Lonely this Christmas

[Starlet1]

I have realised how alone I am because for the first time I am spending Christmas on my own. Friends are too busy with their families which is understandable but what I cannot get my head round is how my family treat me. My mother passed away a year ago today with complications of her MS, I also have MS. Due to us living at opposite ends of the country I never saw much of them, but father has a woman he calls his daughter, no idea who she is , she was a friend of mothers apparently, but because she will be on her own he has driven some considerable distance at 82 years old I might add to spend the Christmas period with her - Excuse me , he has a real daughter who is on her own! I have a sister only 15 miles away from me who told me that she doesn't want any visitors , Christmas is just for her her husband and her son and daughter-in-law law. I don't have. Husband or partner any more, we split up eighteen months ago because of his infidelity , and my son is a medic and is working all over Christmas, so it's just me, billy no mates.
I keep crying, I suppose I'm depressed but I really honestly feel that I don't matter to anybody, not one person. I've got no presents to open, nobody to talk to ....... I've never felt so alone before.
I understand people are busy but I keep seeing them on social media out with families and friends, going for meals and to the pub, and it's just me .
I know I am moaning, but I'm just so unhappy. I struggle with my disability and not one person has telephoned me to see if I am ok.
I'm really shocked, I thought my friends were real. And my family, well, words fail me.

Hi, yes I know about the tweet thing, I'll take a look, I'm trying to be positive but it sucks

You have actually bought tears to my eyes! I wish I could help you all I can do is say I am sorry and offer

Oh. Bless you. Thank you so very much. Lots of happiness to you xxx

Hello. I feel for you OP. I am also alone. I’m in my 50s, divorced, no children, no family, no friends. Trying not to feel sorry for myself but it’s hard at this time of year isn’t it? The TV is rubbish too. Have resorted to the re-runs of Midsomer Murders on ITV3.

What’s the twitter thing? I’m willing to try anything to feel better than I currently do.

Jx

Not often I cry at threads on mumsnet but yours has just brought a lump to my throat.

I’m sorry too.

for you. Here’s more about #joinin - a really nice initiative www.thejournal.ie/sarah-millican-joinin-3694415-Dec2017/

Merry xmas to you all. It is just a day...of over-indulgence and bad tv . Wish I could meet you all and put the world to rights.

twitter.com/SarahMillican75?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor

A link for sarah millican, warning any ladies with bladder issues may need protection. She is so funny

I'm just joining in to send heartfelt wishes to you. A big virtual hug and a handhold.

Like a pp said, it's one day, just get through it and treat yourself well. Tuck yourself up on the sofa and watch a Carry On Film or something cheerful that you enjoy.

Do you have some nice food to treat yourself to? What can you do that makes you happy? Do you have a good book or magazine?

It feels like we are on our own doesn't it.if you type in #joinin on twitter you will find her thread.
Yes, TV is rubbish isn't it. I've been recoding odd things for weeks but have nearly run out of things to watch that don't remind me of Christmas.

Thank you for your kind messages, I don't feel so bad now. Wish I could hug you all

I've come to visit my DM in the country she lives in, otherwise I'd be on my own. I've been single for 2 years after a very LTR & feeling fragile at this time of the year. I might see extended family whilst I'm here, but no guarantee, as they're all busy with their families. It is a lonely time of year for so many, and going forward, we can only hope that things will get better for us. Sorry to hear what your dad has done. Speak to him when he gets back & see what was his thinking. I hope your day goes by very quickly

Thanks Black and Blog. I have never used twitter but I am going to sign up and give this a try. Jx

I spoke to dad before he went and said he had to do what he thought was right. This is what he chose. He will have to accept the inevitable gossip , by thats his problem .I put it down to not thinking clearly after losing his wife.

Sad to hear you are alone at Christmas; I'm working but do have family to go to in the pm.

I hope Christmas goes by quickly & bearably for you all x

Good for you! I join in with #joinin as I think it’s such a good thing & I enjoy talking to people. Twitter can be a very warm, friendly place. Hug to you OP & anyone else here feeling sad or lonely.

Yes it is a lonely time for lots of people, single or not. I went for a wander in town today and Christmas is disappearing, in favour of the sales. It's quite dreadful really, there is too much hype, too much emphasis on the "perfect day" it's wrong!

Well I'm at home with family and I don't feel any less lonely. End of a relationship. Missing someone you can't be with
It's actually just a shitty time of year sometimes.
All we can hope is that we all have to endure the bad things with the good and that even this is will pass.
No one gets to have total happiness all the time for varying reasons. But I agree there is way too much pressure this time of year and unless you're very good at being positive it's bloody hard.
I could go to bed and just cry but I can't.

Bless you. It's awful thinking everyone else is having a wonderful time when your heart is breaking. I miss my ex terribly even though he was a complete rat. It doesn't help you though. Time is your friend, sad but true. Thinking of you xxx

Sending you a hug. Christmas commercialism give a false idea of what it’s about. As others have said try to treat yourself in some small way.
Try to get out for a walk, it does the brain chemicals good!
Families can be sh* sometimes.

Yes, families are not who we are born to. I will try for a walk, depending on if I am physically capable, hope so.my disability makes it not viable some days.
I am still very hurt by my ex - Christmas just makes the pain worse, I can see too that my friends are not quite as good as I thought and I shouldn't have relied on an invite somewhere. Next year I will know.
My father, well he just beggers belief . How can he not know that calling another woman his daughter to me would hurt? I don't know anything any more.
Thank you for taking time to respond, you are so kind. I wish you a joyous day xxx

I feel the same as Worriedrose, almost 18 months from the end of a very important relationship and although I'll be spending the day with my son and his dad, who I get on well with, I'm still hurting inside. Keep crying and am telling myself to get myself together but this time of year always makes me feel a bit wobbly. Something about Christmas seems to bring stuff to the fore for me. Always has done. Have a hug and some from me.

I see my parents for a few hours over lunch tomorrow but that's it. I lost my grandad this year and my beloved nan last year. My parents and I get on but we're not really close. The best thing about Xmas was always seeing grandparents. I have no siblings. I'm 43, and have been single for approaching 8 years. Every Christmas is the same. I see and speak to no one Xmas Eve, Boxing Day, 27th, 28th or 29th almost every year. I also lost a close friend on Xmas Eve when I was 18 so it's all really shitty. So I hear you, OP. Totally get it. I just want to go to sleep and wake up in January. I have friends but they're all doing family stuff although I will at least see some of them on NYE.