Together in a shit relationship or single parent and happy???

[potatoes13]

Is it better for young children to be with happy single parents or miserable together ones?

My father in law (sort of, not married) thinks children need both parents to be present to have any chance in life.

My partner is a old fashioned (like his parents), lazy, miserable, bully (plus a bit of spit in your face, wish you were dead action a couple of years ago), after which I vacated the bedroom.

He has a difficult, responsible job, everyone at work thinks he's ace, at Home couldn't be further from it.

I know I need to leave the bastard, please share your left the bastard success stories!!!! 2 young amazing kids to take into consideration. Xxxx

Happy parent = happy children.

2 young amazing kids to take into consideration You deserve a happy, fulfilling relationship. Your children also need to learn what a happy fulfilling relationship looks like.

Definitely better to be a HAPPY single parent.

I brought up Dd1 on my own her father was an Arsehole.

Single parent and happy most definitely. Life is way too short to live any other way than in a state of peace and contentment.

I've been telling him for months I'm considering leaving but he thinks I'm bullshitting, I think my decision has been made but it will be so difficult to implement?!

Single happy parent rather than miserable parents sticking together. It fucks kids up and gives then warped views of relationships.

Definitely single and happy. You may well meet someone who will make you happy too.

Never been in this situation, but my sister and I were brought up by a single Mum.

We saw our dad very rarely. I think it would have been better if we had never seen him at all, or contact had been consistent.

So if you are leaving, and he doesn’t want contact, I wouldn’t push it. If he wants contact, try to make it consistent

Sounds like you will be well rid though.

I made the mistake of staying in a terrible marriage because I thought it would be better for the children to have 2 parents together.
4 years since split, they were teenagers, wish I had done it years ago. Children are resilient and it is so much better to have a happy peaceful home and hopefully show them what a happy relationship is like than have a miserable one as a model.
Good luck

Well my parents were miserable together and so are we. DP Is in denial as we have happy 'family days' but no sex in 7 years and essentially, although I have given birth twice, I have three children.

Single parent from when I was pg with dd2. Never regrettted leaving dickhead exh. I never stop thinking about money and I'm v tired a lot of the time but I'm not dealing with his bullshit.

Ended relationship in June with dp of 2 years. Regret entire relationship and the impact on the dds.

This is the first new year I've been truly alone at new year since I was up all night feeding dd2. Kids are asleep upstairs. Calmest I've felt yet.

I am the product of a couple who stayed together unhappily. It is definitely not better for anyone. I wish my parents had split years before they did.

I feel you Abbotswood. Xxx

Abbotswood, I am in exactly the same position

But how do you know if you would have been happier with your parents split? I loved that life with two parents that split and fought. We lived a super poor life and it was horrid! Money doesn't make people happy but it does pay the electricity bill and feed the kids.

Single parent to 3 here! Definitely much happier single than in the shit relationship I had. Even though it’s tough and lonely sometimes it’s better on my own! It can be done and you can thrive as well as survive.

Lived not loved

I left a miserable, 17 year relationship, in April. It's not been easy but the kids are fine and thriving and I am 1000x happier being on my own. I knew for years that the relationship was shit but hung on because of the children. I've never once looked back and know it was the right decision.

I chose to be a single parent

I’m now happier than I have been in years

Happy single parent. I am also the child of parents who were unhappy and destructive for most of my childhood. I was horrible and i would much rather have had a happy single parent. Be brave and leave.

Your partner is obviously not happy with you (not your fault).If you split he might meet someone he loves and become a decent human being and make a better parent.The same applies to you.
Of course if he is a total wanker he won't change but at least you will be happy

My very unhappily married parents stayed together for our sakes..it was horrible and I remember I begged my dad to divorce my mum so often.
My dd’s dad was a nasty, abusive man and I put up with it for too long, I left when she was 2 and we moved into a grotty little flat with nothing to put in it.
You know what? That place was like a palace in heaven to us and we’d never been happier x

Brought up by a single mother; our lives improved immeasurably after they split. It's very true that children learn what relationships should be like from what they see around them.

Single !

My dc seem happy. Not every child has a parent trap fantasy either. such a myth.

Single. I grew up with parents that had a difficult and horrid relationship. It was awful to watch. I remember the relief when they split - we didn't have to wall on egg shells anymore and the weight seemed to lift off of both of our parents.