Husband jealous of my teenage ex BF

[Mansnothot]

Hi I don’t really post much but could do with a bit of advice.

I’m 41 been with my DH since I was 19 and have 2 DC. My eldest DC started at high school in September and has a new best friend whose Dad happens to be one of my ex boyfriends from when I was 16. DD and his DD have been inseparable and are often at each other’s houses so her Dad has been here a few times to pick her up and vice versa. He is now married to one of my childhood neighbours so it’s funny how it’s all worked out. I have become friendly again with my old neighbour and have been out for coffee a few times which is nice.
Anyway the other night I could tell DH wasn’t happy so asked him what was wrong and he said he hates it when ex BF comes to collect his DD as he can’t stand to see me chatting with him and can’t get the image of us together out of his head!! I was with him 25 years ago ffs! We have now been invited to a New Years party at their house and a few other old faces will be there so I would really like to go but DH has said we’re not going. We had a massive argument over it last night. I wouldn’t mind but I only went out with this guy for about 6 weeks and I was still at school!
Is this normal behaviour from a man in his mid forties?? It’s not like he didn’t have any girlfriends before he met me.
Sorry for waffling!

There's only one way to deal with this, which is to firmly tell him that he is being utterly ridiculous. And that if he thinks he can dictate who you can see and socialise with, on the strength of a school-girl relationship, then he needs professional help for his self-esteem and control issues. But in the meantime you will be getting on with your life - which includes going to the party you've been invited to.

And then roundly ignore any attempts at arguing or emotional blackmail. This is really so pathetic I can't believe that he's not embarrassed to admit it!

OP, does your DH suffer from any other obsessive behaviour? Look up "retroactive jealousy". It can be related to OCD. My DP suffers (and I mean, he really suffers) with RJ but therapy has helped a lot. It's easy to say he's being ridiculous and he should get over it but it's not something he can just turn off, as frustrating as it is for you (believe me, I know)!

Hmm, going against the grain a bit here. We moved back to DH's home town and I really hit it off with one of the Mums from my youngest' class (our kids were boy girl and not friends).

DH came with me to pick up one day and turns out she's his sixth form girlfriend. "Yes" she says "I did wonder...." (unusual surname). Thing is, I knew he had really liked her and felt he had messed up. And, though he has never said, I suspect she was his first.

I hold my hands up, I am the jealous type, so I didn't really pursue a friendship any further. And I don't like it if he mentions they've been chatting. I keep it to myself though, because the problem is with me. I'd never tell DH not to talk to her.

DH also used to go out with one of my best friends before me. They split quite amicably. None of us have a problem with it.