The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

This will be the first Friday in forever that I haven't had a drink. Even when I was pregnant, I would have one small glass of red wine for a Friday night. I think I'll get through it by pretending it's actually a Wednesday or something. Easy to do during the holidays but I'm not sure how it'll work once everyone is back at school and work. Hopefully it'll be easier 12 days in, instead of 5! Good luck to everyone tonight - keep karate-kicking the wine witch in her sour old face.

Happy Friday everyone!

Whirly your posts resonate with me. I have also been drinking a long time and mine and DH's relationship very much revolved around alcohol. I started trying to cut down properly....some time ago.... September I think? Possibly August? Anyway, DH was not on board at all, and it really put a strain on our relationship, even though I only stopped drinking Mon-Thurs and was still having way too much at weekends. I am now attempting Dry Jan and DH has surprised me by deciding he has stopped drinking for good ! I still feel a bit 'I'll believe it when it happens', but he's done over a week now, including New Year's eve, and just came back from the corner shop on a Friday evening with tomato juice and a baag of salad!

So, for me, I just did it for myself (stopping during the week) and did not try to persaude him at all - on the basis that it's a decision that people need to make for themselves (although I did have to suppress my irritation at the lack of support) and it seems to have rubbed off, and turns out he's better at not drinking, as well as at drinking too much - We are quite competitive with one another though

Good luck!

Yorkshire - oh I'm totally with you on Friday (and Thursday / Saturday).

flowers that's brilliant he is now with you. I am v lucky that my boy only really drinks a couple of ales and a bit of port / red wine but he has very much an off button after about 3, and will then just stop.

Good luck for this evening all.

Hello All,

just came on to see if anyone had posted the link to the William Leith article and I Sweet and Small got to it before me. It's really interesting.

Good luck to everyone stopping or moderating and a wave to those in the side car!

Yorkshiretea, I was the same when pregnant, small glass of red once a week, so this is the longest I've ever stopped since I started drinking as a teen. Luckily, I never used to buy fizzy drinks so they have some allure as forbidden! One night I went to open a second can and was completely shocked at myself, ooh, no a second can of fizz, that's disgustingly overdoing it. From the woman who'd down a whole bottle of wine without it touching the sides.

For those struggling to stop or struggling with the idea of stopping forever, I just want to say experience and everything I've read, is that it gets easier.

Hope MrsHoolies is ok. I haven't spoken to you before but read your story on here and previously clocked your very kind posts on mumsnet. You stuck in my mind as I thought your name is fab!

I'm trying to distract myself by reading seed catalogues rather than thinking about sinking into a glass of wine.

Evening all, I’ve saved the guardian article in my phone for later. DP came in and gave me the eyes (do you want to drink eyes). I’m struggling but always do day 5/6. I’m away to change into my PJ’s and watch some tv and keep lurking in the background until the craving passes. Hope you are all doing ok x

On the plus side house is spotless

made it round the supermarket but felt I needed something to replace my weekend "treat" so am mainlining chocolate peanuts and raisins. I will make myself feel sick but its not alcohol so the lesser of the two evils.
DH has FLU ie a cold which has given him licence to sniff incessantly. I may have to kill the bastard

Im actually struggling. Id have my first weekend gin by now.....xxx

The dreaded Manthrax, demented. You have my sympathies. One of the small advantages of DH being in the sandy place is that I don't have to put up with the sheer patheticness that is "man with cold". Good luck!

Last could you have an 'N & T"? It's everything but the gin, ice, lemon/lime slice, ritual, and if you use a good tonic like Fevertree, you'll hardly know the difference.

Well done Ma, chocolate peanuts are the lesser of too evils, and you deserve a treat. As for DH, there's not a court in the land that would convict, sniffing is EXTREME provocation .

What, if you run out of things to clean and tidy, you can come and do my house

It's cold out there tonight, but at least it's dry, hot chocolate and early night kind of night.

Bloody Hell sweet!!! All these years and I have only just realised what your user name actually is. I have been reading it as Sweet Lazarus!

Crashed and burned this week. DDog has pancreatitis (andcso will I if I carry on drinking like this)
But firm intentions for next week. Have looked up an AA MEETING!

can anyone tell me if you have to let them know in advance or do you just turn up?

Ha, ha, ha, ma, no wonder it got shortened to Sweet . Was it the seed catalogues that gave it away?

Ginger I can't be certain, but I think just turning up is ok. Poor Dog. Are you drinking now? Can you put down the drink you have and have a soft drink or tea?

I might give that a go sweet. Im on chai tea at the moment, i'm bjust eating loads instead! Xx

Thanks @SweetLathyrus I have the kettle on as we speak!

Day 5. No fags or alcohol. The nicotine withdrawal has been the cause of the insomnia. I hope that abates soon. Twitchy Friday night. The thought of wine has just made me tearful. I have approx 3+ bottles of wine a week. I can not drink Sunday, Monday and Tuesday but feel I deserve it by Wednesday. How to remove the concept of reward from smoking and drinking and how they punctuate the day.

Checking in - will read back through all the posts tomorrow when I have more time.

So I was away on business the past two days - somewhere in UK but a beautiful holiday destination so I was very happy. Gorgeous old hotel, time to wander around. It was all going well, I went for lunch and chose a tea room rather than one of the 756 pubs. Old me would have been straight in the boozer!

However, that evening, as I sat in the dining room with my book and menu, the manager came to me with a big beaming smile and offered me a free glass of wine I must look like a drinker to compensate for a very minor issue with my room. So for some reason, instead of saying how lovely, I will have an orange juice, I said oh thanks - please may I have a glass of shiraz

And then I took another glass back to my room, what a sad failure

I am telling myself that it's OK because I really just want to stop drinking at home in the evenings, but I know really it was very silly of me.

Oh well, I shall start over. Good luck at the meeting ginger

Jog both at once is tough going. What other little treats would be good for you (Lux is the expert at this)? A new nail polish and the time spent applying it? An extra special box of biscuits? An Sky Box Office Film (other ppt services are available).

Good going Ginger

Rothbury Argh! Free booze . . . NOOOO! But, can you count it as four days out of five instead of back to square one?

SweetLathyrus
Thanks. (I know it says somewhere how to bold people, I've forgotten where that is.) The two are good mates though, one will egg the other on. I think its my worry for physical health that's pushing the stop smoking and the mental/emotional health for the drinking although I am probably under-playing that.

I am going for a walk now as I've not had a chance to get out today. Going to speed walk to shop to buy crusty bread for soup and other stuff no doubt - not wine though. Tobaccos here already as partner smokes.

Thanks forever, creepy and pony

Day 7 for me! I’ve got no plans tonight and am a bit bored. Being bored is a major trigger for for me so I think I need to fill my Friday nights in future. Face mask Friday seem a good idea for tonight though!

PS anyone else want to eat everything in sight instead?!

Well I’ve managed tonight AF (danger time passed for me thankfully). Tomorrow is the dreaded day 6 that I’ve not been passed (except when pregnant) in a long time. Sweet I will come and clean everyone’s houses if it keeps me away from the wine . Everyone doing great but it’s not easy. I will say goodnight but will be snoozing on the back seat of the bus x

rothbury good to see you back. the other bears have been missing you.
don't go back to square one after a blip because its disheartening. The AF days are banked and still count. You can't undo them. What I used to do was stop counting days consecutively but turn them into fractions. So instead of doing 4 days, then drinking and then saying back on day one, you move on to 4/5 days. then 4/6, or 5/8 or whatever.
I went to brew my nightly spiced tea - my new weapon against the WW and DISASTER! Some bastard has had the last one!! I have had to make do with a Green Tea and Jasmine which is saved by the jasmine scent but not as good as the chai.
sweet i am looking at you in a whole new light. You are not a body raised from the dead but my most favourite garden flower!!

Hi how is everyone doing? How are you getting on @Trust2017 is the gym helping? I haven't been to the gym for about three weeks. I intended going today as a distraction but was too tired after work. I stuck to soft drinks Wednesday and Thursday and still trying hard tonight....

Is there a day in particular, for you brilliant people that have stayed strong for many days/weeks/months etc when it gets any easier or when you look at yourself and can really notice the difference it has made to you physically as well as mentally? I'd be really interested to know, if you don't mind sharing.