Brave Babes Battle Bus: Next Stop Fabulous February

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer January so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Morning All.

Thank you all so much, Spanna Small, Trust, Baking, Blessed especially. Of course, a sober morning brings clarity. I was awful to my Mum in other ways I know. I think it all became a bit much because I had tried taking a step back, not losing my shit over the frequent calls from school, being encouraging and not interfering in any way over college choices (he almost opted for something that would have been difficult for me because of his father, but I was only ever encouraging), so I also started to self-analyse about not being a good enough, strict enough, persistent enough parent.
It feels a bit like I'm the boy in this story: Boy tries to train puppy by showing it YouTube Videos
Trying to do the right thing, but the damn boy/puppy won't read the book!

Anyway, Ma I hope last night went well.

Fox the C25k app is telling me it doesn't work with my version of IOS, but good going you; when I read that you'd never walk again, I imagined you skipping and running EVERYWHERE!

Baking, I hope your little mini-bake is better this morning.

Spanna I'm sure your message touched your friend's children because you are still treating her as a friend and a real person, and not the 'sainted deceased'. Laughter is important.

I'm not sure how I managed yesterday, I certainly wouldn't have done without support from the bus, but I kept a bottle of fizzy water in my hands, and kept playing the film to the end.

Trust, dog walk and Aqua for me!

Morning! I haven't posted in a while but do try and keep up with the thread. Sweet you're doing a grand job with your challenging DS, it's difficult ( I'm not there yet with mine but I was really challenging myself).
I'm doing ok, quite tired but ultimately a different person to last March when I decided to sort my shit out. Something I have started to do is to write a list of what needs to be done and ticking off when done. It is really helping with my anxiety. I used to think it was a really boring way to live and not rock n roll . Idiot.

Also trying to sort my money out and reduce the credit card debt.

Hope you all have a good day x

Sequins 'a boring way to live and not rock and roll' I used to think this too! Now my life is ruled by lists and routines and I budget. My biggest drain on my funds was drinking and smoking but I seem to have them far more controlled than ever before. The control has made me much happier and a lot less anxious.

Sweet I love Mini-bake as a nickname! He's a bit better. Had cereal and kept it down. He's a bit livelier than yesterday too. Not well enough for nursery though.

I am at day 40 today. I feel really pleased with myself. I haven't got a boing though. Think its the paranoia/fear I might get ill. I lost a weeks pay in December when DS was ill again so January pay was short. I can't really afford another short month.

Trust Is Requiem any good? I've recorded it but not watched any yet.

Hi sweet hope you enjoy aqua. I like it and think it’s a great workout especially if you have dodgy knees like me!
Hi baking yes I’m enjoying requiem. Only watched one episode so far but it did pull me in. I am very picky on the series I watch. If it doesn’t get me on the first day then I give up. Quite shallow I know but there are so many series to choose from now

Trust, it was a particularly tough one today, I like it because you can't tell how uncoordinated I am under the water

Sequins, lists are VERY Rock 'n' Roll - and so is my thoroughly 1980s filofax, I run my life by it! Getting debt under control is really empowering.

Baking, I've got my fingers crossed for you, they are such little germs monkeys, and always so generous with it!

DS came downstairs this morning carrying a 'sick bowl'. I suspect foul play, but not getting involved. He hasn't made any subsequent appearances.

Spanna so sorry to hear about your friend. 52 really is no age. The service sounds lovely though. How are you feeling today? Sending big hugs and

What is Requiem about Trust? I need a new series. Am thinking of starting Collateral next week on BBC as it has John Simm in it! I enjoyed Kiri recently with Sarah Lancashire but the ending was unsatisfactory - hoping that it will pave the way for a new series. Also wanted to punch the Lia Williams character in the face! There is something about the actress I just dislike. (you have made me feel guilty about housework by the way. My house is a tip. I just really, really hate domestic stuff!!!)

Well done on day 40 Baking. Glad Mini-Bake is a bit better. And Sequins I love a list! Love them! And Bee - day 87 is amazing!!! Drama did you have your bath and manicure session? Are you the proud owner of lovely talons now? ? And Fox well done on your C25K. I want to start running again but right now it is WAY too cold outside for me! Maybe a treadmill plod...

Sweet hope you are feeling a bit cheerier today. Teenagers are a struggle. I am sure your DS will come round and start speaking to you soon. It really isn't you that has done anything wrong. He is feeling annoyed with himself and externalising it, I am guessing. Having said that, I am no expert. Not in the same league, but I am a bit disappointed with DS at the moment as he is now being so disorganised about University open days. Didn't want me to go , then changed his mind about the ones his mates weren't going to and asked me to come, but by then I had booked up work commitments and expensive theatre tickets with a friend on the day we should have gone to the furthest distance one (like, next week!). Am sad but trying to hide it. He is hopeless. My friends with daughters have all been so involved in their journeys but I have just been on hand for the boring bits like helping fill in forms and paying for travel tickets! Trying not to feel unloved, he is a great son in many ways. Hope you enjoy your Aqua session today too

Thank you to everyone who helped with my AIBU! (and a lovely bonus to see Venus pop up again!) I have cancelled. Did it in a cowardly way and feigned illness. You are all right, I would not have gained anything from it, it would just have added to my stress. Also have to work again this weekend and would have no time for anything necessary like food shopping if I took a day out.

Ma - yes, pretty addicted to the gym, in that if I miss a day I feel guilty. But it is also my downtime as although I find it stressful to make the time to go, I always feel better and happier when I come out. And am now at my lowest weight for many years which also makes me happier.

Yesterday during a training session some woman wandered over and asked my PT if I was a professional boxer. Which I found a) odd - I am a middle-aged mother FFS, also I was there right in front of her and being talked about like I was deaf and mute b) partly flattering as I must at least look like I am fit and slightly co-ordinated but also c) very worrying indeed (do I look like a man???) There are some really, really odd people in there with no manners. I might start an AIBU (am I being unreasonable to think I don't look like a man?).

Anyway how did your dinner go Ma?? And your speech? Your co-speaker sounds amazing. Must be inspirational to spend time with people like that every day. Though it would make me ashamed of all the trivial nonsense that goes on in my head all the time, definitely. And talking of nonsense, how is gambling wanker? Any signs of him growing up and behaving like an adult yet?

Sorry if I have missed anyone out. An urgent email just popped in signalling the end of my lunch hour. My head feels like it is going to explode. Roll on Saturday... (the bits when I am not working)

Hope, I think that is a good choice for you. I don't think weird gym woman thought you looked manly, just coordinated and fit!

hi all. Full of lurgy so pretty much collapsed when i got in last night. Slept until 11.30 this morning! physcially and mentally exhausted.
My bit last night was crap as i forgot half the things i had intended to say despite notes. Co-speaker was his usual delightful, humble, inspiring and genuinely wonderful self. Went down a storm. As you say, makes you feel guilty about complaining about things...
don't ask about gambling wanker. he things its all fine because he's sorry and "stopped now". i want a divorce.

Poor you, Ma. Look after yourself today, nice tea, early night, good book.

The thing about GW, is that he thinks it's just that one thing and if he can fix that ('cause it is that easy ) everything will be peachy, ie back to normal for him. It's not the same for you, there have been years of carrying him, of shouldering the entire burden of family life, of feeling unsupported. You don't have to accept his version of the future.

So you were all right.

A humble, apologetic grotbag of a teen just emerged from his pit and had a nice conversation with me.

I do not need wine to celebrate

Sweet just keep watching that film to the end babe x

Yay Sweet really happy for you. They do have moments when you can remember the child they were and glimpse the less infuriating adult they will become .

Ma does GW know you want a divorce? And how is the vegan thing going? Holler if you want cheap and easy vegan recipes. I have a good few.

hope we still have to have the big conversation....waiting until i have all the legal advice I need.
sweet glad your teen came out of his strop. My big lump of a lad has just plonked himself on the bed next to me to show me all 31 slides in his sound technology project...hopefully I said the right thing.

Ma, I think he was actually quite ashamed of himself. It's lovely, when they are enthusiastic about something, isn't it?

Quiet on the bus tonight. I hope everyone is having a good Sober Friday, or keeping to their moderating rules.

Hello all,
Have had a bit of a traumatic day with a plumbing emergency and a wanker husband who took to his bed because he had a cold. So have had 2 glasses of wine but poured the rest of the bottle down the sink.

On a happier note, I love it when those lumpy teenage boys are just gorgeous. I remember going to a family friends party with 2 of mine, they were 14 and 17. We walked along the station platform, me in the middle of these 6 foot boys, they looked at each other over my head and patted me. Lovely memory.

Morning All,

Slings, what is it with men and colds? Or house is an embryonic plumbing disaster (I've only showered in the gym since Christmas, we have one radiator with three separate bowls under it to catch the drips) I dread it all going pffff, but finding a plumber with a good rep and a gap in their schedule is a nightmare. Hope you've got it under control - and well done for pouring away the rest of the bottle.

And yes, when teenage boys are nice, they are very very nice, I just worry about DSs ability to self-sabotage and put himself in danger.

Anyway, woke up naturally at 7.40 after a good night - has anyone else discovered the sleep recording function on the DJ app? wish I'd spotted it from day one, you can say how your sleep was and your mood after.

Dog walk now, then Pilates and I'm going to try running for half an hour afterwards.

GW(gamblingwanker) is now on his second version of this virus, and much as I hate to admit it, he is really quite ill. I am hoping its TB and will finish him off. I also have it but mine is a cold.
Today all 4 of my siblings are home from around the world at the same time. hasn't happened in years so looking forward to a lot of catching up and banter. The youngest will be 50 this month!

Hope You do get plenty of odd ones among the general public. I think she thought you looked co-ordinated and fit as opposed to manly.

Glad DS has come around Sweet

Well done on tipping the rest of the bottle Slings

Hope you're feeling a bit better today Ma

Mini bake requested and ate a cooked breakfast this morning. He's much chirpier. We've been invited to soft play but I've declined cos I don't think he's up to that yet. Not sure what we'll do instead as it's wet and grey here today.

I finished my book last night. It was really good. By Lisa Jewell. Definately going to see if I can get more by her. I'm really into reading since going AF. It's really hard for me choosing what to do with my evenings now with all my new found hobbies!

Ma, I hope the 'demented gang' have a lovely catch-up.

Baking, there are books I read last year that I need to re-read because I was too sozzled to have any great memory of them . Role on Easter.

I am sitting on my hands at the moment, I keep thinking about a glass of wine. It's just boredom, I know it will go away. Today is day 40 (I think) I don't have any real desire to go back to day one.

sweet horrible how the thought just pops in for no rhyme or reason. So glad that son has come to his senses.

ma enjoy the demented gang (love that!) gathering.

baking enjoy your reading. I’ve discovered the joy of sober reading too, it’s a revelation to remember what ive read the following day!

Plumbing crisis sorted, it was the washing machine waste leaking badly. I did try to fix it myself but couldn’t manage and WH (wanker husband) couldn’t rise from his sickbed to help me. Got a local plumber, recommended by a local hardware shop.

WH’s cold continues, I have it too but obviously not as bad as him, as I’ve managed not to spend 2 days in bed. He asked me this morning if I thought he had pneumonia - “I bloody hope so” I said in my head.

Slept badly after last nights wine, also felt fuzzy headed this morning, so back to AF today. Makes me wonder how I managed to neck 2 bottles a night when now, 2 glasses floors me!

Hello everyone I am still here! Just been manic at work recently, plus have been dealing with DS17 A level angst which has reached epic proportions

I am feeling good. Need to dye my hair and do my nails tomorrow, a bit of self care is really good for me mentally.

I am desperate to book a holiday but can't until I sell my house this year.

I mean cries about not having a holiday - am very happy about selling house

Glad the plumbings sorted Slings Good you managed to get someone out so quickly.

Don't do it Sweet! I really fancy cans tonight. I should've bought the Becks blue when I was out earlier. Instead I've had to have a bath and put my pjs on at 5pm.

Rothbury Is the house already on the market or is that still to be done? I've booked a holiday for Easter. In the UK though so not anywhere fancy.