If you're male and your female friend......

[unrequitedme]

Admitted to fancying the pants off you would it kill the friendship?

Or have you been a friend with the opposite sex and it developed into more, if so who made the move? Are there signals that your friend might like you as more than a friend?

Obviously I'm in this situation just now and so far my plan is just to carry on as normal and if something's going to happen then it will. I keep thinking these feelings come and go but then I see him and giddy as anything and it's pretty clear to me that I do have more than just friendship feelings. Its a bit hard to keep blocking it out and just carry on, what do I do?

Tell him. There’s no point in making yourself miserable by doing nothing. Don’t declare your undying love or anything, just say you thought it might be fun to go to dinner and see what he says! I did it once, it wasn’t reciprocated but we’re still friends. Good luck!

I'm single yes, his status I'm not too sure anymore which I find strange. He started seeing someone just over a month ago but never mentions her, ever! So obviously if he is still with her I would never say anything I shouldn't. Even if he isn't I don't think I've got the guts to say anything. I think I'll randomly bring her up in conversation, ask how it's going. He is very flirty but he might just be like that with everyone. Cuddles me a lot, I never want those cuddles to end, saddo! We literally talk about anything and everything, serious life stuff and non serious stuff, which is why I find it strange he doesn't mention his potential gf, a lot of banter, in the middle of a message he randomly wrote xx love you xx which I just kinda didn't acknowledge as I didn't know how to take it. Obviously if I didn't feel this way I would just take it as he loves me as a friend

I don't think I could take that rejection to be honest, in a way I prefer not knowing and living with the fantasy

Erm. I would first find out for sure if he was single . If he is then arrange to go out and get drunk and make a move on him. If he doesn't respond then you can put it down to drunken silliness.

Going from friends to lovers (and back again!) has been my life's specialty.

I don't think we've ever had that conversation though, it's always been a look one night, or a hug that has evolved into something else. They've always been single and I've know that though.

If you spend more and more time when it's just the two of you, rather than amongst a group, that's usually a sign. Plus long phone calls and talking through the night. I would caution that I still have that now with friends who have been boyfriends and then back to friends again.

I married my male best friend of 10 years, still happily so I like to think we’re proof that it can work
I would find out for sure that he is single though.

Me and dh were best mates for 7 years before he made a move. I’d never done it as I didn’t see him like that but I certainly did after as I never went home after that! 😂

23 years later and we’re still happy 😁

Well there's definitely very long phone calls and talking through the night, even a message in the morning can end up hour long conversation back and forth. I like that idea of actually not having a talk about it and just seeing if something evolves, spares me the fucking embarrassment of being rejected if he doesn't find me attractive. Yeh I think I'll play it encounter at a time, there's normally more than just us but we always end up paired up chatting but still too busy. He said he's coming to something I'll be at this weekend, so I'll see if he turns up

Oh they are lovely success stories 😁😁 a bit scary as I'm not long out a serious relationship hence the reason I am happy to hold back a bit!

Oh yeah and the evolved hug thing, I found myself running my hand down his back during a hug 😳 it just felt so natural! I honestly feel fire works when he hugs me, can that really all be one sided??

I'm trying to distract myself by being open to potential dating but so far the men are not falling at my feet 😂

Anyone else ??

IME friends are friends and lovers are lovers and never the twain shall meet... if a long-standing female friend expressed a romantic interest in me it would feel a bit weird to be honest. That said, life is all about taking risks and chances...

Well I've been seeing a guy for about a month and he has a female best friend but I don't think he's spoken about me that much, even though we're getting serious.

I would be very cautious but if things evolve then they do. I don't think you need to tell him your feelings, because to be honest if he wants you he will go for you.

But if he doesn't and is seeing someone else, I hope you'll be respectful of that and not continue flirting/cuddling. Not very nice for the other person.

I can imagine it definitely would sting, I'm sorry you experienced that. I think that is enough for me to stick to what I'm doing, acknowledge the feelings but not act on them. I suppose if he does like me that way then he'll let me know and in the mean time I think I need to get out there and date!

Definitely date - I wonder what his reaction would be if you mentioned you had been set up with someone. Because that would show a lot.

It can work. DH was my male best friend for 10 years before we kissed. And when we did it was like the stars aligned.

I don't flirt with him, he is flirty with me but I'd never not cuddle him just because he has a girlfriend?! I am very respectful in that manner as I wouldn't like it if the shoe was on the other foot. At the end of the day I never want to loose his friendship and I want him to be happy, and if he is with someone then I'd eventually like to get to know her also. I can accept the fact that it might never happen it's just the not knowing that's a bit difficult

That's a good point about gauging reaction actually, although I can probably guess he'd question if I was ready for that just now

It it turned out that yes, he had still been seeing this girlfriend but simply never mentioned her at all to you and cuddled you lots etc, would you not lose respect for him a bit? I would. I wouldn't want to get romantic with someone who could whitewash a GF out of the picture so totally, sounds like is he IS seeing her, he's completely compartmentalising. Which would just make me think he would do the same again to me if we were dating. But then I'm a bitter cynical witch, so possibly ignore me.

No I am definitely feeling that actually, if he is seeing her and not mentioning her I find it strange, almost like he's trying to keep us apart for some reason which doesn't scream innocence to me. If that's the case then it will probably change how I feel. I think the next time we speak I'm definitely going to slip it into conversation some how

I'm in the same dilemma! Male friend for about a year now. Our kids play and they're in and out of each other's house. I'm separated. He's single...I thought. But apparently heard has a gf but hasn't told me. I've tried to get him to say but he won't go there. Lots of really caring messages, xx and 😘 and makes an effort in responding and saying nice things. Also been out ...all of us to London and swimming with the kids....not alone. Maybe I'm reading more into it. If I was his gf I wouldn't like that he sends messages like that or spends that kinda time. The mystery gf is certainly a mystery - secret even. I'm not sure if he a) likes me 2) is just being caring and doesn't say so not to hurt me and ruin our friendship 3) likes the attention and I'm totally wrong about him.