Together 11 years. Last time we were together we had some proper ‘from the belly’ laughs & we even joked about whether we’d still be like this in another 10 years time.
All was fine when I was at his place. As I
left, pulled me in for a kiss & hug & I told him I’d see him soon, all was good. No negative body language, nothing for me to pick up on.
A few days later I asked him on text if we could see each other before the next arranged date to which he replied yep. I asked him to send dates over along with (ahem 
) 2 videos of himself that he owed me. He suggested that if I send pictures of my boobs (his favourite part of me) he would reciprocate.
He clearly had no intention of reciprocating. After 6 days of silence (spoke many times daily) I texted to him that I guess no answer is my answer.
His reply eventually basically was that I should fuck off 
I emailed that as he obviously despises me I would appreciate him deleting the pictures of me that he has on his phone. He ignored so a week later I forwarded on the same message- also ignored.
He also owes me some money, I gave him my details twice so he could BACS it to me. Hasn’t been done.
How could I have died with no explanation? Really struggling with him not confirming that he’d rather dump me after 11 years with no emotion than admit he won’t return the gesture of his own damn idea. 
He has blocked me on Whatsapp since telling me to go away as well.
How do I NOT take this personally?
It has become all-consuming & my head is spinning with the last time I saw him with nothing but fun.