Hand hold pls he's gone to hospital alone

[AmaraSas]

New DP, twice we have tried to be intimate, both times he has ended up bent double in agony. This time he has rushed off to A&E. He wouldnt let me go with him... men and their bits! So i'm left home alone pacing the floor. I'm worried sick

Anyone got a hug?

Are you sure you’re not the other woman?

If he has a varicocele all it needs is a very straightforward operation to resolve it. I had this treated and cured forty years ago. I now have grown up children now. It is not dangerous, and it is in fact quite common.

i thought the same about being the OW ...

Nothing would surprise me right now to be honest

Well on a the positive note he has a penis and he is defo a man. As for the rest of his behaviour it is very puzzling , God knows what you must be thinking OP !

So, have I read this right?

he went to hospital by himself, how did he get there if he was 'bent double?' - didn't stay in for tests, didn't come home til next day.

so where did he sleep that night?

suspicious, moi?

Not being goady or mean here but it could be a Genital Herpes outbreak and when he has an erection it puts pressure on the sores. A course of Acyclovir should sort it for now, if that's what it is

If he has Herpes it could be the ejaculation that irritates it if he has sores inside. That would explain why he's being so secretive about it. He probably got a course of meds and is waiting until it clears.... If he is suddenly better then this happens again randomly in the future, particularly after being rundown for a few days then I'm betting it's Genital Herpes.

No need for him to be embarrassed though. 90% of the population has it but not everyone has a primary outbreak or any outbreaks.

Anyone who has ever had a cold sore has it....

I've asked him what he is playing at.

No @SofaKing0101 he drove himself, said he was going to the hospital. I protested that i should drive, he said he would be ok because his seat was in a semi-reclined position, i guessed he found that more comfy. He said he was at the hosiptal and triaged waiting etc via text but then confessed this morning he hadnt seen anybody because he was too scared.

I am trying to get some clarity from him but hes fighting back now. Says he will go tomorrow. I'm exhausted with worry and thinking, probably overthinking.

How old is he op?

How new a new DP is he, OP?

TBH, I've had gynae problems in the last year (nothing contagious or notifiable!) and if I had a flare-up I'm not sure I'd be telling someone very new ALL the details, especially if I were undiagnosed or was going for tests.

I think I'd be taking a wait-and-see approach before insisting on full disclosure, and I'd remain on the sidelines rather than deeply involved. I'd probably not want a new partner coming to hospital either.

Procrastinating about health issues is not unusual, nor is it unique to men's penile worries.

I know, men and their bits eh

I'm going to call it a night, he said hes going to go tomorrow...

I'd be more worried about his convincing lying. As a partner, you'd never know if he was telling the truth.

That is a really big lie. He left you to worry all night! I'd be gone without a backward glance if I were you.

Very strange behaviour. Some valid and helpful responses here but worrying behaviour.

If this isn't a massive red flag with a penis on it I don't know what is.

The lies are ludicrous and can't be covered by embarrassment or fear.

He's just a liar, I'm sorry OP move on.

He’s a big man baby or a total weirdo liar...

Why would you, an adult, want to be with either one of those?

He is either honestly scared or he is hiding something

I think "men and their bits eh" is playing down the fact that he lied to you and is incapable of admitting to and sorting out this medical problem.
Most men are quite capable of sorting out their own genital problems just as most women are.
You do seem to have low expectations of him.
Why are you the one exhausted with worry? You seem to have gone in to mummy mode for a boyfriend you've never had sex with.

Any update, OP?

You are being played, OP.

How long have you known him?

What a ridiculous man.

You're wasting your time OP. And liars are never a good bet.

What happened?

Well i wasnt mothering him despite some peoples opinions. I gave him a few wise words about getting it checked out, he said he would go yesterday but i havent heard from him And i am not chasing him. I've resolved that i wont stand for the lying anyway, but the balls in his court, no pun intended.

I could understand him leaving to go the hospital, then chickening out. Doesn't sound like that's what's happened though. The radio silence is very inconsiderate at best, highly suspicious at worst.

If to herpes suggested above is a possibility you should probably get yourself checked out