Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Baking-well done you! The lack of anxiety is strange and lovely, isn't it? I'm just waiting for my bubble to burst but I really hope it doesn't. I don't really miss drinking but have been going to bed super early and generally being a bit boring. Time will tell and I've yet to do a night out alcohol free. I've a wedding coming up so that will be interesting
Lolo-thankyou so much. Yes, I know what you mean. I've been kidding myself for years!

Welcome olive I have found this bus great full of wonderful babes and bears. I’m off to the cinema again this afternoon with DD1 to see The Greatest Showman, usually I’m feeling too awful to cross the door. Have a great day everyone x

half way to London. Got to go first class as work is paying and couple with baby and HUGE pushchair have just got on. Would get flamed as heartless harridan if posted this anywhere else on MN but am fucked off at having such luxury spoilt by bloody wailing baby!!!
Couple were asked to move buggy as guard had to get a man in a wheelchair in - cue much tutting and eye rolling and sighing. Getting a fucking travel buggy and fold it up you entitled twats!!

Morning all, old and new. This is a busy bus at the moment.

Day 13 here, my longest stretch for almost 30 years
Still feel a bit hungover, but hoping I’ll buck up next week. ‘D’H is away for a few days next week so looking forward to a bit of me time.

Oh Ma I’d be fucked off at a wailing baby too!

Ma I too would be fucked off with the wailing baby Maybe it'll go to sleep soon..

Well done on 13 days Slings

Hi Olive, marvellous to have you officially on board. The lack of anxiety is a huge plus.

With you ALL THE WAY Ma.

So, I went from glum and tearful yesterday to fucking furious this morning. Shouted at both DH and DS for being lazy, and expecting me to tell them things need doing (I have, every weekend for months) I just got to the bottom of the mental load well; it ran dry and I'm fairly certain that keeping that particular voice quiet is one of my triggers for drinking. So here's an example:

For context DH does the same job as me on the same grade, but for various organisational reasons his workload is a little lighter than mine. About twelve months ago, DH decided he didn't like the way I did laundry , so I should just do my own and he would do his separately. So far, so good, takes the pressure off you think. Except, DH can't be arsed to keep up with his laundry, there is a large laundry basket and three other piles (on very large) around the bedroom all of his stuff. I don't understand his 'system', but he only appears to wash from one pile, and at least of of the others has been there sine the FUCKING SUMMER.

I moved out of the bedroom before Christmas, the washing is now piling up on the bed as well. Our cleaner left in June (before this got so bad), and I haven't been able to replace her because upstairs is too awful to be cleaned. SO I'm stuck doing everything, because I appear to be the only one who notices anything needs doing.

Thing is, every other time I've given up booze for any period, I done the whole manic cleaning thing, but this time I am really resentful that my extra energy is being channelled into things that DS and DH should be doing. And now the chaos is really, really hurting. Don't get me wrong, I love DH, he is, in many ways a wonderful person, but bloody hell, this is pissing me off.

sweet that would be pissing me off too. i think the reason many of us drink is because of the mental load of doing everything for everyone. Last night dh brought some shite in from his car - it's like a mobile skip because he refuses to keep it clean - and one of the things was a thank you card from the dcs to some people in the vilage who had given them money for Christmas. I did EVERYTHING to organise and do Christmas. This was his one job. 3 weeks it has been kicking round his car and the envelope is now grubby and cant be given. We turn to drink to drown the ever burning resentment

Feel better now I've got that out.

I've hung three pictures today (something else only I appear to do, they were DH's pictures, but at least they're off the floor now).

Has anyone tried SeedLip (Spanna did I see you did)? Reviews seem to be really extreme, either love it or hate it.

That is so bloody annoying, Ma, what must those people think of your DCs too? Does he also do half jobs? Or leave the tools for the job out after it's done (I had to ignore three screw drivers on his end of the coffee table that he got out to change some batteries on Christmas lights at the beginning of Dec, until last week. I think they only got put away because he got fed up of having to swap them for treats when the dog stole them!

ma
YANBU!

Sweet that would piss me off too. TBH I'd be annoyed in the first place if someone criticised the way I did something I would hate clothes all around the bedroom though especially if it's all dirty, I'd get really annoyed....
ma I sympathise with you too - about the wailing baby when you were trying to relax and enjoy the luxury of first class. I also get your annoyance at the cards not being delivered.

Oops just realised I use the word annoyed a lot -maybe-that's-tellingly-me-something-

Dim me I really don't get how to cross out words

I always get grumpy around babies. hate the annoying little fuckers! hate my own at that stage too. god knows how they survived.

at my lovely warm,cosy, friendly hotel and really really really want a drink. Bought a bottle of tonic on the way here but it's not scratching the itch...

Re Seedlip
I've tried both. One (?94) is quite 'wintery' as it has a sense of cloves/cinnamon. Was given a bottle by drinkers who also enjoyed it.

The other is more 'summery'. Tried it at an Ivy Cafe where they serve both if you want to try before you buy. I predict Seedlip will be more available in restaurants/bars.

Both served with Fevertree Tonic.

Ma if it has a reasonable bar my go to cocktail is a virgin mojito. Usually hits the spot.

Eurgh well I spoke too soon on feeling better. Have horrible cold and been sneezing all day. Sent the husband out for another box of day / night nurse and am already in bed with pjs and tea.

I have two days in the office, one day WFH and then holiday thank fuck.

Day 20 almost complete and I should not be feeling this shit.

Night all. x

I love Seedlip (summer) and soda. Better than gin!

Hello babes and Welcome to new passengers.

I have had a banging headache again all day again which seems unfair.

ma and sweet YANBU!!! Have a lovely stay at the hotel ma. If you think you might get tempted later do you have a facepack or anything with you? If you put it on then you know you can't go back down to bar or order room service

I have another busy week ahead. It's summer soon right?

Ma I was going to say put your PJs on, take make up off and chill in your room drinking hot chocolate or whatever is provided and then you won't be tempted to go to the bar. Roth has a better idea with the face mask though.

Evening rothbury - sorry you have a bad head again. Hopefully we'll both be out of this crappage shortly. When I get back from hols I want to hear you're feeling amazing! xxx

My nine year old DS just complained that he likes dad better when he's drunk . DH has not even been grumpy or anything
Feel sad and guilty that drunk parents is his normal

Oh Flowers, . You are working hard to give him a new normal, it will get better.

Rothbury, sorry to tell you that we have a whole season and a half before we make it to summer . Hope your headache has improved.

Thanks everyone for the SeedLip feedback, I need to find somewhere that does it by the glass.

I've taken to drinking Becks Blue this weekend, I usually try to avoid because it upsets my stomach if I have more than one, but it's kept the WW away.

Evening everyone, sorry to hear so many people are coming down with stuff. So much going around, I am crossing my fingers that I avoid.

I watched the Mumsnet video interview with Claire Pooley (Mummy was a secret drinker blog), she gave the Bus and all you lovelies a mention a couple of times. She also mentioned Seedlip, not come across it before but will look out for it.

Had a horrible week with DS, really really struggled with him but had a better time over the weekend. I did drink in the evenings over the weekend but less than I would have done before, I am not feeling my usual self loathing. Onwards to the week.

Thanks Sweet we are trying, but it is all he has ever known. He asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was an alcoholic....smart boy....

I said I didn't think so...