Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Rose, we got a mention [wow]. I carry hand sanitiser everywhere and have a big bottle on my desk at work, trying to avoid the lurgy.

Flowers, that is heartbreaking, but he is, indeed a very smart and open little chap. My own DS (15) has never said anything directly, but did go through an anti-alcohol phase about a year ago. He does tend to be a very guarded lad, and doesn't like talking about his feelings though. He has grown up in an environment in which alcohol has been completely normalised at home with me and with my parents in France, but he does seem to look askance at some of his friends who drink to excess at parties.

Flowers you have my complete empathy and understanding. When my sister n was about ten or eleven and has a friend staying round, his friend asked him if I was an alcoholic. I felt horrible, really awful. Good for you now though for cutting down because he will have non drinking memories of his childhood, which will wipe out any others.

Sorry meant son not sister.

Ooh we did get a mention. I always forget anyone can see the thread 😊

I doubt very much all his early memories will be erased, but hopefully we can make new ones. He doesn't seem 'damaged', but he's clearly very aware and I just hope he's OK long term

sweet if he reacts the same way as your son - against alcohol - I think that would be no bad thing

How can I see the Claire Pooley interview please? I've read a couple of articles about her and would be really interested.

It's at the top of the MN Facebook page at the moment, Trying

Fingers crossed, Flowers

End of day 21. Night All.

Morning all. 3 weeks AF for me which is a record (apart from pregnancy)
Just wanted to say something about the effect on kids. Both of mine are grown up now in their late teens and twenties and I have a fantastic relationship with both of them. We go to the gym together, have nights out together, they are always inviting their friends over as we have always made their friends welcome from a young age. They have always known that I am a big drinker but more of a binge drinker and I do think back on occasion with feelings of guilt. I only started drinking really heavily when they were about 10 and 12 which was to do with working so hard during the week which meant a total blowout was “required” at weekends and holidays then has just carried on. However something my DS1 said last year was that he remembers the holidays when they were younger and we kept them out all hours whilst drinking with friends and he says they were great times and we always had excellent holidays which he will always remember. My DD says I am her role model as I have done so well in my career whilst bringing up two kids. Both my kids drink socially now but are nothing like me with the no “off” button. What I am trying to say is that drinking does not define you as a person. All the other great things that you do as a parent are also remembered and you just have to try and not beat yourself up over what has happened in the past. I just look at my kids and see how well they are doing and know I have done something right. Flowers be kind to yourself and try not to have regrets. X

Morning all trust great wisdom there. I don't have children so can't contribute to this at all.

Day 21/23 dawns. Managed to sleep through with the assistance of night nurse. Still feeling sub-par but at least I haven't not snotted as yet this morning.

I've had so little appetite this weekend that I hadn't even used up my WW weekly points. This never ever happens (well they usually go on beer). Ordered a pizza last night so at leats have eaten something.

I am definitely looking thinner all round - bones are starting to reappear. I like this lifestyle (minus the cold and the work stress)!

Such a relief that I have had no 'Sunday night feeling' for over three weeks now - it's worth not drinking for that alone. The anxiety was crippling.

Right better get up. Stay strong babes and . xxx

Morning all.

Trust that is good to hear.

Twattage hope the cold doesn't get you down too much.

I'm resenting my alarm clock, I had a long waking period in the night, followed by nightmares, and I've woken up with a bad taste in my mouth - might as well have been drinking . Oh well, I expect the fog will clear eventually. Busy day ahead, see you on the other side.

Morning everyone!

Day 24 here, I caught up on sleep over the weekend, which I’m very pleased about as this week is set to be very busy. A few nights in a hotel for work though which will be glorious - the neighbours’ child is still screaming and stamping. I suspect some kind of disorder, sadly, which means I’m going to have to plan to move (at huge expense). She’s five. I have every sympathy but earplugs and white noise don’t touch the noise, and I can’t handle being woken repeatedly most nights Oh for a rural cottage somewhere!

Sorry to hear you’re unwell Twattage I’ve been living in fear of getting the flu!

Oh and I weighed in this morning - despite daily exercise, calorie counting and no drinking, I’ve gained a bloody pound since NY

Trust thank you so much for that. It's lovely to hear you have such a great relationship with your children. I do also have two adult sons. I was a binge drinker throughout their childhoods. Split with their dad when they were 8 and 11 (still carry some guilt about that) and met DH a year or so later and have gradually drunk more and more often since - with a couple of gaps - pregnancy & bf etc. Although even then I did not stop entirely. .....by the time I started stopping (last year) I worked out I was on about 120 units a week!
Anyway, still have a lovely relationship with my older sons and neither of them drink much - but DS2 does smoke . I dunno, received wisdom is that harm will be done...

Anyway, enough mememe. Great to hear you're losing weight twattage! That's my next job. And sorry you're not feeling great sweet hope you feel better soon.

Have a lovely day all!
Today I will not be drinking!

I hope everyone who is poorly feels better soon. Twat don't worry, a LH flight will rid you of any remaining germsand pass them to everyone else in the cabin

I am still on my sofa at 9am which is very norty really. Something BIG AND HORRID has blown up at work and I just don't want to deal with it. It's a bit pathetic of me, but the person causing all the fuss is just being a drama llama and I am not sure I trust myself not to tell them to STFU.

Ah well, I shall head off soon and try to sort it out. I am actually starting to think this person is having some kind of MH episode so I should try to be a bit more sympathetic but it's hard when their actions are going to have a very negative impact on students.

I feel good today physically, no desire to drink last night. KOKO.

Flowers the joyous thing about being AF is that the crappy first thing in the morning feeling doesn't last . This morning I have walked into work along the river with the dog (I'll do photos tomorrow), so that's 7,000 steps before 9.30! I've answered emails, tidied my office after Doggo decided to defoliate a plant; hung two pictures (yes more) and finished off a lecture.

I might just go and have a lie down, if I wasn't expecting students for tutorials !

Oh and if anyone hasn't seen the Claire Pooley interview, she said we were the best thing on Mumsnet (twice) Go Gerald!

well, better start getting ready for BIG meeting here in London this afternoon. it has taken me 4 years to get the work I want to do to this point with the key people round the table. Am seriously terrified that now people are starting to take me seriously...am out of my depth. All very well being passionate and enthusiastic about something but at this level these people talk strategy, and outcomes, and objectives and....oh God.
Got to up my game, not be facetious, not swear.
Am going to wear the "new" wrap dress (£3.50 from ebay) which is rather low cut. This is definitely a meeting where getting my tits out could be helpful. Apologies to all feminists.

Go For it Ma for as long as I have known you on this forum, your work has been the thing that shines out as enthusing you. You know your stuff, you know it needs doing. Head up tits out. Knock 'em dead

Hope it goes well Ma. Like sweet says, your passion for your work shines through.

Evening all - thank you for the well wishes...I would love to say that I am full of boing on day 21 but I really do feel like shit!

The sneezing seems to have stopped and now my sinuses just hurt. Still feeling exhausted. As rothbury says though, there will be no contracting of a cold on the plane - I will be spreading my own lurgy far and wide!

Dragged myself into the office today as was supposed to be interviewing someone for a vacancy in my team, only the bloody girl didn't turn up, so in hindsight I could have worked from bed FFS. Tomorrow I have two interviews so can't get out of going on-site.

At least Weds I have a WFH home day and I'm going to put my OOO on at lunchtime so I can start to wind down / -go to hairdressers, waxing, mani, pedi-

Am soooo dehydrated today, my mouth is dryer than the devil's hoof. Am in bed already (as I say every friggin night) with PJs, laptop, and rooibos.

At least I'm all packed so all I need to do, even if I'm on auto-pilot, is get up Thursday morning, shower and leave. Even I can manage that!

Stay strong all. xxx

Oh well the strikethrough didn't work!

or did it

ma I hope your meeting went well - I am always a big fan of tits out as required. x

Evening All

Well the Big Horrid Thing has now been escalated to Principal to decide on, so I can take a back seat. I have a tendency to worry about things that are outside of my remit or control.

ma I really hope the tits worked. It sounds like you might suffer from Imposter Syndrome which is very common amongst women of high intelligence and capability I am always waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and quietly tell me I have been "found out" and should leave without a fuss ......

Twat I am sooo excited for you. I am sure you will be all better by Thursday and will have a fabulous time.

Day 22 almost done.

Hey all, thanks for the warm welcome.
Day 26 here, feels great! Still being boring and going to bed super early but I have health issues anyway and I should be taking it easy when I can. Not drinking means that I don't stay up to stupid o'clock anymore 😀
The lack of hangovers are a real revelation and I think it will take a while for the novelty to wear off! I still take 10/15 mins to get myself going but the mornings aren't a massive slog anymore and I just feel less burdened in general.
To those of you talking about the effect on your kids; this was something that was really starting to bother me. I was really ashamed of the amount of drinking that they were witnessing.
Mine are 14 and 16 and they have seen me very drunk on a number of occasions and hungover a shameful number of times. I just hope I can set a better example from now on hopefully I haven't left it too late