We’ve separated but he’s not moved out

[JeansAndANiceTop]

So exDP and I have called it a day. Very much my choosing, he wants us to stay together. I’m done. I cannot put the emotional effort in to trust him again, I believe he’ll only hurt me again in future.

So, we live in my house, I gave him a deadline to leave by, Thursday this week, we both thought he could go back to his mums probably, she has a spare room, they have a good relationship. But she’s said no. He doesn’t have anywhere else to go. He needs a bit of time to save up for a rental deposit.

I want him out, but I don’t know where he’ll go. Neither does he.

Do I let him stay? It’d mean him sleeping on the floor of the living room. I know he’d push to be allowed back into the bed.

Ideas please.

'His money fuck up was running up debt behind my back.'

Jesus, I hope it wasn't in both your names! Is he paying for his share of rent/bills/food? Sounds like he enjoys pissing money up a wall and expecting the women in his life to deal with it on top of playing the field when he's in a relationship.

No it wasn’t in my name. Just in his. The house is mine, bought it years ago, he contributes to the bill, but I pay the mortgage.
He’s had it fucking cushty hasn’t he.
I feel like a bit of a mug to be honest, but I suppose at least I’ve wised up now.

Yep, my sympathy just evaporated too.
Messaging another woman?
Well there you go - he has got a friend who can take him in for a couple of weeks, hasn't he?

He can get to fuck.
Tell him to be out by the weekend - and that's generous. Out tomorrow also acceptable.

He is an arsehole but make sure that you are legally untouchable in this.

'He’s had it fucking cushty hasn’t he. '

Yep. He's been having it good and wants to keep it that way. He hasn't paid the mortgage, he doesn't have a tenancy agreement or lodging agreement. Get rid.

Surely he has a friend with a sofa? He's really not your responsibility.

I’m not usually such a flange. Promise!

He’s had it fucking cushty hasn’t he

He certainly has - and while you say he's sorry, I'd question who he's sorry for. Hint: if it was you, he wouldn't have cheated in addition to all he'd already done and got away with

And I still very much doubt he'll leave until he's forced ... he's on much too good a thing for that

He can go meet up with his other woman and stay at hers.

Kick him out,you owe him nothing.

He is not your responsibility. AND it sounds like his mum has a room!

Ha! Knew it would involve another person somehow! Yeah turf him out I’d do it tomorrow sod waiting till Thursday. He can camp out at hers she clearly likes him lots and vice versa. Sorted!

So he only been contributing to bills, not paying you any 'rent'? What the hell has he been doing with the rest of his money? Presumably he survived on his wages before sponging off you!

Has he hear of banks? They do loans you know!

Next payday at the latest!! And only if he's keeping out of your way and you think he can stand it. Otherwise asap!

He's a spendthrift. What is the actual probability of him saving like mad over the next 3 weeks? Would he try to get out of paying the bills this month? Answers to those questions would drive whether I would give him the three weeks.

Tbh, seeing as he was cheating, I wouldn't be feeling generous.

He got paid a week ago, he could maybe have up to £300 left from his wages this month. I don’t know. I also don’t know what he’s been doing with his ki eh. He never has anything to show for it. I know some will go on debt repayments. He’s taking things to his mums on Thursday.
He was paying half of the bills/food excluding mortgage.

@LittleMyLikesSnuffkin

Ha! Knew it would involve another person somehow!

Yep and me! Was just waiting for it! Gosh these men are so unimaginative aren't they! Bet he's said 'yeah me and the misses never have sex blah de blah!'

Sorry OP, I can't contain myself so fed up to the back teeth of these twatty men. 💐

So if he has no savings and hasn't been paying rent (just half the bills and food) it means he's spending more than he can afford. How likely is it that he'll actually save enough to not only put a deposit down but afford the rent? Kick him out and let him sort it out.

So is he actually leaving on Thursday? Get rid.

He's going nowhere OP... he's sat on his comfy arse enjoying the benefits of your Home... whilst you're running around worrying about his finances .. worrying about where he's going to go.. worrying about how he will manage...

GET HIM TO HELL out your lovely home .. you have to be an Arsehole and get it done Lady.. take your wee safe haven home BACK

He know I’m serious. He keeps being all sad faced about it. He keeps trying to talk me round so I’ve taken myself upstairs.
I’m just so ground down with it.
I’m honeslty just knackered. He can go to his Mum shop on Thursday. We’re both on the day off so we can use my car to take his stuff round.

He's not your responsibility. He's been given a deadline. Stick to it. He's no longer your problem. If his mum won't take him in then does he not have friends?

He didn't care about your shared history when he messaged and planned to meet that woman.

Stop being a mug and tell him he needs to be gone by this weekend.

Imagine hoe peaceful your home and bed will feel without him there feeling sorry for himself.

how's it going OP ? are you ok

He’s left.
He’s back in at his mums.
I am much, much happier.
Thanks x

Extremely relieved for you, OP ... what persuaded him in the end, and will you be getting those papers sent to him at his mother's address?