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Original poster

Husband jealous of my teenage ex BF

53 replies

Mansnothot · 21/12/2017 08:22

Hi I don’t really post much but could do with a bit of advice.

I’m 41 been with my DH since I was 19 and have 2 DC. My eldest DC started at high school in September and has a new best friend whose Dad happens to be one of my ex boyfriends from when I was 16. DD and his DD have been inseparable and are often at each other’s houses so her Dad has been here a few times to pick her up and vice versa. He is now married to one of my childhood neighbours so it’s funny how it’s all worked out. I have become friendly again with my old neighbour and have been out for coffee a few times which is nice.
Anyway the other night I could tell DH wasn’t happy so asked him what was wrong and he said he hates it when ex BF comes to collect his DD as he can’t stand to see me chatting with him and can’t get the image of us together out of his head!! I was with him 25 years ago ffs! We have now been invited to a New Years party at their house and a few other old faces will be there so I would really like to go but DH has said we’re not going. We had a massive argument over it last night. I wouldn’t mind but I only went out with this guy for about 6 weeks and I was still at school!
Is this normal behaviour from a man in his mid forties?? It’s not like he didn’t have any girlfriends before he met me.
Sorry for waffling!

OP posts:
Cambionome · 21/12/2017 08:24

I think your dh needs to grow up asap!

Shoxfordian · 21/12/2017 08:31

He's completely out of order

Is he usually this possessive and weird about other men you know?

LittleWitch · 21/12/2017 08:39

My XH was exactly like this. It gets worse if you don’t stamp on it hard. Ultimately he accused me of attempting to start relationships with, amongst others, my gay hairdresser, a fellow passenger on a plane, pretty much any bloke I worked with. All the while of course he was shagging anything with a pulse.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 21/12/2017 08:39

How ludicrous - he's being totally unreasonable.

Justgivemesomepeace · 21/12/2017 08:41

Omg he's ridiculous

Thebluedog · 21/12/2017 08:42

Your DP needs to grow up and get over it.

Redken24 · 21/12/2017 08:45

😂😂 sorry but what the heck

RidingWindhorses · 21/12/2017 08:45

6 weeks! He's bananas.

FellOutOfBed2wice · 21/12/2017 08:48

I think you need to be straight with him that he’s being a pillock. Totally unreasonable.

Babyblues052 · 21/12/2017 08:50

So bizarre. I'd put my foot down with this shit now! Sounds like you will be in each others life for a while since your dd are best friends and your dh behaviour will only get worse.

category12 · 21/12/2017 09:05

You need to go to the party and keep interacting normally. He's being completely absurd and you shouldn't give in to him an inch on it, because it's so ridiculous.

category12 · 21/12/2017 09:05

You need to go to the party and keep interacting normally. He's being completely absurd and you shouldn't give in to him an inch on it, because it's so ridiculous.

TheNaze73 · 21/12/2017 09:10

Your DH is behaving like an insecure twat

hellsbellsmelons · 21/12/2017 09:10

DH has said we’re not going
WE'RE!!!???
Really???
So he gets to tell you what to do as well?
Hand him a grip and tell him YOU are going and he can either willingly go with you and have a good time or stay at home and stew.
This isn't going away so he's going to have to get used to it.

SnowGlitter · 21/12/2017 09:14

Well he can do what he likes, can't he? If he doesn't want to go to the party, he doesn't have to.

But, by the same token, you can do what you like too. If I were you, I'd go.

SpartonDregs · 21/12/2017 09:15

And he never once kissed a girl before you?

This man is utterly pathetic.

Clutterbugsmum · 21/12/2017 09:20

I'd be telling him to grow the fuck up, and dd's and I will be going to the party and he can stay at home and be miserable by him self.

FWIW by cousin best friend in school was one of my ex's child. Who was conceived while we were still together and him cheating on me. But you know what it never bothered me as I'm a grown up and what happen 5/6 years prior to the children meeting was irrelevant.

laudanum · 21/12/2017 09:30

Masculinity is SO fragile. What a total 🔔🔚.

Tell him to stop being ridiculous and carry on as normal. Don't pander to his bullshit for a second. Let him have his mantrum, and carry on doing whatever.

RollingRollingRun · 21/12/2017 09:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mankini36 · 21/12/2017 09:36

Very strange for someone that age to think like that. My best man had slept with my wife to be Grin

Bringbeboback · 21/12/2017 09:39

Jealousy destroys relationships (speaking from experience). He clearly has deep rooted insecurities and must feel inferior to him for some reason (is your ex better looking? In better shape? More succsessful? A bubblier personality?)
Keep giving him loads of reassuarance and be crystal clear with him that even if you were single you wouldn’t be attracted to your ex anymore and you just see him and his wife as people you’d like to be friends with.
If he still gets annoyed about it then he really needs to get a grip and realise that his insecurities can’t dictate who you can and can’t be friends with. He should trust you implicitly by now. And if he’s jealous then he needs to work on his own self esteem and not drag you down with him

0ccamsRazor · 21/12/2017 09:39

Op he is behaving in a controlling misogynistic, infantile manner.

Stamp on this hard.

Do not back down.

He needs to grow up.

Bringbeboback · 21/12/2017 09:43

Also, my OH is best friend’s with his ex’s brother and spends a lot of time with them all. She is married to someone else and it’s been over a decade since she dated my OH. I’m always invited out with them all too and I genuinely couldn’t care less about them still being friends

Olicity17 · 21/12/2017 09:45

He is being a dick

BigSandyBalls2015 · 21/12/2017 09:47

Is the ex gorgeous and DH a bit portly and balding now?

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