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Original poster

What your Mother in Law like?

85 replies

charliecat · 28/07/2004 09:25

Having just started a thread about what your Mum was like I thought another good one would be whats your MIL like..they always make me laugh.
My MIL is a dirty filthy nasty witch.
For example her cats shit in the bath.
You cant see the colour of her carpets for the cat hair.
She continued to send dp details of jobs in Scotland for a good few months after we'd moved to England.
She rings round his single friends before he goes up on holiday hoping they will get him ratarsed and he will sleep around, therefore leaving me and the dds.
She shitstirs where ever possible and she still hasnt accepted that nearly 8 years and two daughters later we ARE together and he wont be going home.
I dont speak to her anymore BTW, I pass the phone over as quickly as possible.
Oh and she used to ring his mobile, not the house phone, as if he didnt live here FFS!

OP posts:
libb · 28/07/2004 15:49

I'm just glad it is the NZ mum that is DP's real mum, I think the "glam" mil suits his DF more now. Likewise for the NZ mil and her husband.

They are both lovely, but I have a soft spot for NZ mil. Anyone who gush relentless love over my child more than me is always going to score brownie points! I just feel sad that she will go home and miss all those milestones - thank god for webcams!

anorak · 28/07/2004 15:52

Lord knows piffle. He is too nice to be part of that family. Now he is having to deal with all his childhood damage .

hatmum · 28/07/2004 16:47

Fine pre-children and then we went through a rocky patch but now she is on-side and pretty fab. Excellent granny to my kids so good to be with. Fab cook too - always a bonus; makes visiting a holiday rather than a chore. And I'm busy realising from below just how lucky I am!

mummytosteven · 28/07/2004 17:11

MIL is slightly icily polite and a domestic goddess - the icy politeness i suspect being to do with the fact that I am not a domestic goddess. Our relationship has improved since I had DS (at least we have a common interest now!). I still feel sore at the ILs reaction to announcing our engagement - MIL after five minutes announces "congratulations" and that was that. FIL remained silent . PILs had talked DH out of getting engaged to me the year after we met (DH never told me this at the time, but pretended he didn't feel ready yet). In some ways I feel sorry for MIL - she doesn't drive, stuck in suburbia with poor public transport, has suffered panic attacks, and doesn't seem entirely happy. so could be better, could be worse

Angeliz · 28/07/2004 17:26

My InLwas all live in another country so we get on fine.

I can't remember what they said when we got engaged but we didn't see them for ages after. When we did i put my hand out and said,"D'ya like me ring?", so they had no choice but to say oh Congratulations really!!

emmatmg · 28/07/2004 17:31

Well, this could be my longest post EVER so I will try and keep it as short as possilbe by just giving you a few of her little gems.

Said to Dh when Ds1 was 5 weeks old " XXXXX is not my grandson and good luck to you if you think he's your son". This was said to him after she had hit me when I called the police to get her out of our flat and yes I was hold Ds1 at the time.

She's called me every name under the sun and is convinced I somehow co-ersed(sp?) her son into marriage and having a baby because of her wild imagination about my apparent sorrid past.

She is quite wealthy and has asked why my mum has got any money because of my Dads death!!!!!

Many many more but I think you get the picture. I copy and pasted this from another thread, it's the latest thing and will absolutley be the last as I've had it with her.

I pity DH for having such an awful mother and on sunday I told our boys(Ds1 mainly as he understands) that they are no longer allowed to call her Nana but have to call her by the actual name after she walked straight past us in the street with just a disgusted Hello. She hasn't seen them in about 6 months(she lives 120 miles away, thank god) so if that all they get then she doesn't deserve the honour of having them call her Nana. She's burnt her bridges now with the children and I hope I never have the misfortune of seeing her again. Stupid f*cking bitch, I hate her guts!!!

lou33 · 28/07/2004 18:26

Mine is permanently banned from having any contact with us or our kids ever again, and it feels great! Actually I should be celebrating as it's been about a year now . The relief is enormous.

Lisa78 · 28/07/2004 18:38

Same with my mum Lou - with you on this one babes!
My MIL is lovely - but a bit irritating...

mieow · 28/07/2004 18:47

My MIL is annoying. Yesterday we had bad news at Great Ormond Street, and of course we cried briefly, but she wants to have DS over the weekend, but she never has DD1 or DD2, she says its because she can't deal with them. So SIL said this morning to her, that its unfair and DD1 must understnad what is going on and wondering why she isn't allow to stay at her nanny but DS is, MIL started shouting at her daughter, and then SIL phoned me to let me know what had happened, half hour later MIL phoned me up, saying its was unfair for everyone to hate her because she CAN'T have DD1 and DD2, then she started crying because of the news we had yesterday and saying she hates not being able to help more etc etc...... Fair enough she has a disability but so does my dad and my parents are aways babysitting and having ALL my kids overnight, my parents even had them for 3 nights so we could go away for a dirty weekend!!
My mum was there at the drop of a hat yesterday when DH got ill and couldn't come to GOS with me, she came along and supported me.

MIL is always phoning us to have a cry and twist DH around her finger, she even started bitching about me once, over something that was nothing to do with me, DH put the phone down on her.

MIL found out that DH still sees his real dad about once every two years and started saying things like "you won't stop us seeing the kids will you??!!!" FFS!!!!!!!! SIL is renewing her wedding vows next month and DH has decided that as his real dad will be there, our kids will not be going as MIL will walk about holding our kids and rubbing her ex-husbands nose in it.

She is a sad old woman who needs to get a life and stop butting in our lifes.

mieow · 28/07/2004 18:54

and the sad thing is that DH thinks more of my parents than he does of his parents

sunchowder · 28/07/2004 19:29

My MIL is dead and I never met her. How's that for adding something worthwile to this thread? charliecat--so sorry for you. Anorak are you Janstar???

anorak · 28/07/2004 19:53

Hi sunchowder!

You recognise me from my history, I take it?

How are you? And where have you been hiding?

HelloMama · 28/07/2004 20:05

My MIL is pretty good on the whole... She is married to a chap 25 years younger than her (fair enough) and gets all her clothes from TopShop, New Look and H&M to look young and trendy. She is very glamorous. Usually she pulls it off, but sometimes it is a bit scary! The only thing is that she smokes about 40 a day which really bothers DH. Its difficult because she often has health complaints which are related to smoking and will ring me up to tell me about them (I'm a nurse) but will not hear of giving up or even cutting down so its a bit frustrating! We do get on well, but DH is still her little boy and if anything ever happened between us (God forbid) I would be cut from her family and I think she would be very nasty. My mum and dad however love DH to bits and said that if we ever split, he could go and live with them...!!!!!

FIL on the other hand, is very rich, suave (sp?) and funny, and is exactly what I expect DH to be like in 30 years time (perhaps not rich though, but we can hope...!). He is very busy with his own life, but very friendly whenever we go to stay (he wouldn't dream of coming to stay with us!). I like him very much.

HelloMama · 28/07/2004 20:08

Oh yes, I forgot to say that MIL has had the most colourful love-life which wouldn't be out of place in an episode of Jerry Springer (her own admission) and every time she gets drunk (quite often!) she'll tell me all the family gossip which makes for a brilliant night out! Feel a bit sorry for DH though, as often he hasn't heard the gossip before so we have had some interesting revelations whilst round at her house!

sunchowder · 28/07/2004 20:08

I am really well, thank you! These name changes are killing me...I was missing everyone too much to stay away. I just wanted to drop in, I was getting those missing "pangs". I am trying to finish up the first photo scrapbook for my SIL with the beautiful twins, working full time, and the kids have been home for the summer. We took a couple of trips--all is well and thanks so much for asking!

cuppy · 28/07/2004 20:12

Mine is an alcoholic, and wonders why we never visit. Always tries to cause arguments - dh says she is just being truthful and should respect her for it! Yet if I were to tell her what I truthfully think of her I would just be trying to cause arguments. I really really dislike that woman.

californiagirl · 28/07/2004 20:14

My MIL is quite sweet. Of course, she also lives on the other side of the planet. We have the occasional disagreement, but we are careful to avoid actually arguing about things like whether or not I should prevent my baby from sucking on her fingers (at 8 weeks!). We are spending a week in Brisbane with her (a compromise as I will not take a small baby to New Guinea) and I am only wary because DH is (he's afraid she'll try to give DD solids when he's not looking.)

FIL is basically OK, even if his first reaction to discovering I was pregnant was to tell DH it was his problem.

coppertop · 28/07/2004 20:16

My MIL is lovely. She always tells me how glad she is that dh met me and married me . She's only recently been in a position to get really involved with our ds's and she's really making up for lost time. She has only just heard that ds1 is autistic but has taken it all in her stride and really enjoys spending time with him and ds2. In contrast, my own family have known about ds1's autism for a while now but refuse to try to understand him. If he has a meltdown he's apparently just being naughty! I only wish that my MIL lived a little closer - a sentence you don't often see on MN!

Nimme · 28/07/2004 20:46

Nice enough - doesn't mean any harm but irritating and tactless at times.

Would be lovely if she was slightly younger and more of a hands on person. And less complaining of not seeeing DD enough - my mother lives in another country and only sees DD twice a year!! Really should be the other way around - sod's law that!

Worst (so far). When asking if we had thought of names for DD2-to-come we told not only had we thought of some names we had actually already decided. When telling her the name her first comment was "I don't like that name". Well nobody asked if you liked it

Cavy · 28/07/2004 20:50

MIL is a good person, really, but she is very old-fashioned and can't understand the importance of a women's career. Never mind that I supported the whole family all last year, and I am still better paid than DH, she just talks about the importance of DH's work, how he needs a good meal at the end of the day, he mustn't be taking too much time off for the kids or altering his routine to take them to school, he shouldn't have to do much around the house since I don't work full time plus am the woman, I obviously should do all things domestic or related to children. ARRRRGGGH!

Plus, MIL & FIL are completely welded to their routines and particular ways of doing things. MIL is always prattling on about not disturbing our child's "routine". She even thought DS1 should still go to school the morning DS2 was born -- "mustn't change his routine!" she said. She would entirely approve of Gina Ford, but I wouldn't dare ask them to alter any aspect of their routine to accomodate our baby's schedule...

MIL has 3 cats she's very fond of and won't leave alone at home for more than half an hour at a time. Also, MIL doesn't like to travel or go anywhere away from home, so she rarely visits us and then it's literally a case of her having to find a cat-sitter, first!

marthamoo · 28/07/2004 21:00

Thanks for that anorak/janstar - sorry for making you drag it all up again. I did know some of the details of the story, but hadn't really connected your ex's business with your relationship with your PIL. They sound utterly horrendous but it must be very hard for your dh. Many (((hugs))) for you all.

Crystaltips · 28/07/2004 21:26

My MIL is a total witch and if I had my say I'd have her hung drawn and quartered just for being on the planet.
I haven't seen the fat old cow for coming up to 2 years and I feel totally liberated.
She has been totally awful with DH and for that I will never forgive her.
The only trouble is - which still eats me up inside - is that I have not given her a piece of my mind - I have just blanked her phone calls. My friends and family say that I should not stoop to her level and that I should remain civil and have the moral upper hand .... only trouble is that I totally and utterly loathe her with a vengence and I really want her to know it ....

mmmmm - that blast made me feel marginally better!

emmatmg · 28/07/2004 21:51

Crytaltips, can I just say that giving her a piece of my mind does feel good and I only went down to her level to say/shout/scream/swear it and I am way, way, WAY above her now and will always be.

Not trying to encourage you, of course but it did feel good.

anorak · 28/07/2004 21:53

Thank you marthamoo xxx

princesspeahead · 28/07/2004 21:59

Truly wonderful. Masses of energy, still working at various jobs although in 70s, but willing to drop anything if any of her 11 grandchildren or 4 daughters in law need her. Always supportive, never judgmental, writes to me once a year to thank me for being such a nice wife to her baby boy and good mother to her youngest grandchildren!
Ahhhhhhh

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