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Original poster

Hate husband’s choice

57 replies

Peachorange · 30/01/2018 14:54

We decided together on a particular stroller, which we both liked. He went to buy it, it was unavailable at the time so he bought a completely different one (both are it the ‘expensive’ category of strollers). The one he got was one we’d considered but was my least favourite. It cannot be returned for refund/exchange due to the conditions of sale. I hate it! The look, colour etc are the opposite of the one we’d chosen together even though (he’s right) it has the same functions. Apart from this being our first baby, we are quite newly married. My question is, is asking him how open he’d be to selling this ugly one (probably for a loss) and starting again worth it? I don’t want to put him off making parenting decisions in the future but I can’t believe I’m stuck with this stroller when it could be such an exciting part of the getting ready for baby process.

OP posts:
offside · 31/01/2018 18:45

I think YABU, it’s only aesthetically not pleasing but does everything the other Oran did.

As others have said who have been through this process, it’s only a peak, it doesn’t matter.

When we went shopping for ours I was ready to spend a fortune on one and my DH, rightly so, said no. We ended up getting an inexpensive one, that wasn’t attractive at all, but it has been amazing, and my friends who have bought the one I originally wanted, have not got much use of it at all.

We’ve only just got rid of ours and DD is 3.5, we used to take it on holiday with us and days out in case her little legs got tired and it was brilliant!

So yeah, wait until baby is here before doing anything. There really are better things to be spending your money on than expensive prams.

betterbemoreorganised · 31/01/2018 18:54

How would you feel about keeping it and using it as your second pram? I have a clean stroller that I keep in the car and use in town/shopping etc and a mucky one for dog walking it saves having to keep cleaning the stroller.
If you can afford it buy the one you want and mainly use that and just keep the other for muddy walks or leave it in his car and he can use it.

BrownTurkey · 31/01/2018 20:12

Honest question. If you had been in the same position and chosen your 'next best option', would you think he was reasonable if he rejected it? I would be inclined to think 'job done, good enough', otherwise it is like only your tastes/standards/choices are valid.

billybagpuss · 31/01/2018 20:16

Is it the 'pram' style for newborn baby, or the lighter 'pushchair' style for toddlers. If its the pram honestly just live with it and get something nice for later. I only used ours for quite a short time then it was always the pushchair which lasted years.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 31/01/2018 20:18

Ds now 3.4 had 6 pushchairs Blush.

Cricrichan · 31/01/2018 21:09

Try and sell it and see what you get offered and then decide if it's worth it. Did he pay less than he would have done if he'd bought it here?

I bought a super gorgeous pram for my first but was such a ball ache to put in the car and the car seat was complicated too that I ended up carrying him a lot and buying a cheap stroller which got used to death. I then got a cheap and basic travel system from mothercare which wasn't much to look at but was so light and easy to fold and open that it did my next three kids. Because it was cheap, I wasn't precious about it getting chucked in the boot or getting muddy etc and actually it lasted amazingly well!

Olisie3 · 31/01/2018 21:23

Deffinittely you should change it. You will walk with your baby every day for the next years, and believe me-colour will matter and bother you as it already does.
Talk to your husband. He should consult with you changes of already made decisions. That's how marriage works...

FancyNewBeesly · 01/02/2018 01:00

Huh. Maybe I'm being weird then because when I'm wrestling my very heavy buggy up and down a kerb, or swearing to myself as I can't get the bloody seats to recline, the last thing I care about is the colour.

In fact, after spending nearly a grand on this new buggy, a year of using it annoyed me so much that I paid £30 for a really beaten up old side by side which weighs nothing and opens up in 30 seconds.
Honestly, practicality trumps all- especiallu when you see your friends swearing similarly over their £1500 buggy!

sycamore54321 · 01/02/2018 01:09

I'm not normally one for seeking conspiracies but was it by any chance his own favourite that he chose? It seems a bit convenient that the shop didn't stick your one (expensive strollers are normally an order-in item anyway) and that there is no refund on the one you did end up with.

If he normally treats you as an equal and values and respects your opinion, that's ok, this is just a miscommunication about a stroller and you can sort it in whatever way makes most sense.

If he normally dominates all decisions and he wanted this one all along, I should think you likely have bigger problems.

If the colour is a big part of the problem, brands like Buggaboo or Uppa sell (at rip off prices) colour packs that allow you swap out the coloured fabric parts for another colour. It might be a solution for you?

MeAndMyDog · 01/02/2018 03:39

I don’t want to put him off making parenting decisions in the future

You really should put him off buying expensive things that can't be returned. That is quite a stupid thing for him to do. It is especially stupid when he already knows what you like and don't like, and then buys expensive things KNOWING YOU DON'T LIKE THEM that can't be returned.

Do you want him to continue to override your preferences for the next 30 years because he got a good deal?

(I agree that it is difficult to know what you really want in a pram until after baby is here and you've used the pram a bit).

frozenlake · 01/02/2018 03:53

I would probably keep it and then build the rest of your collection, the first pushchairs we got for our twins cost more than my first car, spent for ever choosing the set, hated it. We ended up with at least four types for different activities, although we had a clear favourite.

1forAll74 · 01/02/2018 04:17

omg, the baby will not know what make it is, not know what colour it is, just get real. so much nonsense about baby items these days.

Ilovecamping · 01/02/2018 06:41

I can’t believe it matters so much, he probably thought he was doing the right thing. There will more important times ahead. Just let it go.

NewImprovedNinja · 01/02/2018 07:06

I spent far too much money preparing for the baby and regretted it. Lots of stuff was only used once and then taken to an NCT nearly new sale. I bought an expensive all singing dancing prom/pushchair etc. but ended up buying a Phil &Teds buggy when he was about 5 months old as it suited my needs much better. What seems fantastic to you now, especially based on style/colour won't mean a thing when you're actually using it, if it's really not right for you.
My advice? Wait and see and be prepared to sell it only if it ends up causing issues using it.

LadyLoveYourWhat · 01/02/2018 16:59

An ugly pram? Who do you think cares about these things?

Dozer · 01/02/2018 17:05

Buying stuff isn’t a parenting decision.

He should apologise and yes, sell it at a loss if you wish. Purchases of costly items you will both use for your DC should be agreed jointly.

He was very unfair to you buying it, possibly knowing it was his favourite and not yours, and that he couldn’t return it even if faulty.

Dozer · 01/02/2018 17:06

That said I would probably just keep and use it unless its functionality was poor.

Lweji · 01/02/2018 17:11

Sorry, but, he bought a stroller overseas? Grin

I'm in the use it anyway camp.
I don't like to waste money because I didn't like the colour of a stroller.
At least give it a go first.

ferrier · 01/02/2018 17:12

I'm with you op. It's not about whether the baby likes it or whether other people care Hmm it's about you looking at it and other people looking at it and thinking that you chose it. I wouldn't wear something I didn't like and a pram is an extension of what I wear.

DeleteOrDecay · 01/02/2018 17:12

There's no harm in asking, he should have come back from the shop to talk about it with you rather than buy something else.

Honestly though, in 5 years time. It really won't matter what stroller you had.

ferrier · 01/02/2018 17:13

I'd buy a cheap stroller and not use the pram.

BewareOfDragons · 01/02/2018 17:16

Meh. Baby's going to dribble, spit up, vomit, wee and poo in it. Let him do it all on a colour you don't like, it's the least of your worries.. Grin

Offred · 01/02/2018 17:25

We you the main one behind the plan to buy the super special pram from abroad?

If so then I think you should suck it up TBH, or buy new covers... Because I’d be extremely Hmm if I had been sent to bring a pram back from abroad and my OH was being all dramatic about the colour.

Myddognearlyatethedeliveryman · 01/02/2018 17:34

Maybe we need a pic?

FancyNewBeesly · 01/02/2018 19:20

A pram is an extension of what I wear

What?! A pram is a device for getting my children around as simply, easily and comfortably as possible.

Sometimes I just can't even.

Maybe it's different because I have twins, but the only things that matter to me are whether it's light, easy to steer, can fit in the car and on the bus, and can fit down shop aisles and through doors. Perhaps people see me with the tatty second hand buggy I bought because it was infinitely better than the extortionate one I bought first, but frankly I couldn't give less of a crap! There's so much ridiculous consumerism around parenting these days, but "buggy as fashion accessory" is one of the more ridiculous.

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