The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Hi twattage and loubiloo -
From my understanding, the bus welcomes anyone who is trying to control their booze intake, whether by abstaining completely or by moderating. Some people can drink occasionally and some can’t. If I remember rightly, the DRY threads, which are also in Relationships, were set up precisely because some posters preferred to be around those who were abstaining completely.
This is a hard road for everyone - I hope neither of you feels discouraged by the other way of doing things. 12 days sober is awesome, as is ditching the wine completely in favour of something else.

Babes stop right now!
Ok I'm speaking for all old & new babes here right now - we do not judge on the bus.
Lou we are all adults here and we have babes who abstain, moderate and struggle on a daily basis. If this is a trigger and you don't think it's for you because it makes it too tempting so be it.
Twattage don't go anywhere - you are welcome here and you are doing really well, yesterday was stressful and you've recognised it as a trigger. That can only be good X
I'm out and about - fat fingers on my phone
We are all here for the same reason and we do not judge

This thread has always been for both moderators and abstainers. But I think care is needed by moderators not to minimise the ease it takes to moderate. (I am not saying it's easy by the way it's bloody impossible for me!!) If some can that's wonderful but not all of us can.

Can we please be careful over the next few posts this thread is to support those who find alcohol difficult. Let's not loose that.

So giving my opinion on how it makes me feel gets me ostracised and told to join another thread.....

Right...uummm not really sure what to say really!

Was rather hoping for some supportive comments on how to get through tonight but ho hum!

Off to join Dry it seems

Sorry x posts with spanna41 who said it far better than me.

twattage I hope you don't leave, this has for many years been a place where we could be honest about our drinking - our fears, our feelings, our failures, and hopefully all without judgement.

And louby I hope you stay too. We support everyone in whatever their goal is. If your goal is total abstinence, for today, for January, for ever, then go for it, and we will be with you every step if the way be it a strong stride, or a wobbly stumble.

It is a tricky line for a thread like this to straddle, of course no one wants their posts to be triggering, yet it is also important that we can be authentic to who we are and truthful about how it's going. At the end of the day each of us are primarily interested in our own journey, and that doesn't always sit comfortably with the viewpoints of others. There have, over the years, been some spectacular fall outs, but still we rumble on, because (I think) we are bravely admitting to facing up to the same challenge. HOW we each deal with it is an individual path. And supporting each other, drinking or abstaining, moderating or not, is the fuel on which this bus had been run.

And x posts with others are all a part of it too!

Personally, I love the variety, the way people share about more than just their drinking, and most of all the humour. The way we switch from lighthearted, crazy, and crude to serious and supportive in an instant.

Lou you are not being ostracised and I'm sorry you're struggling. Friday is a huge trigger day for all of us. We are all different. It took me 2 years to realise that I can't moderate - I am an abstainer. I hope you don't leave. I think when babes are doing well and they fall off the bus with their personal goal it can come across as defensive. I certainly have posted sounding defensive. It's a coping mechanism with my struggle. But I will reiterate we do not judge on this bus. I am aware and have read judgement about the Brave Babes and our bus on other threads which is up to them but here we don't do that - either about our bus or other threads.
Keep going Lou what distractions have you got planned for this evening?

I wasn't judging either Spanna - I just said I didn't think it was helpful. I have read before that the babes welcome honesty about drinking and I personally struggle a bit with that - I find it triggering and I have followed these threads from the very first one anc I truly believe that they are sometimes enabling - I don't see why people have to make a big hoo haa about what they had - why can't people just say they are in the sidecar? But whatever I am not flouncing or getting my knickers in a twist. I am trying to deal with my own wine witch tonight and as had been pointed out it seems it's my problem with the thread so I have a choice

Thx

Twattage please stay!

You mentioned our discussion on triggers - yes, stress is one for me too but I’d actually tie it up with boredom and put it all under the banner of ‘frustration.’

I often feel like I should be doing something better or coping better and that leads to me seeking escapism. Are you the same?

Day 14 so two full weeks!

lou I'm sure you didn't mean to sound judgey, but it read that way to me (hence me getting pissed with you).

Likewise I didn't mean to sound defensive or flippant, but it came across that way (TBH I was really not thinking it through at any level - it was early this morning and I hadn't had my coffee). You will see I do tend to post first thing around 6 when I get up, to reset myself for the day, it's really not thought through that well.

I will be more careful not to sound flippant, but equally the amount one drinks is an important factor for anyone who has problematic drinking. I could have said I had beers last night and people may have though I got shit-faced and entirely lost control...which I didn't.

Anyway I wish you luck with this evening. I have been in the position of trying to stop my 1 1/2 bottles of wine per night habit and I know how difficult it is. I can't moderate it and I don't go near it.

If it can give you any hope, there is an amazing life post-wine and it does get a lot easier when time has gone by. Stay strong.

Lots of love. x

dry - yep definitely an escapist...I am frequently bored when others are not...I hadn't thought of it as frustration but yes it's probably all the same thing.

Today the total fucker from yesterday has been nice as pie...I've helped him out with something so now he's happy. Anyway - work done and parked until Monday. x

Forgot to say dry - amazing work on two weeks :). x

Thanks Twattage..I have some AF wine and some becks blue so going to sink into those.

I could do with a really good box set as there is nothing good on at the moment which makes the evenings sooo long if I haven't got an exercise class - anyone got any ideas?

Thanks Twattage..I have some AF wine and some becks blue so going to sink into those.

I could do with a really good box set as there is nothing good on at the moment which makes the evenings sooo long if I haven't got an exercise class - anyone got any ideas?

SayWhen I picked up the first glass to treat myself on Mother's Day. I was certain it would just be the one, and I would be back on the bus the next day. It wasn't just the one that hour , and I hit the 'fuck it' button instead of the 'reset button'. I don't think I've managed more than two or three weeks at a stretch since then, however, looking back at my diary, I think I managed to be AF for about one fifth of 2017, a huge improvement on nothing.

Its day 12 for a lot of us brave souls. Now is the time to look at the bottom of the matter.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=pbs.twimg.com/media/Cc9EavJXEAAOKPp.jpg&imgrefurl=twitter.com/unisonsn/status/706858893901762560&h=803&w=600&tbnid=Juq_GvoiyQur2M:&tbnh=260&tbnw=194&usg=__PvH857aNYdmhVLPi6V8e6IOjNKU%3D&vet=1&docid=S8UCRVxLDX4ZtM" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=pbs.twimg.com/media/Cc9EavJXEAAOKPp.jpg&imgrefurl=twitter.com/unisonsn/status/706858893901762560&h=803&w=600&tbnid=Juq_GvoiyQur2M:&tbnh=260&tbnw=194&usg=__PvH857aNYdmhVLPi6V8e6IOjNKU%3D&vet=1&docid=S8UCRVxLDX4ZtM

Sorry everyone. The above is a chocolate Bristol Stool Chart.

What do you like to watch, Lou? The Miriam Margolyes tour of America on Iplayer isn't exactly a box set, but she is a wonderful example of how to live life without giving a shit! (I stood next to her at an event once, she is JUST like that and made me feel tall - I'm 5ft 1!)

Twattage in RL, I am a 'diffuser' and I tend to try to do it with humour, not everyone gets it. Tone can easily be misunderstood online. I'm pleased you're able to turn work off for the weekend.

Love and peace everyone.

I love that cake, Jog

SweetLathyrus i very much get that. Have you heard mother recovering. I keep going on about it.... promise I am not getting endorsements!! Relate to her a lot as well.

I have this good feeling of being 70 days af but feel like I'm walking on the edge of a cliff - it could all crumble underneath me at any second.

Today it will not. Today I won't drink.

lou have you looked on Channel 4? I am watching Dawson's Creek from the beginning at the mo. If you go on dailymotion.com you can get Neighbours, Gilmore Girls etc.

Otherwise with all the wine you're not drinking you could invest in Netflix? x

Hmmm might try Gilmore girls - a friend of mine loves it and raves about it!

We have Netflix, Sky (just got sky Q), Amazon - you name it but i still can't get inspiration!! Might try Madam Secretary - that's been one I have toyed with...

Loved Breaking Bad, seen all of Greys, just watched Jorkskott, loved Fortitude, Happy Valley, Dr Foster, Mistresses...

Hmmm might try Gilmore girls - a friend of mine loves it and raves about it!

We have Netflix, Sky (just got sky Q), Amazon - you name it but i still can't get inspiration!! Might try Madam Secretary - that's been one I have toyed with...

Loved Breaking Bad, seen all of Greys, just watched Jorkskott, loved Fortitude, Happy Valley, Dr Foster, Mistresses...