Am being snippy to dh. I KNOW I am being unreasonable: kick up the arse needed .

[Enid]

He has been away in the states for a week. I need to stop being so resentful and miserable, and to quash the urge to say 'DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE!' when he asks me to do his packed lunch. I said 'no' instead and then immediately felt guilty and made it anyway.

I have three children (7, 4 and 1 ), I work part-time in dh's business (stressful).

His job is hard and stressful atm but I can't help feeling that the spa and 42" plasma screen in his lovely hotel room must have helped a bit with that

anyway we have friends coming to stay this weekend so I need a crash-course in how to be loving supportive wife.

is he a loving and supportive dh?

if so grit your teeth and get on with it. If not just go out all weekend and leave him with the kids...

yes he is

well he is not a gusher

but he is erally

he is loving and supportive [bleurgh]

no he brought me nothing

but told me at l ength about his vast shopping spree in banana republic and ambercrombie and fitch

I work for dh now

tis a bit of a skive tbh

yes maybe that is at the root of it

didnt realise I was so materialistic

have stupid marketing related position

actually have done quite well with press releases and things [dumb]

he runs a manufacturing biz

no he wil not go out for me and I cannot tell him to do that

I am just going to have to get pissed tonight arent I - afeared I will then have a go at him in front of mates

I would book yourself a massage or something for tonight and leave him to do bedtime, say that you need a bit of me time

The resentment will vanish as you relax

Then come home and have a bottle of wine with dh and relax a bit (if he is not frothing at the mouth from bedtime)

Coming at it from the other side (having done a number of business trips since having dd) I find it stressful and horrible being away, it is nice for a night when you can relax and pamper yourself, then I just spend the rest of the time wishing I was home so the grass is not always greener...

Agree he should have bought you a pressie

Can you not have a word with him quickly before guests arrive and just say, I know I shouldn't but I have been resentful so please do not say anything to wond me up tonight or it is all likely to come piling out and that will be highly embarrassing infront of said guests

Ah friends coming tonight
massage no good then

wond ? wind

that sounds great [wistful]

we have friends arriving at 8pm though and I have to cook for them

Have you told him straight 'what your life is like' and that it would have been nice to have featured in his thoughts whilst he was on his shopping spree? I know my dp sometimes needs it spelt out for him and I do believe is genuinely shocked when it dawns on him he was wrong.

well, can you get a massage this pm?

I know it'#s not so easy in the cuntry

I CANT tell hiim to go and buy me something

god no way!

maybe I cuold jokingly but not seriously

Or could you rather than screaming DO YOU KNOW WHAT MY LIFE IS LIKE say to him

Ooh I really really missed you when you were away, makes me realise how much I love you, next time could you try and go for a shorter time? (have bucket handy in case either of you voms)

Then he will feel all nice and say ooh I missed you to then you will fall into bed and have fabulous sex...
(clean teeth first if either of you does actually vom)

OK - breakdown of convo yesterday at dd3's 1st birthday tea

Enid (talking privately to dh): I had a lovely day today with dd3, we went shopping and swimming then she had a sleep and because the other dds were at school I read my book for an hour!

Dh (snippily): Bloody hell we'll have to find some more stuff for you to do

Enid: Thanks a lot! thats the first time I have sat and read a book in the day for about 2 years! Oh and by the way, are you enjoying the HOMEMADE cakes and other birthday tea food? Oh and have you seen dd3 playing with her PRESENTS?