The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Wow there are some really inspirational stories here...Margie, Spanna and Venus, you have done amazingly and I am so glad to read some long term AF stories on here. I stayed on the DRY threads for quite a long time as I thought (wrongly) that everyone was moderating on the Babes Thread and I found that too triggering, so am really glad I have revisited and found some long term abstainers.

The most I did was 92 days at the end of 2016 and then I had a few over the Christmas period which I didn't really enjoy so then did another 3 months mostly AF but I did drink on 3 occasions in that time. I then drank at weekends from March 17 - November 17 but it was creeping up and then I drank pretty much daily for the whole of December just gone.

I found at the very beginning that I relied massively on AF susbstitutes, Becks Blue, Heineken 0 and AF wine (Eisberg). I don't need them so much these days but in the beginning I can remember white knuckling particularly on a sunday night (cooking a roast is a huge trigger for lazy sunday afternoon wine) and having 7 or 8 becks blues just to get me through. People have mixed feelings about AF drinks but I found them to be an absolute godsend. In fact they were the complete key for me completing my first 92 days, I remember really well my first day 3 which happened to be a Friday night and someone told me about Becks Blue and it was the biggest revelation ever, I was in a right state as was cooking (huge trigger), it was Friday, I had done 2 days, I deserved it blah blah blah. I had a becks blue and couldn't believe how much it helped and I never looked back from then on! (I even took a couple into the cinema with me)

Eating is another absolute key thing for me and I will eat early, particularly on Friday and Saturday nights to cut the cravings. We used to go out for a few drinks and eat when we got back but that just doesn't work anymore so as soon as the cravings start I will make sure I eat and it does stop the cravings in their tracks.

We go to the Cinema A LOT when we are AF, we choose a film that is on around 6pm and eat before we go, by the time we have got home, the cravings have passed and it's nearly time for bed.

Good luck everyone today, today is just another day.

So interesting to read all your stories - I'm so glad I joined this thread.

Rothbury, I think I might be the same kind of drinker as you. And my father is an alcoholic.

I agree, too, that 'alcoholic' can be an unhelpful term. Not least because I look at my father and think 'well I'm not like THAT' - which means I've been minimising for years just how much I drink and how I go about it.

Hmm that is interesting rothbury and whirly - I am now on part 3 of the original thread and there is a strong feel both there and here that it runs in the family.

I am not aware of anyone in my family having alcohol issues. I do have somewhat of a destructive personality (everything has to be either black or white). Since stopping the wine in 2013 I have really embraced my shades of grey in all areas of my life. Not drinking forces you to re-evaluate every area of your life over a period of time, that's for sure (there is plenty of time to do so).

The one thing I haven't achieved is to get to my WW goal - I was 10 pounds from it in 2014 and been maintaining at that weight until 2017, when I've put on 7 pounds or so. This is the year to get it off.

Afternoon! I've fixed up on Beecham's and the caffeine in them along with countless cup's of tea has made me a bit manic, so I've just cleaned my skirting boards and bathroom!!!
I just wanted to comment on a previous post about excuses for giving up drinking. Last year I said I was doing Dry January to lose weight then I said in February I was carrying on and doing the 90 day challenge for charity. People seemed to believe me.

Good afternoon all you lovelies....
Just catching up on out wonderful bus which is rattling along!

I don't like to jinx myself but I'm actually feeling really postie today -tied but positive. I'm not craving wine at all, I feel really determined that I will choose NOT to drink any more. Forever sound's too long and unrealistic so I'm aiming for a year at least. In my head and heart however I know I really mean "totally abstinence forever". I feel very lucky that I got to thensure place of stopping before I travelled any further down this path which for me was one of self destruction. I know it's not destruction for everyone but for me it was. It has been.

But today I'm feeling positive. I'm feeling alive. I feel like I'm making good choices for my mental health.

This morning I got up at 4.45 and was put the house at 5.20 to go meet my friend for an early morning long run. We met up with some other runners and I did 9 miles and was back go.e for 8.20am. I'm not bigging myself up whatsoever but I am pleased with myself -I don't consider myself to be either a fast or "proper runner" and I struggle with motivation at the best of times. ..... but I made a choice I was going to go, I committed, I got up and went and did it. For me that's great. I could never do the early runs before as I knew after a bottle of wine the night before I couldn't even attempt to keep up with the "proper runners". Well this morning I did. And I felt bloody amazing when I got back to my 3 sleeping children and husband.
For the first time in many many many years I have enabled myself to have a positive experience as a result of Not Drinking. And I have allowed myself to feel happy and proud of that little fact. And I've been happier for it all day.

My mental health has been an absolute struggle for almost all my adult life. Starting running gave me a shift in my thinking in march last year....giving up alcohol has completely utterly changed it altogether ....... combine the two and I've been in some lovely little bubble of relief that I have only ever felt once before - the day my newborn ds came home from his first 4 months of life in hospital and multiple open heart surgeries.
So.....today I am feeling very blessed.
Xxxxx love and peace and hugs to all
Ps sorry for rambling xxxxxx

spanna that is a very clever piece of analysis. It really is getting past the ‘fuck it’ switch. I really struggle with maintaining sobriety when i’m massively stressed. Over years i’ve found lots of ways of keeping stress to a minimum but when the really crap things happen then I still reach for the bottle.
Onward and upwards!

Oh and £13k ,scary isn’t it?

Fantastic post forever
You have put into words just how I feel.
I have gained so much from not drinking and that just doesnt tie in with all the current perceptions /media/social media
regarding alcohol.

Thats amazing forever - I bet you feel incredible, and I totally get the mental health aspect of exercise.

Exercise has also really helped me with being AF, I don't exercise at all if I am drinking but the minute I stop, I am back at doing something almost daily and I love it. I get a real buzz from it and it helps with the evenings when I would normally drink.

Well done you, I am completely jealous of your 9 miles! I am way off that :)

Loved your post Forever - for me running and abstinence have been key in battling my demons. Well done on your awesome early morning run!

I don’t particularly like the word “alcoholic” either, I prefer to say that I have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. However, I just found this quote and it sums things up for me.

Lots of deep thought an reflection here today. That's important, we all need to identify our fears, our triggers, the real feelings and not the tipsy, sloshy, slurry ones.

Mouse lovely to see you Babe. Ongoing illness is so mentally and physically wearing. You look after yourself, knowing that your always in our thoughts here. x

Managed my two gym classes, one 'total conditioning' followed by pilates. I could not have done that two weeks ago. It's still all a bit wobbly around the tummy, but I am definitely noticing a little less bloating around the waist.

I can't seem to summon up the will to do much more, it's cold and grey, and this is the last weekend until Easter that I can properly veg out.

I already suspect the clear-headedness and free time is going to lead to some uncomfortable truths to face.

At least when I’m hungover, I can laze around with a movie and a pizza without guilt... I don’t really grant myself that relaxation time otherwise

Also I am really anxious, grouchy and irritable, and I don’t know why!

Is this how enlightenment begins, on Day 8!?

mouse good to see you back on here.

I'm actually feeling rather cringy and embarrassed at the posts from people reading back all of the threads. Partly because I'm stunned how long I've been on here but also because my life is laid out there for total strangers to read - which is entirely my fault for posting it all in the first place. I would hate to read back. Like reading an old diary and curling up with embarrassment. Oh well, Richard's story is in there and may help some of you...
Struggling a bit today.

Hi all I would really like to say thank you to everyone on here, especially @LuxuryWoman2017 and @dementedma who told me about this thread in the first place. Also everyone else for their words of encouragement it is really helping me. So far I have done 4 out of 5 AF which I didn't ever think I would be able to do. It really helps talking about it on here and being able to ask questions. It also helps knowing it's not just me with a problem. I don't really have anyone in RL to talk about it as I think they would be shocked knowing how bad it got. Apart from my OH who is in the same position.
I've decided to write a blog because it feels like a diary and in the hope I can look back on it when I'm struggling.
If anyone fancies a look at what I wrote today it's at igniteyoursparkle.wordpress.com/2018/01/06/friday-nights/
Good luck for tonight everyone and be strong. I don't know if I said before but I tried Belvoir raspberry and lemon cordial with some sparkling water and some frozen blackberries/blueberries. It really felt like a treat and took the edge off x

Totally agree on the running ladies. I haven't run since the end of November because of a chest infection. Am restarting tomorrow - not sure if I'll manage my usual 5k but we'll see what I can do.

I spent the whole of the summer running after drinking and wondered why my time didn't improve at all! It's kind of obvious really isn't it?!

I'm in the middle of cooking a keema and I have a San Pellegrino with a slice of lime on the go.
x

@Margie32 that quote is great

Hi call can I join even if I am late to the party? I promise to be a good party guest and help tidy up.....

I am Day 5 of no drinking. Me and DH are heavy drinkers which has got out of hand in terms of quantity as our ability to drink without getting a hangover has got " better" we were drinking 4/5 nights a week and would have over a bottle of wine each most nights.

So I have been here before and don't want sobriety I just want control.

DH wanted us to have a glass last night and I said no, I don't want to tell him what to do but it is so much easier if we are both not drinking.

My big worry is that drinking is a big part of our marriage and although it has caused awful rows it is also a source of great times between us so I really am worried about the impact on our marriage.

Wow - this bus is so clean, sparkly and clear-sighted at the moment. We babes should take a minute, wherever we’re at in our individual journeys, to reflect on what an amazing achievement this collective expedition is. I’ve just read through today’s posts and there is so much wisdom, profundity and humour on board right now - I feel happy and humble to know you babes.

And lou I couldn’t agree more about the usefulness of AF beers at this stage in the stopping process - though I will never quite recover from the mixed shame and amusement of getting stopped by the police for drinking one when I was driving. Not sure if I or they were more discomfited.

Hi everyone, you are all sounding really positive! I went in town had lunch, plus a Diet Coke. I was with my friend who rarely drinks so there was nobody saying - just have the one and it will be ok. It’s never ok for me as I have one then two then stop at Tesco for a bottle and I will always finish the bottle. I’m having a nice bubble bath (hope I don’t drop the phone)

good to see you back mouse as you welcomed me on the bus ages ago but I fell off so to speak.

forever loved your post too and think I should think of taking too running as it’s free and good for you. Happy vibes babes and bears x

I'm not sure if it's a day six slump, or my period, but I'm feeling low this evening too, just inexplicably sad. I've also got sinus pains again. But still here, still AF, I think it'll be an early night for me.

Aww @SweetLathyrus I hope you're ok. I felt a bit twitchy a couple of days ago but not really sad. Well done for getting to six days - that's brilliant. Have you got anything nice you can have to treat yourself? Or did you get any nice "pampering smellies" for Christmas so you could go and have a nice relaxing bath to make yourself feel a bit more special and relaxed. I do feel like I'm missing out still especially as it's the weekend but am trying hard. You are doing great for making it almost a whole week!

Thanks, Trying I don't get bath things because I never bath! I've had a hot chocolate in my special HC cup, it's 20 years old and makes Hot Chocolate taste even better than usual and only I am allowed to use it except in very exceptional circumstances .

This is me tonight all. Rocking and rolling with the 'erbal teas xx

Katedan, you and your DH are sounding very like me and DH here! I too am trying to get the whole thing under control. And I'm sure I can do it. But DH is not on board at all, and it would be so much easier if he were.