Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A note from a secret admirer...?!

96 replies

GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 17:53

Somebody left a Xmas card on my car and it read as follows:

"Have you ever thought that out there nearby there's someone, with a bad handwriting and a tendency to leave creepy notes, actually thinks about you." "If only I can tell you who I am...at least for the time being." Signed: "The secret, and terribly creepy admirer. Have a wonderful Xmas!"

Frankly, I'm flattered. I'd think if I, a man, did this to a girl, it'll come across as creepy? Do you think?

OP posts:
RestingGrinchFace · 21/12/2017 18:39

I would find that very creepy. If a secret admirer doesn't know you well enough to know your last and first name as well as an address where he may have flowers or chocolates delivered then he doesn't really know you except by sight and is therefore a creeper, not an admirer.

Think of it this way: someone in your social circle who you have spent time with who knows what you are like and, think you are pretty great, has made discrete enquiries as to whether he has a chance with and, with the help of a friend who has supplied an address, makes a nice romantic gesture to make you smile= admirer

Some guy whovregular sees you get in and out of your car and likes the look of you so puts a note on the windshield=creeper

suchislife44 · 21/12/2017 18:44

Personally I wouldn't be flattered. It seems a little odd. As someone else said a straightforward statement would be different as this would demonstrate confidence and sincerity. To me this note suggests that the woman feels inferior to you or is keen on dramatics

mogonfoxnight · 21/12/2017 18:44

cweepy. does it really say "creepy"? was she writing in her second language?! if so she may have meant "mysterious" i suppose. if she had said "mysterious" i would think it is quite sweet actually.

twiney · 21/12/2017 18:44

I like it. I find it quite sweet and wry.

NoOneElseToBlame · 21/12/2017 18:49

It is really cute. Not at all creepy!

GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 18:50

I might add, she also said at the bottom:

"Please don't feel stalked, I just noticed your car outside and thought I'd leave you a note..."

If she's the person I think she is, then she's definitely shy. And, FGS, how is this bullying? Shouldn't one feel bullied in order to call the sender a bully?! For me, it's an awkward note, but nevertheless sweet.

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 21/12/2017 18:52

I've just re read the OP, I thought the note had been written by a man. What do they like to say on MN, is this a reverse and you're thinking of sending this yourself OP?

GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 18:54

@Vitalogy LOL...no. If I'm 100% certain who the person is, I'd just approach her. I was just curious how males and females view or respond to such 'gestures'... Grin

OP posts:
Shouldileavethedogs · 21/12/2017 18:56

Awwwww I love it. I hope it leads to romance Wink

Wherearemymarbles · 21/12/2017 19:01

Rgf
Op is male.....

GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 19:01

Guys, I remember a couple of years ago my gf received a similar note. She thought it was a bit creepy (not sure she said that because I was there or not?), but I thought it was probably from a shy guy. Didn't think it was creepy, though.

This is why I'm curious whether men and women see these things differently...or it all depends on your perception of romance, flirting, relationships...etc.

OP posts:
Trills · 21/12/2017 19:06

It's one of those things that is quite risky.

If the receiver guesses who it is and likes them too, it gets filed under romantic.

If the receiver guesses who it is and doesn't like them, it can feel quite creepy.

If the receiver has no clue who it is, it's just a bit odd.

Trills · 21/12/2017 19:07

See also standing outside someone's house with a ghetto blaster. If they like you, it's romantic. If they don't like you, it's really not.

GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 19:09

@Trills agreed. Good point.

OP posts:
DoctorTwo · 21/12/2017 19:43

If a woman did this to me I would A/ question her sanity and 2/ tell her to get her eyes tested. :o

WhatADoozy · 21/12/2017 19:50

This is why I'm curious whether men and women see these things differently...or it all depends on your perception of romance, flirting, relationships...etc.

I suspect it's because men don't assess situations for the risk of sexual assault in the way that women do.

I knew a women who had similar. She was 20 and reported it to the police. They discovered who it was. The guy doing it was far older than her was not shy and was definitely creepy.

routineplease · 21/12/2017 19:57

How do you know the creepy admirer is a woman? It could be a man OP!

Thebluedog · 21/12/2017 20:42

Grin at oddish

I think it’s kind of sweet

Skittlesandbeer · 21/12/2017 20:48

I’d be put off by the low self esteem of it... ‘I’ve got bad handwriting...I think I’m doing something creepy...I’m worried I have to stay anonymous’. Not likely to be my cup of tea in person, this one.

If you’re going to do this sort of thing, make it decisive, romantic, funny, or cheeky and about the other person, no?

GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 21:08

Skittlesandbeer She's being sarcastic, I believe....or at least this is how it appears to me.

OP posts:
GeeWhiz · 21/12/2017 21:11

@routineplease Female handwriting, hearts, and a couple of smiley faces Grin

OP posts:
mogonfoxnight · 21/12/2017 21:22

I think it is sweet other than the word creepy but you say it was sarcastic, and it sounds like you are smitten, so you should go for it!

velourvoyageur · 22/12/2017 00:06

Are you asking as a hypothetical?

The syntax is odd, I wouldn't send that.

GeeWhiz · 22/12/2017 00:19

velourvoyageur That's what I received. I only showed excerpts from the note and this is probably why the syntax is odd. If that's what you mean?

Mogonfoxnight

Erm, shouldn't I have something tangible to work with first? [Wink]

OP posts:
velourvoyageur · 22/12/2017 00:26

Please don't feel stalked, I just noticed your car outside and thought I'd leave you a note...

That you didn't include this in the OP (when it would so clearly be relevant) and just mention it after a host of posters agree the original note is creepy makes me think all the more that you're trying to phrase a note yourself and get it OKed by some "females". Best to be upfront if so Smile

I do agree that a man doing this to a girl (i.e. a female child) would be more than creepy.

Btw handwriting can't be male or female. Saying it is is just unnecessarily contributing to the gendering of the sexes. (Oh and can't think why you see the use of hearts and smileys as off-limits for men. The mind boggles, honestly. On another note, sending hearts to a stranger is quite full on, though could be a cultural thing.)
Sorry to be snippy but I do think you use language carelessly and it is important.