Had various problems with DP and his ex, I posted a thread on here about him sharing a picture of them on FB when we were together, she gets invited to family parties still, his family don’t like me etc. She is his neighbour and is completely over involved in his life etc. They split up 6 years ago.
I ltb but he campaigned really hard to get back together, promised he would cut the cord with her, get a lodger so he can spend more time with me, he loved me and wanted it to work. It was Christmas and my youngest dd really missed him (have 3dcs from previous marriage which was physically abusive). We don’t live together but have been together 2 years.
So, on Friday night I couldn’t sleep because he had been v.cagey about his weekend plans. I snooped on his phone because I just had a feeling and lo and behold they had hung out Christmas week having pizza and beers together when I was on a night out and yesterday he was going to do some work in her house. I asked him directly on Sat what he was doing on Sunday and he outright lied and said he was working at someone else’s house. I gave him opportunities to come clean via message (I was away Sat night) and he lied again. I rang him when I got home and he wouldn’t say whether he was coming to mine that night and again lied about where he was. His ex hates me, she has said some awful stuff about my personality (said I had BPD before she had met me) etc.
So I lost it with him and messaged ‘So you are 100% not at XXXX house?’ He ignored me for 3 hours and then admitted he was.
I am so pissed off with him for lying. He has lied about something else major too (money). He said he’s sorry for lying and he knows it’s not ok. I don’t think he has cheated on me with her, I think she would but he wouldn’t. BUT it’s the lying and their interaction in general. Now he’s asking how I knew where he was and seems annoyed with me? I don’t want to tell him I snooped but guess I will have to. It just means once again he will deflect his behaviour onto me? I’m so confused and upset. Any advice? AIBU?