Woah, things have got out of hand here... let me elaborate some things:
The biting / kissing was when ds was much younger and I used to tell him off and he'd still do it so I switched tacks and say "we don't bite, we kiss" and show him that kissing is nicer than biting.
Curlyhairdassasin - you've got a lot wrong/mixed up here. My son has never hit another child or thrown anything at a baby. I only have one child, that was another comment from someone else. I spoke with his key worker at nursery today, apparently he's one of the kindest children she's ever had to care for in nursery. He's been helping another little boy settle in to the toddler room by taking him under his wing and letting him join in with the games and toys they play with. Apparently he's very popular amongst the other children.
He did go through a stage of biting me when he first went to nursery - I think this was about the change of routine and possibly because he got bitten by other children on three separate occasions (twice on his cheek, the bruises were deeply upsetting and I nearly pulled him from that nursery there and then, and maybe if we could afford for me to stop working I would have done) he hasn't done this for a really long time.
DH moves into ds's single bed (it was actually dh's childhood bed, and handmade by his late grandfather, so no, we didn't go out and buy a bed especially for this purpose - we already had it). DS 'chose' to switch from his cotbed to the single bed one night - he just moved into it all by himself and sleeps (slightly) better in the single bed than he ever did in the cot. He's tall for his age, so probably too big for the cot anyway.
DH supports me continuing breastfeeding for as long as I want to do it for, especially because ds is allergic to cows milk so the breast milk means he still has a good source of calcium and vitamins, as well as all the antibodies etc. I don't want to stop entirely, just night feeds because I work fulltime and would prefer a better night's sleep than I get most nights. Because ds will boob all night if he can. It's exhausting!
DH has always moved out of our bed for ds - even when he was a tiny baby. This is because he's terrified of rolling over and suffocating the little chap. I think he's over cautious but I guess he has our son's best interest at heart.
I think the people suggesting that ds was being lazy about getting the sippy cup may have a point. DS and DH have been very cuddly together this evening and when DH went downstairs (while I was putting ds to bed) ds kept asking for his daddy.
I don't think it's fair to say I'm to lenient with ds, I try to be firm but fair. I try to teach him how to be kind and respectful but assertive too (I wish I was more assertive tbh).
Thanks for all the supportive tips and suggestions, I really appreciate them and have given me some things to think about. I do think dh needs to change some of his behaviour and I know he agrees with me on this. I think he shouts too loudly sometimes but I don't think he's cruel or abusive or I wouldn't be with him.