The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Hi everyone, Day 10 has finally come. I’m still having really weird dreams at the moment but sleep getting better. I need to catch up on the thread so will check in later.

ma my DP is not the most supportive either because he’s tried a couple of times to encourage me to join him, but I managed a firm NO 💪

Wishing everyone of you a good day x

DryFeb - your triggers are the exact same as mine and in that order...interesting. Boredom / social and pretty much nothing else.

Nobody is going to flame anyone here - whether or not you're drinking (I intend to be drinking again on holiday and back to moderation later this year).

I don't have children so don't know what it's like to be at home with them, but I am sure it could drive you to drink fairly easily!

We have all been there...xxx

I've looked up the Jason cake book- are there any other book recommendations from anyone?
Deep breath- today I'm not going to drink

Vale not cake!

mint that really is a lot to take on board and a shock to the system. Anyone you can talk to about it?

elba good to see you. ma still won’t hand over the green Opal Fruits.

sweet oooooh Sarah Raven! That is gardening porn. I have one of her books which I gaze longingly at and wish my garden looked anything l8ke it. Do you have bulbs coming up yet? I’m down south so we have lots of bulbs sprin8ng up (probably going to be wiped out by a late snowfall)

mumztlla small children are very very boring however much you love them. Keep talking to us and keep posting, that’s one way to stay off the wine. It CAN get better,you can stop drinking and it will be ok.

I’ve just eaten some delicious Jamaican cake brought in by a colleague and have now been told it’s full of rum have I failed?! The alcohol will have burnt off during cooking, right?

Twattage I’ve thought of another - liking the taste! For instance if I’m in a pub which only has sugary tap soft drinks and no hot drinks, I’d rather a crisp white wine over a sticky, flat Coke any day.

I can handle the boredom trigger but am pretty bad in big social events with people I don’t know well (and that’s when the worst binging happens). I just find small talk excruciating and alcohol soothes me into it...

Talking of gardens - I just went outside as the sun was out and it's 10c in London today. It was actually warm on my decking so I sat outside for 15 mins in the sun and just watched the world with my cat...perfect :).

That got me thinking that spring is not that far off now! So much to come this year...

Dry - I get you. I don't drink fizzy drinks at all (gave them up around 2012) and I don't have a sweet tooth. I obviously no longer drink wine as of 2013 but what I will say is that the smell of all wine now turns my stomach.

I haven't been in the pub so far this year, but I used to get frustrated in 2013/14 when there was literally nothing to drink apart from water in some places that was alcohol free. Even in one bloody hotel we stayed in, I had to drink tap water all night! I was not best pleased.

I do love the taste of a nice 5% beer (Heineken / Peroni) but anything stronger I find unpleasant TBH.

mumzilla I get you. I work from home and I took to having my own little 'lunch breaks' with wine of course, and sometimes started even earlier in the day to help me be 'creative' in my work. Creative as a newt!! I agree that the easiest way is not to buy it. Is the drink already in the house or are you going out in the morning and adding it to your supermarket shop. Try ordering online so you're not tempted, or go to the shop with only enough money for what you really need. Are there any groups you can join in the mornings or activities you have to drive to later in the day? All of that might help to break the habit.

Can I still consider myself to be on Day 12 if I’ve eaten rum cake?

Of course dry! You're doing so well

Of course! I am sure it will have evaporated during cooking. x

Thank you for all for such a warm welcome and great advice. Twattage, we are at a similar stage it seems, well done to you too and stay strong! Same to everyone.
Yes, will head off to early thread to have a good read!
Have had a low grade headache almost constantly since detox ended which was for 8 days which is getting me down too. Maybe sinus trouble tho' as had headcold for ages.

Trust2017, thank you also for your wise words and encouragement. I can't tell you how grateful I am to have such support. Hope I can help some of you in return if I can keep myself on track.

Thank you everyone. I have written off today. Tomorrow I will start again and not go and buy wine. I will try to find something to do in the morning.

Hi mumzilla2. Try not to think about today and focus your mind on a new day tomorrow. Don't make yourself promises, it just puts more pressure on. Whenever I have a crave I immediately switch my mind and think, why do I want to put poison into my body? I don't and I won't! That bloody evil stuff has no right to take over my life any longer. I want my life back! Get angry if you feel it helps; then comes the energy and strength to resist!

Thank you spring. I could have tried harder this morning. I find it a really long day with a toddler. Tomorrow I will check in on here and go from there. X

Phew! Day 12 stands then... I shall check packaging more thoroughly in future

Good luck mumzilla hope tomorrow’s an easier day. Maybe write up a plan for the day so you’re too busy to go to buy wine?

Good luck for tomo mumzilla don't beat yourself up for today just look forward

Hi springle - was just checking back on the previous page to see what stage you were at!

I see you were on 1 1/2 bottles of wine - as was I in 2013. However the good news is that after 19 April 2013 I decided to stop and I haven't touched a drop of wine or spirits since.

Sorry if I'm repeating myself as I did post it earlier but it may have been on the previous thread!

I was 100% sober for around 11 months, then started drinking some beers when I moved abroad, successfully moderated from 2014 - mid 2017, when I took the summer off for an extended break from work (I run my own business so can do this).

Got into a bad habit of drinking every day with my boy (nothing more than beer, but even so, not ideal), started a new contract in Sept which was quite stressful, and then found it hard to cut down again. Daily beers in December etc.

So am currently on a period of total abstinence and will go back to moderation when I'm ready.

I remember I also read the JV book in 2013 and it helped a lot. The main thing is if you see alcohol as a negative and everything else in your life as a positive, then it much much easier to knock it on the head as you don't really feel inclined to do it. That's certainly the way I view wine and spirits.

Right now on day 11, it's quite easy to play the record to the end. If I have a couple of beers now after work I will feel like shit tomorrow and not be productive, because I haven't drunk for 11 days etc etc. The longer it goes on, the less I feel inclined to break the situation.

Anyway, will pause with the waffle! x

My special hot chocolate cup. I put it next to the kettle for comparison, it really is big, that's not just perspective!

Right switched to my laptop so I can write properly.

Mumzilla, you will never be flamed on the bus, this is not AIBU, as it says at the top of the thread, ". . . a place of safety, support, and occasional silliness". And this isn't just me as the OP for this particular thread, it has been the philosophy of the Brave Babes Battle Bus from the beginning.

I don't think I've ever admired here before that I've drunk in the morning, but I have, and not all that long ago. It's easy to do if you think no one is looking. You will judge yourself far more harshly than anyone else, I certainly did. Try posting when you want that am drink, don't be embarrassed, don't wait until after, company will make it more difficult to do, easier to resist.

'admitted' obviously, not 'admired' (so much for a proper keyboard!)

Evening All

Elba hello lovely and HNY to you so glad your move went through. Keep posting you'll get loads of support here, as you already know. So good to have you back

Beaches I saw you back there. HNY sunshine. Slow start is better than no start. Stick with us lovely

Mint wow that is alot to take in at least you found out about DGD now rather than years down the line. x

Spring welcome and I'm sorry to hear about your mum. Time on our hands when our days were full is a hard one. Try and write down all the stuff that you want to do - new hobbies, holiday, beauty treatments, new haircut, new exercise regime etc keep yourself busy

Welcome Mumzilla no judgy pants on this bus. I've been a morning drinker too. Like you say, don't buy the wine tomorrow and distract, distract, distract

Sweet Sarah Raven lives a few miles away from me. I booked my bestie onto one of her courses back in September (she is dalia mad and she loved it) well worth every penny as Guggs says gardening porn and she's a lovely lady!

Sad news for me this week a woman I worked with for a couple of years sadly died on Monday morning (51) - liver failure (she had given up booze for 1.5 years but the damage was done) I don't do fuckbook but a colleague showed me this picture of her holding her first grandchild at least she met her before she joined the angels...she came to my 50th back in April and was drinking coke and dancing like there was no tomorrow and now she's gone. I've got feelings of guilt as I knew she was having dialysis and I didn't make the effort to visit her

I've found a new drink Babes - M&S Mexican Lime and Lemongrass Presse - it's pigging delicious currently sloshing my way through a bottle - I'm sure it's probably full of sugar but I don't give a fuck

Can't remember which Babe said it - I used to dream about drinking all the time especially in the first few weeks then occasionally each month. Like you said it's in our subconscious and was part of what we did - please don't worry it will stop

Off to eat my dinner - love to you all - welcome back Ruby
Take one day at a time Babes and well done all who've got to double figures

I meant to say, Guggs, yes, Sarah Raven is the very epitome of garden porn, I don't even like cut flowers, for dahlias, but I'm drooling over the dahlia collections for cutting . And yes, I have signs of life in the garden, bulbs pushing through, and even some brave primroses in flower.