Please no bashing I do not need told that I'm an idiot or anything but here goes.
Ive been with my husband 10 years have 2 kids (one just a new baby)
When I bought this place before I had the baby my husband sold his house and put the money down as a deposit for this house. I mortgaged the rest in my name.
When I lived with him I didn't pay towards mortgage as he stated if ever broke up I wouldn't get half (he has 2 other kids to his ex) it would be their inheritance. And also our daughter of course.
So I paid half the household bills, food etc etc pretty 50/50.
Since I got this place we agreed he would not pay towards the mortgage as he had technically paid half the house already so in which case it would be split 50/50 should we split up and said I could live in the house with the kids. Just split if it was ever sold.
Any way he doesn't pay a penny towards anything though. He works 2 nights a week does get money not a lot but I never see a penny of this. Doesn't pay towards bills, food, doesn't contribute towards the kids I buy anything they need, I pay days out, food, clothes, Christmas, birthdays everything. Before he would split bills but I was still left to pay for anything kids needs.
He claims the child benefits for the kids but doesn't pay a penny of it for anything they need.
We agreed before baby came this was ok him getting the child benefit for my daughter as I worked full time and he looked after her while I worked.
But now I'm on mat leave and I'm here looking after the children, he barely does a thing. Before I was earning a good wage so it wasn't really an issue (I'm not money orientated at all) but I'm struggling now on smp.
I told him I had to cut back and one thing would be he would need to pay his own gym membership and he just got angry.
Said he wasn't willing for me to go back to work early as he couldn't sit in the house with a baby all day. He just goes out exercising all the time. Is barely ever home and when he is does nothing.
Moans he is tired all the time and baby keeps him up yet he sleeps through it all the time. Does get up with him in the morning and also takes our daughter to school but moans about it and says he can't get dd ready when baby is crying. (I manage it no problem)
He knows I hate confrontation and I always give in for an easy life. How can I not stick up for myself. (I have a management job and do well at that but in my home life I seem to let family and friends walk all over me.
I'm just living everyday resenting him and feeling quite depressed. Snapping at him and making comments at him.
Leaving him is not really an option. I couldn't do that to my children especially my daughter she adores him and her hole existence relies on our stability.
Also I did ask him to leave a few weeks ago as I had had enough and he said I could sell the house and give him half the money back which he promised he would never do.
Technically I don't think I would need to sell my house as he signed a waiver for the money saying he didn't want any financial benefit and it was done through a layer that he only gets half should I ever sell the house so I don't think that means he can make me sell it.
But I do love him and I want to sort things out. Out with all this mess he is actually a good man and we normally do get on ok. It's just lately that this is all getting to me.
I think it's because I have always been financially comfortable and never had problems with money but things are different now.
I think also I may be suffering from a bit of pnd but I think this is all contributing to it.
Any advice much appreciated please again no bashing please x