I have realised how alone I am because for the first time I am spending Christmas on my own. Friends are too busy with their families which is understandable but what I cannot get my head round is how my family treat me. My mother passed away a year ago today with complications of her MS, I also have MS. Due to us living at opposite ends of the country I never saw much of them, but father has a woman he calls his daughter, no idea who she is , she was a friend of mothers apparently, but because she will be on her own he has driven some considerable distance at 82 years old I might add to spend the Christmas period with her - Excuse me , he has a real daughter who is on her own! I have a sister only 15 miles away from me who told me that she doesn't want any visitors , Christmas is just for her her husband and her son and daughter-in-law law. I don't have. Husband or partner any more, we split up eighteen months ago because of his infidelity , and my son is a medic and is working all over Christmas, so it's just me, billy no mates.
I keep crying, I suppose I'm depressed but I really honestly feel that I don't matter to anybody, not one person. I've got no presents to open, nobody to talk to ....... I've never felt so alone before.
I understand people are busy but I keep seeing them on social media out with families and friends, going for meals and to the pub, and it's just me .
I know I am moaning, but I'm just so unhappy. I struggle with my disability and not one person has telephoned me to see if I am ok.
I'm really shocked, I thought my friends were real. And my family, well, words fail me.