I ended my affair and now I’m sad.

[LadyCafe]

I posted about a week of or so ago. I’ve been talking to a man for 2 months. We saw eachother 3x. The next step was to sleep together and I couldn’t do it even though I really wanted to. Now I’m thinking, did I make a mistake? He was really upset and told me to text soon if possible.

He also said he’ll be looking for a new affair partner. I didn’t tell him but I felt a pang of jealousy! What is wrong with me?

I know this all sounds terrible.

Feeling sad is not the end of the world, it's just a feeling, it will pass.

If you need to leave your relationship then concentrate on that.

WTF is an affair partner and I think that statement alone tells you everything you need to know.
I get how exciting the whole set up can be but these things usually end in tears. Fix your home life or leave before someone really gets hurts and that is likely to be you.

You did the right thing, don't be someone's piece of meat, you are worth more.
If you are in an unhappy relationship/marriage, make plans to move on/leave.
If you are single, there will be someone out there for you, keep looking, he who seeks, finds !
You'll get over this chap in no time, keep busy, and be kind to yourself.

He sounds like an arse - looking for a new affair partner???!?! You've had a lucky escape, good on you.
Maybe it's a good time to work out what need you were looking to meet with this affair. Is there work you can do on your relationship (or to leave it)? Or on yourself? In the really short term could something like a massage help you get some of the reward and physical contact you need without him, while you sort out your feelings?

Well you meant nothing to him hence him saying “I’ll just look for another affair partner” you were just a potential hole to him, I wouldn’t lose much sleep over it!

At least this way you can keep some self respect inside of being his hole on the side

What he said about finding a new partner was intended to make you jealous and hurt you, by telling you how replaceable you are. The man is manipulative and cruel.

Get some counselling and figure out what to do about the relationship you're in.

You’re all right. I don’t want to leave my marriage! I love my husband but got caught up in the excitement of it all. I’m an idiot.

This man was exciting and new. Different from my DH. Plus he’s very good-looking.

I feel shame, embarrassment and sadness. I can’t tell anyone about this in real life so I’m on here.

This man seems so confident. That he’ll never get caught. He said he needs an escape and wants to have an affair. I thought too this all could work out perfectly. :/

He also said he’ll be looking for a new affair partner.

Well there you go then, he just wants a shag and anyone will do. You’re well out of it.

Do you think he said that to hurt me? About finding another partner?

Your affair? Are you already with someone? You will just have to forget about him and if you do have DP then you better hope he does not find out.

Work out perfectly! OMFG, I feel sorry for your poor husband after reading that.

He sounds like a complete dick...and so do you, quite frankly. Come on! Get a grip. Your husband deserves better.

You're attracted to someone who plans to dip his dick into anyone going, despite promising to remain faithful to someone else?!! How is that an attractive trait? Grim as fuck.

Ffs.

1. you’ve known him for two months and have barely done anything. You’re feelings for him are minimal at best and you’re being a drama queen.

2. he doesn’t give a shit about you as a person, he just want someone to have sex with who isn’t his wife. Have some self-respect and don’t even consider contacting him again.

3. if you really care about your husband, why the duck are you trying to have an affair? Spend some time working in your relationship instead of worrying about a casual shag that never even happened.

He also said he’ll be looking for a new affair partner

You knew you would be his third and you would never be his last.
Please have some more self respect and invest yourself in your marriage and children.

I thought too this all could work out perfectly
Are you for real?! Think of your children if nothing else.

In the kindest way possible. No he probably didn't make the statement about looking for a new partner to 'hurt you'. No doubt he will be actively seeking someone else to fill his perceived need 'an escape'. Well done for extracting yourself from the situation. Perhaps an opportunity to explore why you were drawn to the idea of an affair, what is currently missing for you/ from your own relationship and what can be done to work on it. All the best.

well done, you stopped at the right point.
it would be too much pain for you and devastate your life.

WOW... Although yes feeling sad is normal... What type of affairs did you have? Was it always discussed it was supposed to be no strings fun?

This couldn't sound any more like goading if the OP tried.

I feel shame, embarrassment and sadness. I can’t tell anyone about this in real life so I’m on here

So? If you love your husband and you have committed to a monogamous relationship then all those emotions are perfectly valid. Suck it up.

He's going to find a new affair partner. What the heck. You dodged a bullet love, he's just using women to get what he wants.

I'd think about your marriage and why you had the affair to begin with, not regret shagging your OM.

I know this all sounds awful. Once I was “in it” I was completed blinded. So yes, I’m my mind, I thought this could work out. Meaning I can have my cake and eat it too. This is what he was thinking as well.

This would have been my first affair. I didn’t do it.

Your husband deserves better

Ewww

Oh, give over.

Your “first” affair? Oh well that makes it alright then

I'm not sure what I'm more surprised at?
The brass neck of the OP for moaning about being hurt after cheating on her husband or the PP's who are saying she has "dodged a bullet"... OP IS THE BULLET. What an absolute mess.