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Original poster

What your Mother in Law like?

85 replies

charliecat · 28/07/2004 09:25

Having just started a thread about what your Mum was like I thought another good one would be whats your MIL like..they always make me laugh.
My MIL is a dirty filthy nasty witch.
For example her cats shit in the bath.
You cant see the colour of her carpets for the cat hair.
She continued to send dp details of jobs in Scotland for a good few months after we'd moved to England.
She rings round his single friends before he goes up on holiday hoping they will get him ratarsed and he will sleep around, therefore leaving me and the dds.
She shitstirs where ever possible and she still hasnt accepted that nearly 8 years and two daughters later we ARE together and he wont be going home.
I dont speak to her anymore BTW, I pass the phone over as quickly as possible.
Oh and she used to ring his mobile, not the house phone, as if he didnt live here FFS!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 28/07/2004 09:44

I get on really well with my MIL (and FIL). Always ahve done. They don't intefere and, even if they don't agree with the way we do things with DD, they never say so.

Hey, we are going on holiday in August with my parents, brother and sister. And in October we are going aaway with DH's parents.

I am really lucky as all our families get on well

bootsmonkey · 28/07/2004 09:51

My MIL is the sweetest, smallest little bird of a woman who looks like she would blow away in a puff of wind. She loves her grandaughter to bits as she thought she was done grandparenting tinies (SILs are 21 & 18), would never interfere and knits for England.

FIL is a racist bigot, but hey...

anorak · 28/07/2004 09:52

Oh charliecat, don't get me started. I've got work to do today.

My MIL is a bitter and twisted old misery who isn't happy unless everyone else experiences the same levels of hardship she imagines she has suffered in her time. For five years I cooked meals for her, treated her to holidays, spent ages assuring her that actually, I do love her son and don't plan to let him down, searched for lovely gifts for her and basically put her on a pedestal she didn't deserve, simply because my own mum is dead and I wanted a mum so much. Then one day I had the cheek to ask her for a little extra support because dh and I were going through all kinds of s**t. She then told me that she had never met anyone so self-pitying in her life, that dh was selfish (not true) that I am a rotten mother. She already has a daughter (another miserable cow) and that she doesn't want me - why should I need a mother at my age, I should just get on with it. And to cap it all off, she thinks I used to be in porn videos!!!

Evil minded old witch. Neither dh or I have anything to do with her and FIL any more and dh almost had a nervous breakdown over his feelings of loss. But we are just getting on with it . Wonder how she is feeling without all the gifts and holidays?

Northerner · 28/07/2004 09:57

I am lucky enough to have 2 MIL's Dh has a step mum to, and he lived with her and his Dad from being 8 yers old, only seeing his Mum every other weekend. So my step MIL, is on the whole very nice, they live in Spain for most of the year so don't see a great deal of them except through the summer and at christmas. She is very health concious, goes to the gym, play golf, is never caught sitting on the sofa eating choc and watching TV! She loves to cook and clean and keeps an immaculate house. She never has sweets or biscuits in her house and only givers her grandkids good wholesome food and snacks. She talks and talks and talks too much, which can grate on you a bit but she adores ds and is a wonderful granny.

Real MIL smokes like a chimney, drinks like a fish and swears like a trooper. She has terrible mood swings and gets wound up about the smallest of things. She's terrible with money, and always telling us all of her problems, but she is the life and soul of every party, tells great stories about her wild past and I have a real soft spot for her. And ds simply worships the ground she walks on. Sadly she was a crap Mother to dh and his brother.

Northerner · 28/07/2004 10:00

BTW my MIL and step MIL were best friends since they were 14 years old. Step MIL is God mother to my dh and his brother. But Step MIL had an affair with dh's dad (her best friends hubby)and the shit hit the fan. They've now been married for 26 years.

Makes for interesting family gatherings

blossom2 · 28/07/2004 10:02

I thought my MIL was harmless, until our wedding. She insisted on paying for half of my dress and therefore insisted that she attended a dress fitting (fair enough really), but then tried to change our menu just because FIl won't eat certain foods. Here comes the weird part..
we had our DD's childminder as guests, and she asked to have their address & telephone number, using the 'just in case of emergencies excuse'. MIL didn't tell me this but my childminder!!!!

I don't speak to her or FIL now but DH is taking DD to see them in a couple of weeks. They won't listen to anything i say anyway - it has to come from their son!!! it makes me so angry

marialuisa · 28/07/2004 10:16

We don't have any contact with ILs any more. It is a good thing as despite only meeting her 3 times she made me fel violent....I suspect most MNers would think she was ok though.

Thomcat · 28/07/2004 10:18

Oh dear to some of the MIL's! Blimey.
Mine's great. There when we need her. Is busy with her own life. A great cook, intelligent, funny and nice company.

Issymum · 28/07/2004 10:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Soulfly · 28/07/2004 14:56

What's a mother in law? We haven't spoken to our mil for over a year. She is a miserable,self pitying and bitter woman. DH when i first met him lived with her and my SIL too.They had 7 cats, stank and the cat litter trays would have made you sick. Anyway we moved out and we moved down to kent from suffolk, cause i was preggas and i wanted to be near my family. She didn't like that. Anyway i went up to suffolk when dd was 9 months, i was 3 months pregnant and had pushchair, bags etc etc, on a train all the way up to suffolk. Was nice to see her etc, acouple of days in, she made out she didn't have any money and so i ended up spending all my money for food etc, and after me having no money left, she got out a pot of pound coins totaling up to about £40. I was fuming. Anyway she moved down to kent so she could be nearer us etc. Not once did she visit unless someone drove her here, and we were like a 5 min train ride away. We moved to Ashford and we haven't had much contact since. But it was dh birthday monday and he got a card and inside was a letter from his mum, saying that she knew he didn't have any intrest in her etc etc and saying she sits all alone thinking of us. she could have written or phoned or even visited, but no. i gave up a long time ago!

daisy1999 · 28/07/2004 15:16

Girls careful what you say, one day we may be MIL

marthamoo · 28/07/2004 15:20

Anorak, you can't leave it at that! PLEASE explain why your MIL thinks you used to be in porn films!

anorak · 28/07/2004 15:20

I was nice as pie to my MIL for 5 years and only because she was such an unforgivable b*h did I say these things about her. If I ever treat anyone the way she did me I would deserve everything they might say about me.

sponge · 28/07/2004 15:21

Mine's great. I get on with her really well. She and FIL are both retired but have busy lives with golf etc, but they will always put themselves out if we need help with dd who they adore. However they never pass comment on or interfere with how we do things with her.
She's not a great cook but does make excellent puddings so I've learnt which bit of the meal to save myself for when we go round!
FIL can be very pedantic and therefore a bit of a boring old fart but has a heart of gold and is also brilliant with dd. Also very handy with his tools so can be useful when you need help around the house!

anorak · 28/07/2004 15:21

Post crossed, marthamoo.

Gosh, I thought I had bored everyone to death with that old story!

Fio2 · 28/07/2004 15:21

my MIL is dopey

marthamoo · 28/07/2004 15:22

I haven't heard it!

Canadianmom · 28/07/2004 15:25

Not as bad as charliecats MIL. Not as bad as my own mother. But BAD!!!

anorak · 28/07/2004 15:30

We discovered that my ex (father of my two dds) was running a business on the internet, websites with his girlfriend and himself shown doing stuff to each other, videos for sale, and a price list of stuff she was willing to do for her 'clients'.

We subsequently stopped dds going to their house (we only found out because dd1 told us - he had kind of let her find out on purpose when she was 11 ). Ex then took me to court to try and get more contact and cost us all our savings to defend it. Result - ex not allowed contact at all, we have no money left, dd1 long term depressed and stressed and at one time took an overdose. As I had broken my leg too we turned to MIL for support and all I got was a tirade of vicious abuse and the accusation that I must have known about ex's goings-on. FIL subjected me to a long period of very rude questioning about every detail of my relationship with ex, which I answered patiently until I couldn't take it any more, then I just turned to PIL and said, it's over, you will never see my face again.

I told dh I would wait for him outside and turned to go, but he said, no, I'm coming with you. And that was that. Now I am nursing dh through stress related illness because he feels as if both his parents have suddenly died.

Blackduck · 28/07/2004 15:31

dappy, but great....crawls around hotel receptions with ds whilst dp and I quietly get on with a glass of wine! Worries too much that she'll 'do something wrong' with ds (she brought up 3 of her own ffs! - but this is a result of her other dil who is a control freak...)...

libb · 28/07/2004 15:37

Mine are both lovely in their own ways, one lives half an hour away and one has come over from New Zealand for the summer (?).

The nearby one is very "glam" and everything in her house is either peach or gold and she has a perma tan, gripes about having no money but manages at least 3 holidays a year and is retired! Has very toxic perfume that makes DS very cranky. However, she means well and can captivate DS for ages with inane chatter - giving me a well earned break.

The other is cuddly, smells nice and subtle (), married to a self made millionaire, never says a word about it and adores/spoils DS like you can't imagine. I will cry when she goes back home because her love for DS is unbelievably contagious, and she really makes me realise how important these small moments together are. We plan to save hard to get over to New Zealand with DS as soon as we can as she is already getting pangs about going back home.

You wouldn't believe that they were married to the same man would you? FILs are something else!

Canadianmom · 28/07/2004 15:37

anorak, PLEASE tell us the story. (We promise not to be bored.) My MIL might be impressed if I had starred in porn films as I would suggest that I am not 'good for nothing'!

Northerner · 28/07/2004 15:40

Libb I wouldn't beleive that mine were married to the same man either. Strange isn't it?

anorak · 28/07/2004 15:40

I just posted a brief outline of 'that story' below.

Piffleoffagus · 28/07/2004 15:44

My MIL is adorable, warm, homely, curtain making frilly tablecloth, generous and a loveing grandmother.
My Fil is a joking rogue Irishman who is charming, intelligent and we adore him too.
I am so lucky, I actually waited to fully make up my mind about dh until I met his parents as in the past had been seriously scared...
WE also have MIL's mum alive and kicking, she is equally irascible but awesome, I love having extended family, esp when they are as nice as this!
Ps sorry about yours being so shit, how did she produce a son worth marrying btw?