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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

999 replies

SweetLathyrus · 02/01/2018 21:22

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
13
Twattage13 · 15/01/2018 18:51

Evening all - just home from work. Totally shattered but day 15 done. Have already assumed the position in bed with PJs, cat and rooibos.

Hoping I won't be tossing and turning so much tonight due to overheating. At least I am not lying awake for hours as I would do post-alcohol.

Actually had a super-productive day today and am all set for my audit on Weds so all good.

xxx

Twattage13 · 15/01/2018 18:53

Evening rothbury bear - there are still 2 bears here and one is MIA :(.

Cunning on the plan for driving - very good work! x

AliasKind · 15/01/2018 19:16

Evening all. After your kindness yesterday just thought I'd let you know that I'm going to make it through day 12 (today). Though the strength of my wine craving has quite shocked me today. I'm ashamed to say I don't think I could get through this without the crutch of AF beer. I'm quite the connoisseur of them now Blush. So that may be another habit I need to break in time but not thinking about that just yet.

Kept counting up the positives today. My skin, eyes, teeth and digestion all seem to have forgiven my previous indiscretions. Amazing really how quickly our bodies start to recover.

I'm staring down the barrel of making it to two weeks now which hopefully will be motivation enough to stay dry for the next two days.

Twattage13 · 15/01/2018 19:29

You can do this alias - keep going! Whatever you need to do right now, you do it (well apart from drinking wine ) :). x

Twattage13 · 15/01/2018 19:29

You can do this alias - keep going! Whatever you need to do right now, you do it (well apart from drinking wine ) :). x

Twattage13 · 15/01/2018 19:29

You can do this alias - keep going! Whatever you need to do right now, you do it (well apart from drinking wine ) :). x

Twattage13 · 15/01/2018 19:29

You can do this alias - keep going! Whatever you need to do right now, you do it (well apart from drinking wine ) :). x

bakingcupcakes · 15/01/2018 19:29

Sweet Why are peanuts not a good snacking nut for stopping drinking with?

I'm tired today. I did go swimming though. And I signed DS up for lessons. Been meaning to for ages but never get round to it. He had his first one this afternoon and it went well.

It's really strange but I've barely thought about nicotine or alcohol today. I feel like I might be able to get back into a pattern of moderation after DJ but not sure if I'd rather stop altogether. I'm definately far less anxious without drink and I really like that.

I'm worried about socialising sober. Not that I get out much but it's such an expected thing. Everyone expects me to have a drink.

venusandmars · 15/01/2018 20:01

cupcakes you THINK that everyone expects you to have a drink, but in reality if you arrive and say you're driving, or that you've got a headache so you want a coffee first (before the glass of wine that you never actually have) you'd be surprised by how little anyone else notices.

And as an old poster, MIFLAW, used to say... why are you worrying about something so far ahead, keep it in the day, and worry only about what is going on now.

Original poster
SweetLathyrus · 15/01/2018 20:14

Just because I don't like them Baking Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetLathyrus · 15/01/2018 20:15

This is really tough, after a long day like today I would normally sink into a bottle glass of wine. Having trouble switching off.

OP posts:
dementedma · 15/01/2018 20:24

Day 15 done. I like not having the internal dialogue while I'm driving home of trying to justify having wine.
Another challenge tomorrow as am away in a hotel overnight. Could be tough.

also, DD flies to New York tomorrow with her BF. he is going to propose. My baby!

Trust2017 · 15/01/2018 20:25

Hi all. 2 weeks today! I have to say I don’t actually think about drinking when I know I have to work the next day. It’s as if there are some rules in my mind that are just accepted. But as soon as I finish work for the week on a Friday it is like an uncontrollable craving. I have managed not to succumb so far but it is hard to get past that Friday feeling when I will always make sure that I arrange with friends to go to the pub and then Saturday which would normally be a boozy long lunch leading into an evening of drinking. Does anybody else associate with this?

Trust2017 · 15/01/2018 20:26

Ah lovely news about your daughter ma they grow up so quickly don’t they?

bakingcupcakes · 15/01/2018 21:46

Sweet Grin I was expecting some kind of scientific reason against peanuts! Don't give in. You don't need the wine.

Venus I know you're right. I doubt anyone would notice or care in the long run. It's just the idea of it. I think part of me thinks it's unfair I can't have a drink at these things even though I know it makes me feel shitty afterwards. I think I'd struggle not to smoke if I was drinking too.

I get what you're saying Trust I find it ok not drinking if I have to do the school run/work the following day but as soon as it's the weekend it's like I deserve a drink and it's hard to be satisfied without one.

Original poster
SweetLathyrus · 15/01/2018 21:56

End of another AF day. First day of the new semester done, tomorrow is going to be even longer, I'll be too tired to open a bottle even if I had one.

Well done Babes who've made it to day 15 and beyond, if you're struggling, keep posting; if you're in the sidecar for tonight, try again tomorrow.

OP posts:
RubyRubyRedLips · 15/01/2018 22:39

I need nuts Grin. I'm eating so much sugar it's ridiculous. Not even to do with alcohol. Just seem to have become addicted to sugar again over Christmas. Bloody hell. Could be the delightful PMT I am experiencing, which seems even worse these days but I like to think that's because generally I'm in a more positive mood (apart from the times of PMS) and so my irritable times are more noticeable

Nice to see everyone.

A special well done to Spring

I'm in bed, going to read for a bit then sleep yum ( and try not to think about food)

SpringIsSprung1 · 15/01/2018 22:40

Well following another horrific night when at one point I truly thought my head would explode with all the madness that was flying through my brain at a million miles an hour, I saw my GP today.
Now on diazepam 2mg three x daily. Already feeling so much better, just hope and pray it lasts! Going to alcohol support centre tomorrow. They will do full assessment and counselling. Gp on site also. Is that a glimmer of light I can see at the end of this dark tunnel?

Trust2017 I think the Friday/weekend craving could be your sneaky subconscious doing it's dirty work! Kick it back where it belongsWink

SpringIsSprung1 · 15/01/2018 22:41

Well done to everyone sitting tight on the bus!x

Trust2017 · 16/01/2018 05:19

Morning all. Day 15 today and feeling good! Can’t believe I have got through 2 weekends without a drink.
Spring so pleased to hear that you are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You are doing so well and still managing to support others whilst going through such a tough time. Amazing!
Yes baking it’s like a reward that is earned after doing so well during the week. It’s so ingrained that it has just become the norm to the extent that if anything came up on those drinking days that meant I couldn’t drink alcohol then I would try and make an excuse not to do it! It’s been quite an insight for me to recognise this over the past couple of weeks and to see how free I’ve felt at weekends (but the craving is still there and I keep thinking about the end of DJ)
Anyway hope everybody has a good day today. I’m off for a swim before work.

Twattage13 · 16/01/2018 05:28

Morning all babes and bears...

Trust I thought I'd be the first up but it appears not!

Day 16 dawns...8 hours sleep and I'm up a bit before my alarm, but I was asleep at 9.30 so I'm fine with that. Slept much better last night.

Totally get the reward at the end of the week thing (TBH I didn't have this when drinking wine as I usually only got as far as Tuesday at the most and I'd be drinking).

For me, the moderation I've been doing always sees me having beer on Thursday, Friday and Saturday. I always WFH on a Friday and Friday evening we're in the car on the way to the coast, so Thursday is my day!

I will need to stay strong this Thursday as obviously last Thursday didn't go so well...

spring very big hug and keep going.

Today I am in the office but hoping to come home at lunchtime and do some work at home. Have a load of writing I need to do so no benefit to be client-side...then an early night before my audit tomorrow.

xxx

Twattage13 · 16/01/2018 05:47

Also if anyone has a link to the old thread at end of March 2010, can you please link it here. The link doesn't work and I don't know how to search for it (being new to MN)! I am keen to keep reading as it's keeping me v grounded. x

Twattage13 · 16/01/2018 05:48

March 2011 - sorry. x

Loubilou09 · 16/01/2018 06:08

Morning all! Onto day 16 Smile

Everyone is doing really well despite some serious challenges! Well done 👍

I am away with work for 4 nights which is very triggering. Lots of us here so there are bound to be a few nights out which I usually miss as I am normally only here for a couple of days but this time I am here 4 nights and s lot of my team are here as well as my client so it would be really churlish to miss an evening out! My normal modus operandi is to have a couple of wines in the bar followed by ordering more with room service - all convincing myself it's because I won't sleep in a strange hotel otherwise!

However I HAVE done this hotel sober once before and I have now done the first night of this trip and was fine - they do an alcohol free beer but they hardly have any (or more than one) in so I asked them to make sure they have some in for tonight and the next 3 nights! I have slept really well so priced yet again that I sleep better without alcohol than I do with it!

I read The Sober Diaries yesterday which was brilliant and really helped with some thought processes! Going to keep that close and dip in an out as necessary.

Alias I did two x three month AF periods last year and the first I relied heavily on AF beers. There is some controversy around using them but I felt they helped massively so see no issue with them - in fact they completely made the first three month AF stint possible! I eventually gradually just stopped meeding them so much and only really resort them in times of real need - once a week maybe? And usually just one or two glasses of AF wine now...

spring glad things are a little easier for you x

Keep on keeping on people!

Loubilou09 · 16/01/2018 06:09

"Proved" yet again