love mine either.

I promise you, you won't care how it looks if it's easy to use and your baby will sleep in it. You will care if it's a pain in the arse when it comes to use it, which is what could happen if you buy another one that looks nicer.

You'll take a loss anyway so I say wait and try it out, then sell it if you still don't like it.

Thebluedog · 31/01/2018 16:28

These sorts of things are massively important until the baby is born. My mother bought us the most hideous Oran for my pfb and I was distraught, cried for days Grin in the grand scheme of things it didnt matter, but you only realise this once the time has passed.

Thebluedog · 31/01/2018 16:29

Oram = pram

Myheartbelongsto · 31/01/2018 18:00

Don't want to put him off making parenting decisions in the future...... I'm crying laughing

MrsBertBibby · 31/01/2018 18:19

I used my friend's travel system for my son. It minged so much (green/yellow check, wht was she thinking?! I still wish I had treated myself to a nice one.

My baby is now 14.

Ironically, I did get a brand new McLaren push chair and the same friend wrecked it first time out by snapping the hood strut thing. I cried so much, itwas the only new thing I had bought for him.

crazyhead · 31/01/2018 18:27

Is the pran your one area of super fussiness? If it is, and is that big a deal, sell it -we all have outlet things. If you are being fussy about all the baby stuff, remember if you want an equal partnership, you need to share these choices and there won’t be time to make all of them as a couple.